kanga Posted December 18, 2004 Share Posted December 18, 2004 A few months ago my friend and I were walking down the street, holding hands. Someone we walked by commented, "what a cute couple." He said, "Aww. He called us a couple. (pause) Are we a couple?" Me: (smiling, uncertain how to respond without looking dumb) "Nooo." Him: "Right. We're not a couple." Immediately after saying that I wanted to build a time machine and go back to change my response. But there wasn't anything nearby to make said time machine happen. Did I do damage? I've read the series of posts about girls who make it clear they want to be only friends. I want to make sure I'm sending the opposite signals. We're still quite friendly, chatty, spending lots of time together, etc. Things are definitely going well. But I tend to do things like this (the above anecdote) and I fear I could give off that you're-my-best-friend kind-of vibe. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted December 18, 2004 Share Posted December 18, 2004 I must be "slow" tonight, are you saying that you do actually want to be in a relationship with him and feel bad because you said "Noooooooooo"??!! If so just talk to him about it, tell him you were taken by suprise and that you wouldn't mind being in a relationship with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kanga Posted December 19, 2004 Author Share Posted December 19, 2004 yes, i was taken aback. i was not sure how to respond. i probably should've said something like, "i'm not sure. but it would be if we are." or something similar. but i'm a dumb girl sometimes. that incident happened soooo long ago. i don't know if i can bring it up now. oh, also when we went out for the first time, at dinner, i said something like, "yeah, i like being single and don't want to be involved with any guys right now." i said that a long, long time ago. in like -- august, i think. again, i was a stupid girl. like i said, i tend to say dumb things. i need to stop doing that. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted December 19, 2004 Share Posted December 19, 2004 Does he act like he is still really interested in you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kanga Posted December 19, 2004 Author Share Posted December 19, 2004 i'm not certain what things are indicators of interest or indictators of being my friend. but ... we talk or IM at least every other day, sometimes each day. we see each other about once a week. he has given me gifts -- sometimes just little ones, a big one for my birthday. hmm...what else ... i'm not thinking of anything else in particular right now. i think he is still showing interest. i just worry that i'm coming off too much as a friend and not enough as a possible more than friend. in the past few weeks, i've been super aware of doing little things -- like calling him up to wish him luck before a job interview, offering to help him out with things, saying thank you and "i hope you had fun too" more often, practicing positive body language (legs pointing toward him when sitting near each other), etc. i worry also because he told me a few weeks ago that i only pay attention to him when i'm bored at work (we talk on the phone or IM) or when we're tipsy. i don't think that's true. but if that's what he's thinking, clearly i need to make sure i'm not sending bad signs. right? Link to post Share on other sites
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