married, unhappy female , looking outside for comfort

[karenmac62]

dont know if this is the right forum but i'm going to post here. anyway, i'm a married woman who is in a dead relationship. so i've begun chatting with people online and put my profile on several web sites. i've emailed and chatted with several other men (some married) and am thinking of taking the next step of meeting one. has anyone been in this situation? i dont want to leave my hubby but he doesnt give me what i'm looking for emotionally. i've been honest with him and told him that if he doesnt that i will look elsewhere and his response was - go ahead. i dont want to leave for the kids sake and at this point if he doesnt want to give me emotional and love support then i am going to find it outside of our marriage. i guess i'm looking for advice and thoughts.

 

karen

[tattoomytoe]

have you at least spoken with your husband about the problems? does he know you are doing this?

 

unless you tell him i think it is terribly wrong what you are doing. Not to preach.

[indigo_moon]

If you're so unhappy and willing to skank around with other men (single or married) you meet on the internet, why don't you just be real and end your marriage. This crap of "staying for the kids" is just that, crap. Do you want your children growing up in a lie?.......growing up sensing/learning (kids are NOT stupid, they are very sharp and intuitive and pick up on vibes between parents) that your parents weren't happy, didn't show love, didn't show affection, didn't go out and do things as a couple - all that does is cause kids to grow up to be screwed up adults who have/are the cause of dysfunctional relationships/marriages.

 

Are you doing your children any favors by sleeping around and possibly contracting a life-altering non-curable disease like HIV? or Hepatitis B or C? These are all killlers..................and there's no form of protection (condom included) that will 100% protect against these. Is a roll in the sack worth the risk? You think men who are willing to have sex with a married woman (who might themselves be married) are going to be pillars of sexual health and always using protection and not having disease? These dudes would sleep with anything that had a vagina.

 

Is sleeping around going to be a lifelong behavior because if you're not willing to DO something about your issues, nothing will change.

 

I feel sorry for your husband and children. It's amazing how people justify their desire to skank around.

[Pocky]

Not leaving for the "kid's sake" could be a big mistake. What you will be teaching your children is that it's acceptable to remain in a loveless marriage. That it's normal to spend the rest of your life with a relationship that is mediocre and that passion, romance, and love isn't realistic. You in turn are damaging the expectations your children will have of their future relationships. Do you want your children to be in the same empty relationship you're in? Either commit yourself to making the relationship what you need or leave.

[fundamental]

If he told you "go ahead," then he must be already doing his own thing with someone else--giving someone else emotional support. If he was seeing someone else, signing up to dating sites, would you be upset?

 

fundamental

[kim_mc]

Hi Karen,

 

I am a new member and in a similar situation. I posted my story. The link is below.

 

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t53397/

[The_Analyzer]

Sounds like to me from your post you have already made up your mind and you're ready to let the cheating festivities begin. Have you really sat down with your hubby and told him how you feel? Maybe get into some marriage counseling if you both want it to work out, if not, then you need to first get a divorce before getting into another relationship with somone else. Good luck.