Sarah Posted January 18, 2001 Share Posted January 18, 2001 Hi Tony, I just wanted to tell you that you are actually right. I broke up with my boyfriend just before christmas, and I met this other guy. He was so nice, he called all the time, he was there all the time, wanted to buy me stuff all the time - and you know what. I dumped him. He was so boring and predicable. Now on the other hand, when i first started seeing my ex, he was aloof and almost to the point of a**h***, and man did I want him. It was a game, and I won (not really cos we broke up) but we are still friends. Just wanted to tell ya !!! Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah Posted January 18, 2001 Share Posted January 18, 2001 So sorry, the point that I am trying to make is - when I first read what you say "about treating them mean to keep them keen", I thought what a load of crap. What girl wouldn't want some guy all over them. AND THEN when it happened to me, I thought get this guy away from me....... So next time, Tony, i will believe you !!!! S Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 18, 2001 Share Posted January 18, 2001 Well, Sarah, I didn't learn this easy. I certainly did my share of butt kissing very early on. I was one of those real nice guys who never got anywhere. I got knocked around, eaten up, spit upon, walked over, crushed, etc,...mostly because I was just way way too nice. Oh, yes, there were lots of ladies that were my friends...buddies...and all that...not what I wanted...but when you're nice, often that's about as far as you can get with the girls who won't stomp all over you. I've paid a big price for learning this lesson about being too nice and too predictable...and I pass it on here for FREE. But, just like you, people don't believe me (and think it's a load of crap, as you say) until they take a test drive. P.S. I have never used that phrase you referred to..."treating them mean to keep them keen." I don't advocate treating anybody mean. There's a big difference between being unpredictable, being a challenge, not being so nice...and being disrespectful and mean. Thank you for your very kind words. I wish, however, I was really wrong about this. It's sort of logical that you could win someone over by being very kind, sweet, and generous to them...but it just doesn't work that way most of the time...especially in the beginning stages of a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
elmer Posted January 18, 2001 Share Posted January 18, 2001 Thanks again Tony and Sarah, This is now the third day since I rang my new 'interest'. To be perfectly honest, I've spent most of those days waiting for her to call, and today was intending on taking her out to a rather expensive restaurant... But that would probably have been a bad idea wouldn't it? I think a lot of guys have this problem - that we meet someone and just turn into starry eyed mushy dreamers. I'll let you know how it goes - this is my first attempt at staying on top of the meeting-someone-new craziness. Well, Sarah, I didn't learn this easy. I certainly did my share of butt kissing very early on. I was one of those real nice guys who never got anywhere. I got knocked around, eaten up, spit upon, walked over, crushed, etc,...mostly because I was just way way too nice. Oh, yes, there were lots of ladies that were my friends...buddies...and all that...not what I wanted...but when you're nice, often that's about as far as you can get with the girls who won't stomp all over you. I've paid a big price for learning this lesson about being too nice and too predictable...and I pass it on here for FREE. But, just like you, people don't believe me (and think it's a load of crap, as you say) until they take a test drive. P.S. I have never used that phrase you referred to..."treating them mean to keep them keen." I don't advocate treating anybody mean. There's a big difference between being unpredictable, being a challenge, not being so nice...and being disrespectful and mean. Thank you for your very kind words. I wish, however, I was really wrong about this. It's sort of logical that you could win someone over by being very kind, sweet, and generous to them...but it just doesn't work that way most of the time...especially in the beginning stages of a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 18, 2001 Share Posted January 18, 2001 YOU ASK: "was intending on taking her out to a rather expensive restaurant...But that would probably have been a bad idea wouldn't it?" You bet your bippy little buttox!!! Why would you want to do that? It would do you no good. Oh, yeah, she'd probably love a sucker to take her to a nice place...and then she'd let you leave her off at home at which time she'd call another honey...one that let's the suckers take her out to nice dinners before they see her. I think you are beginning to get the point. Link to post Share on other sites
elmer Posted January 20, 2001 Share Posted January 20, 2001 Well, I managed 4 days without calling but did last night, just a short one to see if she wanted to come out to town (I was inviting other friends too). A couple of salient points: 1) When we met she said she wasn't ready for anything serious 2) She has guy friends and one other that I think she sleeps with (I figured this was fine as I was seeing someone else too) 3) We had one chat where I may have said too much - I probably came across to her initially as world wise etc., but the fact is I'm still learning heaps 4) When we chatted today, my brother and his GF were here. I said something along the lines of "It'd be cool if they got to meet you...they could tell me if you're worth pursuing..." Her (serious tone of voice) reply was "Oh, I'm not, really not". Sounds to me like even 'playing the game' at this point will not be of any use. Should I not see her again or simply enjoy time with her? (If that's even possible now) Link to post Share on other sites
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