A New Chapter

[Cdngirl5279]

I've been lurking on the site for a few weeks now. I'm finally ready to share my story, to help myself as well as hopefully help others.

 

I was in a relationship with a MM for 11 months or so. It was a full relationship, not "just sex" and we cared about each other deeply. He told me that he loved me in July, when we went away for a couple of days. His wife became suspicious in early October, and somehow he managed to smooth things over and convince her that nothing was going on. We had plans for my upcoming birthday 3 days later and I assumed that they would be cancelled but they weren't. We went out as planned, although the first few hours were rather awkward. Two days after that, after we both discussed it he came clean with her and told her everything, that she was right about suspecting something was going on between the two of us. He maintained that he wanted to still stay in touch with me while "working on his marriage". I didn't see how that was going to work, and looking back now....I didn't want to stay in touch with him. We haven't seen each other in a month, and haven't talked (phone, email, FB etc) in two weeks. Today I received a "final" email from him and I just laughed, it was over between us a month ago. I realize that the BS probably made him send it, and it was probably discussed in counselling.

 

I've been dealing with some health issues for the last month (started before she became suspicious), and there is a possibility I may be pregnant. I will find out in the next week as I get some test results. If I am, how do I approach him about it?

[Patrice]

Hopefully you aren't .. keep me posted .. if you are, you have some decisions to make ... they will break you because you are vulnerable. If you are vulnerable, then you need to take steps to rectify that ... xo.

[Cdngirl5279]

I'm hoping I'm not as well. What do you mean if I am vulnerable? I can't see myself NOT telling him...I mean he would be the father. After the "final" email of today, I can see him saying something stupid like he's not the father.

 

I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but I've always tried to prepare for the worst possible scenario in anything.

[Cdngirl5279]

So far, no bun in this oven! LOL

My Doctor ran a battery of blood work as well, so I'm waiting to hear back on those results. It includes a pregnancy test, so that will be the definitive final answer.

[Cdngirl5279]

It is official! I'm NOT pregnant. I feel a million times better and it is another step in healing after this mess.

[Raena]

I have to say, I felt a great deal of relief for you too when you posted that you aren't pregnant.

 

At least now you can go into full NC and start your own healing process.

 

Good luck to you!

[Cdngirl5279]

Thank you so much for your kind words! Today was the first day that I felt I could truly move on one hundred percent. I am focusing on healing myself and am looking forward to enjoying the holiday season! I know that he will creep into my thoughts now and again, but I know that will also pass with time. Ive decided to keep an appointment with a counsellor next week as well. Full steam ahead with MY life!!

[Mount]

I am glad you got your news...

 

What is the "final" email, what did he say?

 

I'm hoping I'm not as well. What do you mean if I am vulnerable? I can't see myself NOT telling him...I mean he would be the father. After the "final" email of today, I can see him saying something stupid like he's not the father.

 

I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but I've always tried to prepare for the worst possible scenario in anything.

[experiencethedevine]

Thank you so much for your kind words! Today was the first day that I felt I could truly move on one hundred percent. I am focusing on healing myself and am looking forward to enjoying the holiday season! I know that he will creep into my thoughts now and again, but I know that will also pass with time. Ive decided to keep an appointment with a counsellor next week as well. Full steam ahead with MY life!!

 

 

Then you have a great deal to look forward to.

 

Those thoughts of MM will diminish with time, and when you are enjoying a new chapter in your life his face will begin to blur into obscurity.

 

Counselling will offer the opportunity to relieve yourself of the burden and address those issues of why you allowed yourself to become embroiled in such a clandestine business.

 

Lots of luck to you for a much healthier future!

[Cdngirl5279]

Thank you experiencethedevine! I'm truly hoping the thoughts will diminish with time, I find some days are harder than other days. I am taking it day by day at this point. I plan to fully embrace the counselling experience, and see where that takes me. In the fall I was dreading spending the holidays (mostly) alone without him, but now I can say that I am starting to get excited about them.

 

Thank you mount! I've honestly tried not to think about his email too much. I read it once and filed it away where I can't see it. It was "I can never meet you again, I have chosen to seek IC to work through some issues, having any relationship with you is disrespectful to my wife,she holds all the cards right now, i'm only in the house for the daughter, she doesn't want me there" etc etc etc.

 

I do have a mild concern that we may wind up working at the same school next year. However, I can't control that so I am doing my best to not think about it. I am only there part time anyways, so if it were to happen, it shouldn't be too terrible. It would be terrible if we were working in the same classroom. A very VERY tiny part of me, wanted to have a final resolution somehow so if that were to happen we could at least be cordial and we could focus on the kids education as opposed to our personal history. Something that i plan on bringing up during my appointment next week....or the week after.