Move on? or am I wrong?

[midge88]

So overall I am struggling with letting go of my ex.. should I move on or am I the one overreacting??

 

To start I am a straight female in my 20s. I moved in an apt with my straight female best friend. Out of no where she makes a move one day. Starts telling me she was developing feelings for me beyond just a friendship. Now I'm the type who is crazy enough to go along with anything harmless just bec. At first yea I thought no way but later I decided I'd give it a try... eventually I was having the same feelings for her.

 

We had a relationship for just a little over a year. To add stress to the situation, it was a secret relationship the whole time. I believe we only told a total of 2 other people about it. Aside from hating the secrecy of it, the relationship starting out as a good one. In fact, the best one I've had considering my past ones with guys. But next thing I know we are fighting more and talking less. We use to communicate about everything. Now its like everything goes in one ear and out the other. I had a breaking point, broke down and broke it off with her.

 

My problem is that we are still friends, living together sand both still have feelings. Except she can tell me she loves me but I don't feel convinced. I was always the one giving even in just a friendship but yet she can't do even the simplest of things for me like going me out around thre house. I feel trapped. Everything I do is on her terms, no I don't have a voice anymore. I don't even have a say over myself anymore. I changed into a person I don't like and I'm unhappy. Yet I can't hate her. I can't move on bec I keep going back to her.

 

Do I keep trying if the love is still there? Or is it just time to move on and let her remain and ex??.

[d0nnivain]

Are you two still living together? If so, change that sooner rather than later.

 

 

You don't have to hate her but you both need some time & space.

[midge88]

The only problem with the living situation is that we agreed to split the mortgage and leaving would be screwing her over financially. I'm not "locked" into a contract and forced to stay, but even if I hated her I'd never dump all financially responsibility on her without worrying out something first. ..

 

We have talked about me moving out tho. I felt we needed space too. But she just asked me not to go.

 

That's fine, I still love her as a best friend but I just want the mind games to stop. I've changed for her, go out of my way to do for her, and I never get nothing in return as far as showing she cares. Show it or stop telling me you still love me.

 

But is it a waste of time to keep trying?