Why is it so important for the OW to know they are the love of MM's life?

[MissBee]

If I didn't feel that he was "the one" this relationship would not be worth it to me. There are a lot of challenges thrown my way and it would be easier to date a single man, definitely, logistics wise and easier on my heart! Haha. So, yes, I do feel this way, and not because of insecurity. It's because if I felt he did not see me as the love of his life, this would just not be worth it.

 

Which was my point. I agree.

 

Now, whether it is true or not is another story. But certainly for many OW, because of the challenges, risk, contradictions etc. the one thing that can make that all seem worth it (whether reality pans out this way or not) is that it is deemed special, "the one" or something of the sort. I thought that about my AP at the time, now I realize he was one of the people who were a good match for me, but he was not "the one", as circumstances ended up unfolding. However, I too had to have some notion of it being special and worth it, which wasn't based in delusion or anything, but I do also think sometimes the nature of As can foster this feeling as well.