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FWB stood me up but says he will make it up to me


blueicephoenix77

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blueicephoenix77

OK, I have my fwb and things have been great, untill he stood me up twice, well the first time we didn't decided on a time and place so maybe that one doesn't count.

 

So, the second time he called to let me know he was running late (he was coming back from out of town) and he would call once he got in town, well it didn't happen.

 

Then the next morning at 6:30 am he sends me a message saying he was sorry for not calling but it was so late and freaking cold by the time he got back.

(It was true, even I was having second thoughts about seeing him and I knew he wasn't gonna be in town until at least 1 am) that he went to bed but he promised to make up for lost time.

 

I know in this type of relationships, there are things that don't apply here because we are not a couple, so if he says he is gonna make up for lost time should i let it go until he calls or texts? (I certainly do not want to be stood up again) or can i just call him and see if we set up something?

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If he was your BF, you could call & find out what happened. But he's not so let it go. If you can't let it go, recognize that you may have broken the cardinal rule of FWBs & now your emotions are involved. If that is the case, I'd tell the guy so that in the highly unlikely event his feelings changed to, you can have an actual relationship. Or so that you can break it off before you get even more attached & as a result get hurt worse.

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I 'd like to hear more opinions on this one. I don't think expecting someone to show up when they make plans with you equals letting emotions take over. To me that's just about respect for my schedule.

 

What does everyone else think?

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My first thought is don't call him by the way. I think next time he tries to make a plan be hard to get. "I don't know. I have plans that night. Maybe next week." Make him wonder.

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I obviously don't know your entire story, but I feel like you shouldn't be focusing all of your energy on this guy. If you had more options you wouldn't care so much if he called or not, if he stood you up or not and you would by default be more unavailable and mysterious....you wouldn't have to pretend that you were.

 

If all you want is a FWB then go find another. If you have feelings for this guy and are becoming emotionally invested then that's another thing to deal with.

 

Sure, friends should respect each others schedules, but its a slippery slope when you have sex. Regular run of the mill textbook BFFs don't exchange saliva and do penis into vagina activities.

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It sounds like you find it to be a reasonable excuse. I agree that I would not like being stood up either, but maybe since he got in so late, he didn't want to call and didn't think it would be a big deal? I'd really just tell him to call you next time to at least let you know, I think as a friend he owes you that. And then if it happens again you can rethink the relationship.

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