Monodare1 Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Hi there Just returned from dropping my little boy with the stbxw. I noticed she had dyed her hair back to the colour it was when we first met and had her lashed done etc etc. I'm presuming from that that she's either been out on the town or a date or something. This brings up the fear that she's moved on to possibly the next guy. Now, from my previous posts, I have mentioned that due to the way she was and the distance I lived from my family friends etc, I should be happy that we split up, and I don't feel any romantic feeling towards her, yet the thought that's she's out there and meeting other guys strangely doesn't sit with me well. Why am I bothered? Why do I have that weird twisting feeling in my gut about it. I shouldn't care, especially with the past 5 months she has out me through, but again, why? Link to post Share on other sites
Misadventure Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Because you have a caring heart and she is the mother of your child. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Monodare1 Posted November 10, 2013 Author Share Posted November 10, 2013 Could be, although I'm worried it may be more selfish than that, I'm afraid that I'm scared of her moving on first, then all that comes with that. Link to post Share on other sites
hexadous Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 Sounds like you still love her and agree with Misadventure post... I am also feel the same right now, struggling to get rid this kinda feeling left inside, the memories might can't be remove easily but what I can tell you is to focus on something else even is not easy but time to time it will come to a clear stages.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Monodare1 Posted November 11, 2013 Author Share Posted November 11, 2013 I can't say I love her as I was miserable myself before we broke up but stayed for the sake of my son until it became too awkward to stay. I just don't want to have to deal with a new guy interfering with the upbringing of my son yet, things still too raw. Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 Your fear might be a form of jealousy. At one time the two of you loved each her enough to marry have a child , only to have it fall apart. Could it be that you are afraid that she might find that happiness / togetherness that the two of you once shared, with some one else? That you wish that the two of you had not lost that feeling and then you would be able to share your life with your son on a daily basis. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Monodare1 Posted November 11, 2013 Author Share Posted November 11, 2013 Could be the case, I'm also aware that it will open a whole can of worms regarding my son as being his father I'm jealously protective of him and I don't want my rights as his father to be encroached upon or diminished in any way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Monodare1 Posted November 11, 2013 Author Share Posted November 11, 2013 That said, how do you deal emotionally if your ex meets someone else and there is a child involved? In the past, before meeting my wife, I was always the one introduced to a single mothers kids, I was never in the ex partners position. Now that I am, I'm not sure how to feel or how to respond. My little boy isn't even 3 yet, will he still view me as his father if another guy comes along? Link to post Share on other sites
hexadous Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Man, you just same like me still in love of ex, but the fact is we can't be together back again but the very problem is our child, I have daughter who only I left right now, My parent trow me out after divorce, I got no family members who support me. I also scared if my ex has somebody to replace me as a husband and worst as a father to my only daughter. So how I encounter this problem is I walk away from every inch of missarable life, Now I leave everything and migrate to another country atleast I feel "oh it's too far for me to get along with my daughter". My believe is one, TIME will heal everything, for me I will return to find my daughter but not so soon it killing me... Cheers up life only once, don't push too hard, we face the reality and do only facts. Link to post Share on other sites
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