Blueeyes_04 Posted December 19, 2004 Share Posted December 19, 2004 Hey Everyone!! I need some advice......please!! My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me almost a whole year ago. We didn't really speak civilly during the break-up and didn't speak very much at all!! This past month he has been calling me, MSN'ing me and text messaging (at 2am for coffee) me many times. I have no returned his phone calls because of many reasons, one of being...I thought he was just going to mess with my head again! He called just last week.....and left another message hoping that I would return his call at some point (he was being sincere) I finally called him back, we spoke for an hour or so and basically updated eachother on what was going on. He was beating around the bush and finally asked if i was seeing anyone? I am not.....and he continued to tell me that he wasn't either...had not found another person to have a great conversation wth...BLAH!BLAH!BLAH!! He asked me what I was up to on the weekend, but never asked me to hang out...which it sounded like he was going to do!. When we broke up, he indicated to me that he thought that my decision to be a fitness model/competitor was a bad one, that he didn;t like it at all!! Now...on the phone...he told me that I should be proud of what I did and accomplished...weird? Change of heart? I have no idea what to think? Is he trying to creep back in my life? Be friends? What do you guys think? The way I see it....if he was just being friendly...he would have gave up after 3 tries of no call back or response from me.... Am I being silly....or is this really odd??? Your opinion is needed ppl!! Thanks in advance Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Guy probably wants to be back with you. Where in Canada are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blueeyes_04 Posted December 20, 2004 Author Share Posted December 20, 2004 I am in BC! What makes you think he wants to get back with me? A guys opinion would be great!! The other interesting part now is that he has continued to block me from seeing when he is online. What the heck is that? My friends are telling me that he probably wants to make sure that if I want to talk, I will call, instead of asking online! Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Hmm, hard to say why. I just think he does. The IMing you for coffee in wee hours of morning, saying he is proud of you doing the fitness dealio, asking about if you are dating someone and saying he isn't, begging you to call him back when he calls...they seem to me like actions from a guy who has an interest in you again. He may just wanna be friends but I bet he wants more but is gauging your interest. Keep me updated on this dude's actions:) Link to post Share on other sites
XNemesisX Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Wow...almost a whole year later he comes calling again??? Yeah I'm with Weird...he wants you back. Has he not dated anyone during this period? Have you? Would you still want him back after all this time? Sounds like someone has had a change of heart...a very delayed reaction though!!! Link to post Share on other sites
finishedpartying Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 The guy wants you back but is absolutely scared ****less to say it because it will hurt him bad it you reject him. Think of it as you never dated the guy before and he is just some guy giving you compliments. He is very interested. I wish I were you and the decision was in my hands. It's all up to you now girlie. I am envious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blueeyes_04 Posted December 21, 2004 Author Share Posted December 21, 2004 Well...I am not going to lie that I am not really scared myself!! He would have to jump over hell or high water to convince me that I should give him another chance. Why should I be the one to assume that he wants me back. I should wait for him to make an effort should I not? For all I know...I could be wrong! To answer 2 previous comments....we both have dated ppl since we broke up. Nothing serious though.....he claims(when we spoke last); that he has not found anyone that he has had great conversation with or clicked with. We both were agreeing on the "all looks, no brains" scenario. Link to post Share on other sites
finishedpartying Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 Just take your time, I'd be scared to . I understand that completely. Just think about is it worth another try or not and go slow. No sex, I have made this major mistake before. Have fun with it, be patient (nerve shot and all), and see where it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blueeyes_04 Posted December 21, 2004 Author Share Posted December 21, 2004 My only problem now is what do I say to him? He has not indicated that he wants another chance!! Link to post Share on other sites
XNemesisX Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 I am very envious too!!! The situation you are in is what lots of us here on LS hope for so much! I guess just see if you two can hang out. You said he asked you what you were doing this weekend? If he is too shy/feels too awkward to say something first then you should! Help him out a bit..he's taking a big risk by even contacting you again. Help make things go a bit smoother by, maybe the next time he calls, suggest you meet up for coffee or dinner to "catch up" or something of that sort. Then just let things go naturally.... Definitely make it a point to see eachother in person again and hang out. I think that things will build from there. The more comfortable he gets around you again, the more comfortable he will feel with telling you he wants a reconciliation. wow...I am so happy for you to get this opportunity! If you don't mind me asking, were you the dumper or was he? I'm going to assume he was the dumper.... You go girl! Keep us posted on how things go! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blueeyes_04 Posted December 21, 2004 Author Share Posted December 21, 2004 He was the dumper!! He treated me like such crap when we broke up to...its going to be hard for me to really get close to him again....not sure if the trust can be rebuilt. The interesting part is that he has blocked me from MSN messenger. WHen he called me and we spoke, he unblocked me, now he blocked me again. What the heck is that? So for all I know....its just one big game with him! He played them before....so what is not to say he is not doing it now? I am thinking maybe I should just email him and be like....leave me alone or something to that effect. If he knows he is losing me; then maybe he will smarten up? Harsh? My problem is that why should I be the one to make suggestions to hang out. He has caused so much crap that he should be the one to make the real effort, swallow his pride and just do it!! Link to post Share on other sites
littlelaxer Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 hey Blueeyes_04 , I totally understand where u are commin from cause my ex bf is just about doing the same exact thing. He calls and somehow worms in ways to ask if im talkin to or seeing anyone and then lets me know that he is not seeing anyone and that he is just by himself!!! He came and saw me at work this weekend and all of these recent little actions have been driving me crazy cause he wont bring "us" up and im not about to bring it up. I believe he should cause i think that would help me to believe that he really is sorry for breaking up. He will go like a day talkin to me or seeing me(like somehow finding a way to see me) and then go a couple days with nothing. many of my friends believe that hes waiting to see what ill do next, like wanting me to make the next move or even try to bring "us" up so its easier on him. This whole thing has been driving me totally cause i dont knwo what his next move is, and im really scared that he just wasnts to be stupid friends when that is the last thing i want right now......But after talking to my friends and people on this site they all say hes puttin a little to much effort into to just being friends, and also not many people put that much effort into being friends with the ex. So i really dont know I suppose im close to being in the same confusing boat as u............ Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blueeyes_04 Posted December 21, 2004 Author Share Posted December 21, 2004 I think its crazy that they expect you to make the move.....if he broke it off...he should be the one to step up as then you will know that it is coming from his heart...and not a thought that was brough in by your questions and/or comments. I tried to get back with him on my own about 5 months after we broke up...so that should even be a reason for him to make the move. What makes him think that I would bother again? So for now....I do nothing.....its just not fair that I make all the effort all the time....He screwed up...so let him try to make mends! Only then should I respond..... Link to post Share on other sites
finishedpartying Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 Have you ever contacted him. Wait till he contacts you. THis lets him know you are indifferent to whether you talk to him or not. I know this feeling, you get a rush of emotions like Oh God what do I do. Lay back and let him pursue you, don't play his games. Link to post Share on other sites
littlelaxer Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 Im tryin to sit back and do nothing as well..... Maybe they expect us to do the work becuase they feel they have done their little effort and they expect u to do the rest. Uh NOO totally not its got take a lot more, and all of this has just confused me more! But anyways with my situation the ex has done all the contacting because i told him right after the break up that if he wanted to talk he should call me cause i wasnt callin him and i havent since that day (execpt to call him back, but that doesnt count to much i think). So im gonna sit back too and see what he does next......keep the update goin. A good friend of mine told me today that good things come to those who wait so i guess i just got to wait!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blueeyes_04 Posted December 22, 2004 Author Share Posted December 22, 2004 So now...get this! I sent him a quick email b/c a mutual friends of ours father died. I also said at the end of the email that I hope his final University exams went well!! HE HAS NOT EVEN RESPONDED and....he still has me blocked on MSN...I am getting really pissed off! I am actually thinking about emailed him and telling him just to leave me alone b/c even if he wants a friendship, this is not a friendship! Any ideas? guys? Link to post Share on other sites
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