Will the limbo ever end?

[littlejaz]

My STBXH is about as engaged in our divorce as he was in our marriage. We had our second court date last week and he got another continuance. Our next court date is now June 30, 2014. I filed March 6, 2012. We have no children and few assets, but we have a bunch of debt.

 

He refused to cooperate with his first attorney so he withdrew from the case and my STBXH wasted 2 months waiting for a court date to object to his attorney quitting, which was futile. Then waited until a week and a half before our 2nd court date to get another attorney, so the judge gave him another continuance. His new attorney told my attorney that he thought we would be able to settle this quickly but he has no idea what he signed up for.

 

Friday he (STBXH's new attorney) agreed to act as project manager to get the natural gas leak fixed on my husband's house (which is still rented as part of our temporary orders) because my STBXH can't seem to get it together and call a plumber. Truth is he doesn't want to pay for it and is probably hoping the tenant moves out since I get the rent to pay on our debt. I am worried about how long it will take him to wear down this guy and he withdraws from the case.

 

I wonder if this new attorney has figured out that my STBXH has already lied to him. He claims that he didn't know that he couldn't spend his retirement, which is marital property therefore half mine. He claims that his first attorney didn't tell him that even though it was in the original paperwork that he was served in March 2012, it was mentioned that he had threatened to invade his retirement in my application for temporary orders in March of 2012. In Oct 2012 when he half ass answered my discovery, he claimed that his retirement was 0 at the time of separation, 0 at the time I filed and $300 at that time, but he claimed an interest and right to my retirement. In Nov 2012, we filed 2 counts of contempt of court on him for taking the retirement money and for transferring ownership of marital property. Then in Feb 2013, during his deposition, my attorney asked him if he understood that the retirement money was marital property and he answered yes.

 

He spent over half of the money buying coins (he is a coin collector). Then typed up this ridiculous statement and had it notarized stating he was gifting his entire coin collection to his mother to pay her debts since her husband had recently passed away. And now he claims he didn't know that he did anything wrong. That is what years of 24/7 prescription pain meds will do to you.

 

Anyway, I am so frustrated because I am in financial limbo until I finally get a settlement and wonder if and when that might actually happen. Thanks for reading, just needed to vent.

Edited November 11, 2013 by littlejaz

[M30USA]

You think you are entitled to his money? That's why he's stalling. I would be too. You don't have children together. Why do you need to take his money?

[littlejaz]

Damn right I do, it is not his money, it is our money. I paid the majority of our bills so he had money to put into that retirement account for the two of us. So no I am not taking his money.

 

And it doesn't really explain why he thinks he should get 100% of the stock that came from my family. Or why he thinks I should pay 100% of OUR debt.

 

Amazing how when he was spending what I earned, it was our money but now when it comes to what we saved it is all his money.

 

You bet I am entitled to half of it to be used to pay his half of our debt.

 

By the way, he took zero responsibility for anything in this marriage. He left everything on my shoulders. When he pissed away his bill money, it was my problem to figure out how to pay his part of the bills.

 

I have worked throughout our entire marriage and he has not. So you might ought to think twice before making such comments.

Edited November 11, 2013 by littlejaz

[M30USA]

Damn right I do, it is not his money, it is our money. I paid the majority of our bills so he had money to put into that retirement account for the two of us. So no I am not taking his money.

 

And it doesn't really explain why he thinks he should get 100% of the stock that came from my family. Or why he thinks I should pay 100% of OUR debt.

 

Amazing how when he was spending what I earned, it was our money but now when it comes to what we saved it is all his money.

 

You bet I am entitled to half of it to be used to pay his half of our debt.

 

By the way, he took zero responsibility for anything in this marriage. He left everything on my shoulders. When he pissed away his bill money, it was my problem to figure out how to pay his part of the bills.

 

I have worked throughout our entire marriage and he has not. So you might ought to think twice before making such comments.

 

I paid a mortgage on my ex wife's house entirely for 4 years. I didn't get a cent back. She owned the home before we married. I guess that doesn't matter because I'm a guy, right? It's just expected of us.

 

If you have any sense if justice, merely take the exact amount of money back that you put in, but not a dime more. Don't "take him to the cleaners" just because you can, as a woman. To do that is to be on the same level as the animal kingdom.

Edited November 11, 2013 by M30USA

[littlejaz]

Where did that come from? I am actually asking for less than what I put in. As I said I worked more than he did, contributed more than he did and am just asking for 50/50. So where did you get taking him to the cleaners? He is the one trying to take it all. His first settlement proposal asked for all of our savings, half of my house, which I owned free and clear when we married, all of his house that he owned free and clear when we married, all of the marital property that we had acquired during the marriage except 3 items-my laptop, 2 TV trays and a wrought iron arbor, all of the gifts from my family and his family and he was generously willing to give me all the debt, of which a good deal of it went for home improvements on his house. So where am I being unfair?

 

If you got screwed in your divorce, I am sorry but you can't just assume that all women are out to "take him to the cleaners."

 

And I don't know where you get "just because you can, as a woman." If anyone is being taken to the cleaners, it is me. Or do you think he should come out on top just because he is a man regardless of what he put into it? Or is it that you don't think a mere woman can put more than her share into it?

 

Guess you only ASK for unbiased opinions rather than give them.

 

And to answer your original question - TO PAY HIS HALF OF OUR DEBT!!

Edited November 12, 2013 by littlejaz

[M30USA]

If that's all your asking for, that's good. I'm glad you're living by a good code of conduct rather than simply what you can get.

[littlejaz]

And all I am asking is that he do the same especially since he is the one who lied and cheated on me while I was working 12-14 hour days to support him after he pissed away his job.

 

I came here for a little support and instead I get treated as lousy as my STBXH treated me. Thanks a lot.

Edited November 12, 2013 by littlejaz

[M30USA]

And all I am asking is that he do the same especially since he is the one who lied and cheated on me while I was working 12-14 hour days to support him after he pissed away his job.

 

Unfortunately moral failures don't factor into divorce. This includes cheating and lying. Even lying (perjury) isn't punished in divorce court. My ex wife was proveably found to have lied in court and it was on record yet there was no penalty. She also was arrested for assaulting me yet she still got primary custody.

 

The only thing that judges factor in are prior legal precedents/statutes in your state, money, and--even though the law says otherwise--your gender (male or female). Your best chances come from you being female.

Edited November 12, 2013 by M30USA

[Misadventure]

Not everyone has the same situation and honestly if LJ is entitled to money she should get it if the judge deems it.

 

Personally, I invested in my husband and my marriage and I should be reimbursed. That doesn't make me a bad person, it makes me know my self worth, what I am entitled, what I deserve and that I need to pick up my life monetarily but he is going to have to h ave to have a hand in doing so since he was the breadwinner.

 

My situation may be different than LJ's and others... I understand some may have resentment towards people who get reimbursed for what they put in the marriage either emotionally, time wise or monetarily..but bottom line, this is a place we need to uplift the other not condemn. JMO

 

Editing: Luv ya guys, I know we all have our issues with things because of things that played out marriage/divorce wise.

Edited November 14, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[littlejaz]

Misadventure -

 

Love your signature about your dog - there is no better companion to ward off the loneliness. Women's best friend.

Wish you the best.

Edited November 14, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Personal attack redacted