c.powell Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 I am 55 and this was my 1st marriage, she is 46, her 2nd. After 1 year of marriage, she has asked for a divorce and it became final in July. Things started to go wrong in December'12 When she had a miscarriage(Her 1st time pregnant) so we moved from the west coast to the east coast to be by her folks. After starting a new job in March (I am disabled)she started to get more distant, and after a tooth extraction I had in late March, 45 days later she asked for the divorce! We lived in Fl. where they have 30 day no fault divorce, I moved back to Oregon and as I said in July it was all over, no reconciliation, although I asked. Where is the Love and Commitment today? We both are Christians, and I never hit or fooled around on her, and she says neither had she. But it still doesn't help, and now she has cut off all contact, not being there for me with the death of my Mother in September when I really needed comfort. I am left to send post cards telling her of the good times, is she just a narcissist? Any comments would be interesting, thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Shocked Suzie Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Without knowing all history, the fact that she finds it very simple to walk away, detach and is on her 2nd marriage...maybe she's just very unhappy within herself?? Maybe the loss has also effected her. If she is not giving you the opportunity to support her or help her and has totally cut you off, then I'd advise you to focus on yourself. I'm sure she is fully aware of your feelings...it seems that she has little thought of yours. All the best SS x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Steen719 Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 I am 55 and this was my 1st marriage, she is 46, her 2nd. After 1 year of marriage, she has asked for a divorce and it became final in July. Things started to go wrong in December'12 When she had a miscarriage(Her 1st time pregnant) so we moved from the west coast to the east coast to be by her folks. After starting a new job in March (I am disabled)she started to get more distant, and after a tooth extraction I had in late March, 45 days later she asked for the divorce! We lived in Fl. where they have 30 day no fault divorce, I moved back to Oregon and as I said in July it was all over, no reconciliation, although I asked. Where is the Love and Commitment today? We both are Christians, and I never hit or fooled around on her, and she says neither had she. But it still doesn't help, and now she has cut off all contact, not being there for me with the death of my Mother in September when I really needed comfort. I am left to send post cards telling her of the good times, is she just a narcissist? Any comments would be interesting, thanks Years ago, my father told me that when you look at a marriage, you shouldn't look at what doesn't happen. It's not good enough to say what doesn't happen - he doesn't hit me, he doesn't cheat, etc. He said it should be about what he does for you and you do for him. Very smart man, in general, but on the spot with this. (I should have taken more stock in what he said) Maybe you can find someone who you have a more common ground with in terms of commitment, etc. and find happiness with her. It's hard to let it go, but sometimes you just have to. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author c.powell Posted November 10, 2013 Author Share Posted November 10, 2013 I helped her with her job to get ahead as I retired from that type of work, and it helped her become successful. After the miscarriage and moving, I again helped her in finding a good job that she liked, moved near her folks that she had been astranged from due to her 1st marriage where she had to hide out from him and her folks in fear of his retaliation. I had just started doing something I enjoyed(poetry reading and writing) and she also included voice training as a second vocation, and I helped her increase her talents, although she took that as too harsh and critical, and acted like some of my students have, not making the bridge to the next level, and misunderstanding the lessons. And the tooth extration took me 8 weeks to get past, after years of a sore situation that I always kept to myself(the pain) and still had the temporary on when she asked for the divorce. I tried to take her to church, but only went once, and visited her folks on a regular basis, which she really enjoyed.So, I did what I could, and she just found that now that she was comfortable in her job, a place near her folks, she no longer needed me to be involved with her and dumped me! I of course was hurt and saddened. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 With what you have posted it sounds like you were a rebound or a filler relationship till she healed and now she has moved passed it she has thrown the marriage out... Sorry dude.. it sounds like you should stop sending those postcards and move on from her. Every postcard you send that she doesn't acknowledge or respond to is your answer.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 With what you have posted it sounds like you were a rebound or a filler relationship till she healed and now she has moved passed it she has thrown the marriage out... Sorry dude.. it sounds like you should stop sending those postcards and move on from her. Every postcard you send that she doesn't acknowledge or respond to is your answer.... Yes it does sound like she married you for the wrong reasons. My guess though, is that it had to do with her biological clock. Either way, when she realized whatever it was that she was expecting could not happen she was not happy with everything else. There is not much that can repair these kinds of issues. The only consolation that I can give you is that the separation came about after only one year and not 10. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts