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HELP:wedding blues


sunshine0112

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Well, where do I begin? I am to be married on June the 1st and my wedding is turning to a complete disaster. My fiancee asked 2 of his cousins if their one year old daughters could be in it, without consulting me first..... i already had too many people and this added to the problem.... How can i break it to them gently????

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Hey, the more the merrier. You know, some rings can be pretty heavy. Small children are always a highlight of a wedding. They're pretty cute walking down the isle and you never know what they're going to do. You could have a dozen or more throwing out those flower pedals. It could end up being great!!!

 

You've got lots of time to use your imagination in finding out just how you'll use them...but let them all be a part of the wedding if it means a lot to them...and especially it if will cause you pain to omit them.

 

If you're going to toss anyone out of the wedding, it ought to be your fiance for putting you into this touchy situation. Hell, what do you need him for anyway!!!

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That was a crappy thing for your fiance to do without first consulting you! I would definitely not want 2 1-year olds in my wedding party.....you never know how they'll behave, it takes a lot of the focus off the ceremony and the 2 most important people IN the wedding..the bride and groom! Weddings are stressful enough as it is (particularly for the bride because she does way more worrying/planning than the groom does!).

 

What was the plan with these 2 little ones? Ring bearers?

 

Have you shared with your fiance, your feelings about this? You need to sit down with him NOW, and let him know that any decisions made regarding your wedding are made TOGETHER!!!

 

If it was me in your shoes, I'd sit fiance down and tell him how you feel, that you don't want these little ones in your wedding party.....that he's going to have to tell his cousin something like, "you've changed your mind about things and you want to keep things very SIMPLE"...... That's what I'd do. I've been to wedding were 2 and 3 yr olds (your fiance's cousin's kids are farrrrr too young to be in a wedding party) were ring bearers, etc.....and most of the time it was a disaster...the kids would freak out when the saw all the people sitting in the pews, they'd cry, scream, cause a real distraction....just not worth it.

 

And yes, I love kids! LOL

 

Laurynn

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You might as well start communicating to him what your real feelings are now, or you will be setting the pattern for hiding your resentments in the marriage, until they explode above the surface like a volcano.

 

So if this thing with the little kids bothers you, let him know now and let him take the heat for rethinking their involvement in the wedding. He can say that he was too quick in inviting them and let them know he did not consult with you and you had already made other plans.

 

The way you settle this will set the tone for the marriage as well. He will learn that such decsions are made jointly.

That was a crappy thing for your fiance to do without first consulting you! I would definitely not want 2 1-year olds in my wedding party.....you never know how they'll behave, it takes a lot of the focus off the ceremony and the 2 most important people IN the wedding..the bride and groom! Weddings are stressful enough as it is (particularly for the bride because she does way more worrying/planning than the groom does!). What was the plan with these 2 little ones? Ring bearers? Have you shared with your fiance, your feelings about this? You need to sit down with him NOW, and let him know that any decisions made regarding your wedding are made TOGETHER!!! If it was me in your shoes, I'd sit fiance down and tell him how you feel, that you don't want these little ones in your wedding party.....that he's going to have to tell his cousin something like, "you've changed your mind about things and you want to keep things very SIMPLE"...... That's what I'd do. I've been to wedding were 2 and 3 yr olds (your fiance's cousin's kids are farrrrr too young to be in a wedding party) were ring bearers, etc.....and most of the time it was a disaster...the kids would freak out when the saw all the people sitting in the pews, they'd cry, scream, cause a real distraction....just not worth it. And yes, I love kids! LOL Laurynn
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