Jealous Men Who Degrade Women

[truth_seeker]

Curious to get thoughts on this...

 

Twice this happened to me over the last 6 months. Met a girl, there was mutual interest, only to have a guy, who I barely know or don't know at all, approach me and tell me horrible things about each woman.

 

What do these "men" think they are accomplishing with these tactics?

 

One guy told me that this girl was two-faced, a liar, has a rep for sleeping around. Another guy told me this other girl was a whore and he had her.

 

Both claims did effect my thinking (where there's smoke there is fire, no?) but what kind of "man" degrades a woman thinking he's helping himself? If I like a girl and sense she might be into another guy, I won't tell the guy something nasty about her to scare him off.

 

Would you tell the woman what these guys said about them?

[ConstantVoyager]

I'd tell the girl, and I'd ignore what the guy had said.

 

Seriously, form your own opinion of these women, don't base it on second hand rubbish from some douche.

[d0nnivain]

I can't blame you for the smoke / fire thoughts but I would take the comments with a grain of salt. These angry jealous men may be of the mindset that any woman who sleeps with anybody other than them is a slut.

 

 

I would tell the woman in question what these men said to you. She had a right to know she's being slandered.

 

 

The fact that this happened to you twice troubles me. What kind of women are you picking that they come with this kind of baggage? Take a long hard look at yourself & your selection criteria to avoid this drama in the future.

[truth_seeker]

I can't blame you for the smoke / fire thoughts but I would take the comments with a grain of salt. These angry jealous men may be of the mindset that any woman who sleeps with anybody other than them is a slut.

 

 

I would tell the woman in question what these men said to you. She had a right to know she's being slandered.

 

 

The fact that this happened to you twice troubles me. What kind of women are you picking that they come with this kind of baggage? Take a long hard look at yourself & your selection criteria to avoid this drama in the future.

 

I told one woman she was being slandered but refused to repeat to her what exactly was said. I felt embarrassed to say those words out loud to her.

 

For whatever reason, I have this luck where I meet a woman, we flirt, things seem to go well, then out of nowhere some a-hole will size me up and start telling me things.

[gaius]

It's a lower form of cockblocking. They don't have the balls to take the woman right out from underneath you so they try to smear her rep to you, in hopes you'll get scared off.

[PJM9]

Another guy told me this other girl was a whore and he had her.

That would make him just as responsible as her. I believe it takes two to make it happen, not one; two consenting adults.

 

Both claims did effect my thinking (where there's smoke there is fire, no?) but what kind of "man" degrades a woman thinking he's helping himself? If I like a girl and sense she might be into another guy, I won't tell the guy something nasty about her to scare him off.

You're right. It's not right to slandered a woman that way, esp if the man really had her. If I was dating a girl and she was into another guy, I would take it that she isn't into me too much and leave.

 

Would you tell the woman what these guys said about them?

I think you can inform her.

[KathyM]

My sister experienced this when she was doing online dating and meetup groups, except they weren't slandering her, they were slandering any guy that showed an interest in her, so that she would reject the other guy. As another poster said, take what is said with a grain of salt. It was likely said with poor motives, and may be only a half truth or not the truth at all.

[truth_seeker]

It's a lower form of cockblocking. They don't have the balls to take the woman right out from underneath you so they try to smear her rep to you, in hopes you'll get scared off.

 

One guy it was an act of desperation. The other was just plain creepy. I never met this guy in my life and he came right up to me and said she was a whore and he had her. Who does that?

[truth_seeker]

 

You're right. It's not right to slandered a woman that way, esp if the man really had her. If I was dating a girl and she was into another guy, I would take it that she isn't into me too much and leave.

 

I think you can inform her.

 

1) If I talk trash about her it only makes me look like a d-ck. It's one of those suck it up type deals; the girl likes someone else... deal with it. Don't act like a b-tch.

 

2) I did inform both but would not go into detail. I'm sure both were embarrassed.

[2sunny]

Tell others to mind their own business.

[PJM9]

The other was just plain creepy. I never met this guy in my life and he came right up to me and said she was a whore and he had her. Who does that?

A real insecure, hypocritical punk with this condition:

Madonna/Whore Complex: Love without Sex; Sex without Love

 

The only reason I'm selective of what woman I'm dating isn't because of the ''Oh she has to be pure'' double standard but rather because I'm only into long term relationships; I've only been in 3 relationships, nothing else and look forward to forming a family one day. I prefer one that is similar to me. Still, I can't think of a time I've called a woman a bad word other than when my last gf cheated on me and not just once (I learned through a hidden message that she did in my house too while I was working). I was very angry at that moment. Needless to say, I didn't really inform others that she cheated. She was the person I was angry with (why should I include others??) and after flipping out, I told her to get lost.

Edited November 11, 2013 by PJM9

[truth_seeker]

A real insecure, hypocritical punk with this condition:

Madonna/Whore Complex: Love without Sex; Sex without Love

 

The only reason I'm selective of what woman I'm dating isn't because of the ''Oh she has to be pure'' double standard but rather because I'm only into long term relationships; I've only been in 3 relationships, nothing else and look forward to forming a family one day. I prefer one that is similar to me. Still, I can't think of a time I've called a woman a bad word other than when my last gf cheated on me and not just once (I learned through a hidden message that she did in my house too while I was working). I was very angry at that moment. Needless to say, I didn't really inform others that she cheated. She was the person I was angry with (why should I include others??) and after flipping out, I told her to get lost.

 

How does the Madonna/Whore Complex - from it's definition - apply to this creep?

 

Insecure I agree with. Just amazes me how women will give scum men like this a chance.

[PJM9]

How does the Madonna/Whore Complex - from it's definition - apply to this creep?

I've seen 2 of those creeps that have gone to the extreme of going after a Christian virgin woman when they wanted to get married while insulting the women he slept with in his wild youth to his friends and telling who is wife material.:sick:

Insecure I agree with. Just amazes me how women will give scum men like this a chance.

Generally what they have in return is either dysfunctional women or naive ones that don't notice their bs. If they tried that on an educated one that knows exactly what she wants, he would be dump to in the curb in seconds.

[truth_seeker]

These women are not virginal types One of them I got to know and eventually walked away from. The other I am still interested in and am trying to brush aside the creep's comments. I would like to get to know her better and judge her for myself.

[gaius]

One guy it was an act of desperation. The other was just plain creepy. I never met this guy in my life and he came right up to me and said she was a whore and he had her. Who does that?

Maybe he knows her and wants her or something. I like ruining other guys fun as much as the next guy but I usually wouldn't go that far out of my way to do it.

[MrCastle]

I am brutally honest and if a guy came up to me and asked me what I thought of a particular girl that I know, or had experience with, I wouldn't hesitate to give him a sound warning.

 

I would never willingly offer that information without being asked, unless I thought the girl was taking this guy on a serious ride, then I would try to break the news to him in a very pc way.

[crederer]

I can understand how this might cause you to do a rethink. It's only natural. I would have asked the guy a few questions to determine if he was just a douche rocket or a legit guy.

 

Some guys think every girl that isn't a virgin is a slut. Some guys may hook up with a girl then later be rejected and therefore, in their minds "she gets around", when in reality they were just jealous that the girl didn't want them.

 

Or, they could be telling the truth, I dunno.

 

Are you in a small town? Seems strange for this to happen multiple times.

[ascendotum]

Both claims did effect my thinking (where there's smoke there is fire, no?) but what kind of "man" degrades a woman thinking he's helping himself? If I like a girl and sense she might be into another guy, I won't tell the guy something nasty about her to scare him off.

 

Would you tell the woman what these guys said about them?

 

I don't think these guys are out to scare you off so they can have her. I have a feeling its more along the lines, that these guys might have really fancied her but she knocked them back, or else maybe she slept with them once but didnt want to have a relationship while they did, something along those lines where they perceive they have been done wrong by her and what to get back at her in some way. I think its motivated more out of revenge than doing you a big favor. Maybe there is fire with the smoke..hard to know. Its a bit weird you got it twice in a row.

 

If I wanted a relationship with the woman then I would mention it to her. I would expect her to deny it all, but she deserves to know + she could easily be able to legitimately explain why this guy is out to sabotage her.

[PJM9]

Some guys think every girl that isn't a virgin is a slut.

Not me. However, my last relationship was with a woman with a wild past who claimed to have changed. She ended up cheating on me. I feel that was my fault for not paying attention and well my own mother didn't like her (apparently she saw something I didn't at the time). So much for trying to be accepting and very trusting.

 

Most preferable, I think a woman in her early 20's (I'm 24) that's been in several long term relationships, knows what she wants and has a healthy view on sex and intimacy would be alright for me. I honestly want to have a family in the near future and hope the next girl is the right one. Hopefully I meet my 4th and my number stays there.

 

I don't really see what's the thrill of looking for virgin women when you're not one yourself. It's really a lot of work and she might not be able to distinguish love from attachment.

Edited November 12, 2013 by PJM9

[truth_seeker]

I don't think these guys are out to scare you off so they can have her. I have a feeling its more along the lines, that these guys might have really fancied her but she knocked them back, or else maybe she slept with them once but didnt want to have a relationship while they did, something along those lines where they perceive they have been done wrong by her and what to get back at her in some way. I think its motivated more out of revenge than doing you a big favor. Maybe there is fire with the smoke..hard to know. Its a bit weird you got it twice in a row.

 

If I wanted a relationship with the woman then I would mention it to her. I would expect her to deny it all, but she deserves to know + she could easily be able to legitimately explain why this guy is out to sabotage her.

 

The way I see it, they both saw me as a threat and wanted to get inside my head hoping I would back off the girl they like. I thought, maybe, the second girl was in on it... but after what the guy said about her, that would be very strange.

 

I would feel uncomfortable telling a woman, "you know, this guy called you a whore, and told me how he f-cks you." I think telling her he said something degrading and despicable is more appropriate.

[aussietigerwolf]

I don't think these guys are out to scare you off so they can have her. I have a feeling its more along the lines, that these guys might have really fancied her but she knocked them back, or else maybe she slept with them once but didnt want to have a relationship while they did, something along those lines where they perceive they have been done wrong by her and what to get back at her in some way. I think its motivated more out of revenge than doing you a big favor. Maybe there is fire with the smoke..hard to know. Its a bit weird you got it twice in a row.

 

If I wanted a relationship with the woman then I would mention it to her. I would expect her to deny it all, but she deserves to know + she could easily be able to legitimately explain why this guy is out to sabotage her.

 

I had the same happen to me once... I was dating this guy who I ended it with because the red flags were becoming scary (and I mean scary in a violent way). anyway he found out I was dating someone new through fb and decided to do that trick but my boyfriend told me and asked me all these questions. I told him the truth including why I had stopped seeing that guy and after that he said the guy was a douche bag.

 

so not always is there fire where there's smoke, sometimes just scary people.

[Kate9292]

Curious to get thoughts on this...

 

Twice this happened to me over the last 6 months. Met a girl, there was mutual interest, only to have a guy, who I barely know or don't know at all, approach me and tell me horrible things about each woman.

 

What do these "men" think they are accomplishing with these tactics?

 

One guy told me that this girl was two-faced, a liar, has a rep for sleeping around. Another guy told me this other girl was a whore and he had her.

 

Both claims did effect my thinking (where there's smoke there is fire, no?) but what kind of "man" degrades a woman thinking he's helping himself? If I like a girl and sense she might be into another guy, I won't tell the guy something nasty about her to scare him off.

 

Would you tell the woman what these guys said about them?

 

I dunno what they are thinking. This is immediate turnoff. If he said so about her, if we hooked up and it didn't work out, why wouldn't he say the same about me?

 

I'd probably tell degraded girl what that scumbag said.

[truth_seeker]

I dunno what they are thinking. This is immediate turnoff. If he said so about her, if we hooked up and it didn't work out, why wouldn't he say the same about me?

 

I'd probably tell degraded girl what that scumbag said.

 

It felt like they were threatened by me. The most recent guy approached me - never met him before - and told me the girl was a whore and he had slept with her. He didn't introduce himself, didn't say hello or anything. He saw me hanging out near her and just came over and told me these things.