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no one has been able to help me.....


LadyinRed007

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I have a dilemma. There's this guy, Bob, I used to like him but nothing ever came of it. Then I dated this other guy and was extremely hurt. After a year, Bob asked me out on a date, I accepted, then later backed out b/c I was scared. That was in July. This October/November he kissed a friend of mine, Sarah, but didn't date her and then dated my best friend, Kelly. It only last a couple of weeks. She told me all about it and said that he treated her like a piece of meat. They're no longer on speaking terms. Bob and I have gotten closer since then, and I came to find out that he had a crush on me for the past year. He thinks the world of me, thinks I'm a goddess, who is beautiful and sings like an angel. We've been on several dates and I love hanging out with him and I do like him. We've talked about his past mistakes and he admits them. He's treated me better than he ever treated them and I can tell that he is totally into me. But am I wrong? I'm a logical type person, so I tend to think that he'll end up treating me like he did them. I've already told him that I don't want a serious relationship; I'm just dating around right now. He's fine with that; he just wants to spend time w/ me. Age difference isn't that much, I'm 21 and he's 20, but he seems slightly immature...I'm just totally at odds about what to do, should I continue seeing him or not?

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Hi

 

Nobody here can *tell* you whether you should continue dating him or not/what you should do. That's totally up to you.

 

If you're just casually dating and not looking for a relationship, and Bob's aware of this and accepts this......and he continues treating you well, what is there to question? Sounds like things are good. Don't hold his past against him......all that matters is that he treats you good. Should he 'change', cross that bridge when you get to it. If you're only casually dating, what's the big deal?

 

Laurynn

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If you feel you would like to see him again, by all means do so.

 

The way he treats you is more up to what you will put up than with any action he can take. The excellent system of Express and surface highways as well as buses, trains, trams, subways, monorails and other forms of mass transportion makes it very easy to get away from a butthole if he starts treating you badly...or like a "piece of meat" as you say he has treated your girlfriend in the past.

 

Maybe you are the one he will treat well. People in general only seem to dish out what they can get away with.

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generally, men at the age of twenty think with their penis. Personally, i only date much older men. My last boyfriend was 25, and he still likes to hang out at teen clubs, and frats, go figure!

 

If this guy has been with your friends before, that is definitley a no, no. My guess is, he's trying to sleep with you and when he does, he'll get sick of you and dump you. Men who are 20 have short attention spans...he'll lose interest quick! I dont think he's thinking of having a beautiful, loving relationship with you, he wants to hang with his buddies.

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Dating and having fun with this guy is one thing, but if you want an serious relationship, he may be able to provide that for you in the future, but right now it sound like the male bee, going from flower to flower. Even though he is treating you nicely, I can imagine that you are wondering why are you different from your friends, whom he also dated and wasn't all that great with.

 

Tony is correct that people get treated the way they tolerate, but even if a girl tolerates being treated like a piece of meat, that doesn't mean that a guy has to treat them like one. So you have to ask yourself, is he putting on a show until I give into him, or is he seriously interested in me and is thus reforming his past behavior?

 

You will have to watch his behavior over time to see if he is really sincere or not.

generally, men at the age of twenty think with their penis. Personally, i only date much older men. My last boyfriend was 25, and he still likes to hang out at teen clubs, and frats, go figure! If this guy has been with your friends before, that is definitley a no, no. My guess is, he's trying to sleep with you and when he does, he'll get sick of you and dump you. Men who are 20 have short attention spans...he'll lose interest quick! I dont think he's thinking of having a beautiful, loving relationship with you, he wants to hang with his buddies.
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