Airport meeting stranger/ approaching people

[peonybloomer]

Hi all, curious if I could receive help here. Uh well, I'm not going to write my entire story unless someone wants it, because I put in way too much detail.

 

About almost last week, I was at the airport late at night (almost midnight) with my pops, going to pick up my mum. My pops goes in to try to ask a question. I walk a little behind to the side of my pops since I'm a shy and don't want to make eye contact with people.

 

But, unexpectedly, as I walk to stand side by side with my pops, I happened to make immediate eye contact with a person (who works there) who walked towards me. You know you usually sometimes make eye contact with someone and it lasts for a split of second and both people look away, but this lasted at least 2-3 seconds. This eye contact was definitely a gaze.

 

Anyways I was holding a bouquet of flower for my mum so I was thinking this dude was looking at the flowers but kept looking at me too. My pops had another guy answer his question for directions, because the man I had eye contact with kind of hesitated. He was going to answer but got interrupted by another worker. Though, he kept standing there for an unusual amount of time when the other guy was answering my pops question. Unfortunately i kept, err, gazing at him (don't judge lol) then looking away, looking back... ect, even when he walked away.

 

My pops had another question and he turned around and damn, I bet he saw me looking. Though why he would turn around when my pops already had a guy helping him is a question in itself. I believe he did look at me again.

There was another instance I gazed at him though i don't think he noticed cause I was sitting down and looked at him after he passed me.

I'm going to stop it short here because I don't want this to be long.

 

I have pretty bad eyesight so I'm not sure if I was so infatuated with this person. But I had an odd case of having my eyes wander to him. I never do this because I usually keep my head down or turn my head away to avoid looking at another man but in this time, a rare occurrence, this was not the case.

 

In a few months I'll have to go back to the airport, around the same time too, since my mum will have to go on a trip once again and my pops and I will have to pick her up at the night time. Which means there might be another occasion to see this man, though I'm truly not hoping on it. the chances are 0.000000000000000000000000001 percent. I'd wager the chances are lower than winning the lottery.

 

However! IF something like that were to happen, how could I, uh, talk with this man. For me it's bizarre to see regular people who can just so easily chat it up with some stranger and become their best friend in a snap. I've always struggled with this.

 

Can anyone give me tips for approaching a person? This advice would be helpful for any future events similar to the above case as well.

 

Thank you, anyone, for taking the time to read this.

Edited November 12, 2013 by peonybloomer

[d0nnivain]

To meet new people sometimes all you have to do as a start is smile & say hi. practice doing that.

[peonybloomer]

To meet new people sometimes all you have to do as a start is smile & say hi. practice doing that.

 

Yeah ... but that's pretty tough when you're shy. Not only that I'm always scared about what a person might think if I did that. I'm thinking in my head, the airport worker might think "wow why is this person saying hello to me, for what reason?", or that it might be awkward... though it appears he seemed to be a shy person so it wouldn't be that bad, in the case of approaching other shy people. Past events has caused this kind of fear for me.

[d0nnivain]

When you smile & say hello to someone, most people will simply assume you are being friendly. People don't over analyze smiles in casual chance encounters.

 

When I said practice, I meant it. Tomorrow say hi to any random person you encounter. Then make a mental note to yourself that the world didn't end nor did the person follow you home & start stalking you.

[peonybloomer]

When you smile & say hello to someone, most people will simply assume you are being friendly. People don't over analyze smiles in casual chance encounters.

 

When I said practice, I meant it. Tomorrow say hi to any random person you encounter. Then make a mental note to yourself that the world didn't end nor did the person follow you home & start stalking you.

 

Alright I heeded your advice. I was a little apprehensive at first but I knew I had to do it. Earlier, I was in a store and said hi and smiled to a woman, and she was quite happy. Indeed, it wasn't so bad like I thought it'd be. I also kept a smile on all throughout the day wherever I went lol. Smiling is great, don't have to have a huge grin but a pleasant smile is nice. Well, it's only the beginning, the baby steps. Tomorrow I'll do the same. Eventually I should hope to get used to it?

[d0nnivain]

Exactly. Baby steps. Spend some time getting used to people's positive reactions because you have smile.

 

 

Good for you!

[Targetlock]

Just keep practicing and work your way up to it, you got to learn to walk before you can run. As a quite shy guy, if ind this advice quite useful and have to try it out myself.

[string of letters]

I have pretty bad eyesight so I'm not sure if I was so infatuated with this person. But I had an odd case of having my eyes wander to him.

 

I find this second sentence.... very interesting. Could you explain what it means?

[peonybloomer]

I find this second sentence.... very interesting. Could you explain what it means?

 

I'll gladly explain, though it might be a little difficult for me to word it. I didn't have my glasses on so I have trouble looking from a far away distance, even if it's just a few feet away. Blurry. Obviously when a person is attracted to what they see, they are going to stare at he/she. My eyes and the guy's eyes "locked" immediately and stayed that way for a few seconds. In my case, even though I have bad eyesight somehow it was like a pulling feeling. Like it was more than just what a person saw, but it was some kind of mental or deep feeling too. (yeah might sound corny, but that's the only way I can explain it).

 

I never had that happen to me before, usually I don't look in someone's eyes, or it lasts for a split of second and I look away. This ... was pretty long eye contact.

 

And why my eyes wandered to him? Maybe my conscience knew I had some sort of attraction to him, trumping over the bad eyesight.

 

[string of letters]

OK, got it (I think!). The reason I asked is, while reading I thought it was interesting to try to figure out what you picture the relationship between your eyes, your visual processing center, your conscious decision making, and your unconscious to be... but I couldn't get very far and got dizzy. It's interesting the way you seem to be either distancing yourself from the occurrence or make it sound like something out of your control - I mean, in everyday speech, something like "I had an odd case of having my eyes wander...." would really stand out.

 

After all that, I think I should at least try to offer *some* kind of advice, and it's just that I think you'll have better luck outside of airports. And wear your glasses next time.

[peonybloomer]

The human brain is a weird object. We try to simplify it to understand things easier but odd things happen all the time, where no clear explanation can be made.

 

Anyways, in no way am I looking for friendship or love in airports LOL, wow I would never expect anything like that. but I do regret not wearing glasses. That is why I will get contacts soon. hate glasses, never liked them. Still, I feel an opportunity has been missed. But thanks man.

 

oh well maybe some day. Some day.