DannyCA Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 My little sister is 12 and going to be 13 very soon. Her whole life I just saw her as my little sis, (even though I knew she was going to grow up eventually.) I guess my question is how do I approach her about being a teenager, the birds and the bees, her being safe, boys, etc? It's funny because I always knew she was going to grow up, but I never accepted it, I just foolishly believed she'll just be my little sister who enjoys pixar movies and disney channel forever. It was not until 3 days ago that all came crashing down and slapped me in the face. I found her iphone (yeah I know she's 12 with an iphone 5.) I had no idea she had an instagram account. So I went on there. She doesn't have any bad photos or anything but two things bothered me. She has almost 300 people following her IG account and she doesn't think boys are gross anymore. The 300 followers things scares the s*** out of me because shes 12!! She hasnt even met 300 people in her life. I'm in college and our older brother has been graduated from college and we barely have 300 followers combined. So I am going to talk to her today but I want to know if there are any pointers anyone can give me. I feel I should talk to her because our mom is pretty old fashioned so I feel like she'd be more comfortable talking to someone younger. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Valen Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 (edited) Maybe I'm traditional but I would never want my little sister or nieces or anyone preteen or younger to have a smart phone or unlimited access to the internet, no Facebook either. They are so impressionable and we know the internet can be a dark place for deception and bullying. I have read horrid stories of young girls who made mistakes and share naked photos of them to strangers and get blackmailed. One even committed suicide over prolong cyber bullying and harassment. I think we have to protect them from the dangers of the internet at those innocent age. Regarding your sister. I think it's just best to keep a close brotherly relationship with her where you two can talk about anything. This way if she has any questions regarding boys, she can come to you. Then that's when you take the opportunity to giver her good advice, avoid the users and abusers. And sometimes you don't have to say much but set a good example for her. She'll look at you and her dad as examples of what a guy should be. My sister and I hardly ever talk much about relationship but I try my best to be a good brother to her. She did good and never fell for jerks. She is now married to a great guy. Couldn't have ask for a better brother-in-law. Edited November 8, 2013 by Valen 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 My 11-year old stepson has an iPhone and is HEAVILY involved with Instagram (with 400+ followers). But, OP, you shouldn't necessarily be the one to talk to your sister about the birds and bees... You could just start talking about your own experiences in social media and see if she starts opening up to you. You can't have this be a one-off convo - it needs to happen over time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 I would just let her know that you are always there for her if she has questions about boys or anything else she is too embarrassed to talk to your parents about. And just keep talking to her about her friends and boys she likes, etc, so as she gets older, you become her confidante. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 Start by assuring her that you love & that you are here if she needs you. Ask her if she has any Questions. Ask her a few probing questions. Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 And now I wish I had a big brother. Talk to your parents first and see what if anything they know and are doing about it. It can be a starting point with her. If you can develop a relationship with het where she can talk to you, feel great about it. Any woman would benefit greatly from such a protective presence. The thing that I would suggest is to make her feel like you are trying to help and protect, so she doesn't see it as invasion, being told what yo do and controlled. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 Get an Instagram acct and follow her. Keep an eye on her acct, and use it to learn more about her life. Do things with her that she enjoys: take her to the mall, to the roller rink, whatever. Spend time together, and she'll likely open up and start talking about her life. Listen, and take those opportunities to offer your point of view. Keep building that relationship, and keep the line of communication open. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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