MyFault69 Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 So its been five months almost since the breakup and today after weeks of feeling fine I went nuts again thinking about her wanting to contact her but only stopping of fears of unknown. Her birthday is next month around this time and I want to either send her flowers anymously to her workplace or a simple happy birthday text. Its been no contact two weeks after the breakup and I feel that my feelings of caring about her to show I still do care is stronger than any no response or rejection I may face from it. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Don't do it. She doesn't care if you care or you don't care. You'll be looking for a response and be set back if you don't get what you are looking for. And flowers are more likely to creep her out than make her happy anyway. Don't be that guy. No one likes that guy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MyFault69 Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 OKay flowers maybe too much but saying she doesnt care is kinda dramatic. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 OKay flowers maybe too much but saying she doesnt care is kinda dramatic. No it's not. She's not beating down your door to contact you is she? She hasn't said she wants you back has she? I guarantee you she is not thinking of you nearly as much or in the same way that you are thinking of her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Pretty.in.Pink Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 If you do reach out, just send a simple happy birthday text. No flowers! I see nothing wrong with acknowledging someone's birthday. If she doesn't respond, that will be a very useful nail in the coffin of hope that might help you move on. If she does follow up, great! Do what feels right for you. Obviously, I'm not a fan of blanket "no contact." If my boyfriend or I had gone that route, we wouldn't be back together. Link to post Share on other sites
strive Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Yup she wouldn't care one way or another. She might ever feel annoyed/irritated. Link to post Share on other sites
greenfairie Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Yeah, don't do it if you guys are on weird terms. My ex texted me on my birthday and I got really irritated. I wish he never sent me something even thought it was nice he thought of me but it just ended up making me CONFUSED. Link to post Share on other sites
Riou Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 If i am the dumper,i will send birthday texts because i truly care about them as a person still.That is if i know they are not hurting about it anymore.If i am the dumpee i don't do that.Why should you remember their birthday and show that if they don't want you in their life? Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I wouldn't bother if you're the dumpee. The ex might call you psycho or something, even if you aren't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MyFault69 Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 Sorry I forgot to put I am the dumpee. It ended cause I took her for granted and stopped trying so no matter what she thinks of me I still feel I couldnt live with myself If I didnt message her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MyFault69 Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 Greenfairie are you the dumpee or dumper? Why were you confused? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MyFault69 Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 Also by the way on my birthday in April she did alot for me getting me a birthday cake and taking me to a fancy hotel at a resort hours away. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Also by the way on my birthday in April she did alot for me getting me a birthday cake and taking me to a fancy hotel at a resort hours away. You've been broken up five months, meaning you were still going out in April. You aren't going out now, so what she did when you were going out is completely irrelevant. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
greenfairie Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Greenfairie are you the dumpee or dumper? Why were you confused? I broke up with him first, then we got back together but didn't label ourselves yet then he dumped me. I was confused because he knows I'm really hurt and it's way too soon for us to be in contact… it's like we've talked about this and I feel like he doesn't ever give me a chance to heal…. But once I met my new bf, I felt so healed and so good Link to post Share on other sites
Author MyFault69 Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 Since you dumped him first he may have dumped you when there was no label sensing you werent really commit and was gona break up with him again so he did it first. Link to post Share on other sites
MoooOinkBaaa Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Don't do it, birthdays are a great way to stick it to em! They wouldn't contact me on my birthday. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 You have to ask yourself if you are going to wish them happy birthday every year. Probably not, so just stop it now. It's unnecessary, and it really does make you look bad in her eyes. If I someone I dumped sent me a happy birthday, I would think it was kinda sad and feel uncomfortable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2fargone Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 She no longer wanted me in her life. So why wish her anything ? I will stay out of her life. That's my theory. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MyFault69 Posted November 13, 2013 Author Share Posted November 13, 2013 Yah but Im not sold on this no contact for the rest of our lives some people like to do. I cant think of her never being in my life at all ever. Is texting her ruining the no contact? Or is not texting her making it harder to ever reconnect again if I dont show I care enough to wish her well? what will flip the switch or make her wonder more about me? Wondering if she ever meant anything to me cause I didnt wish her well and if I moved on? Or I still care enough to remember her birthday? Link to post Share on other sites
2fargone Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Yah but Im not sold on this no contact for the rest of our lives some people like to do. I cant think of her never being in my life at all ever. Is texting her ruining the no contact? Or is not texting her making it harder to ever reconnect again if I dont show I care enough to wish her well? what will flip the switch or make her wonder more about me? Wondering if she ever meant anything to me cause I didnt wish her well and if I moved on? Or I still care enough to remember her birthday? It won't have any consequences in the long run if you don't txt her, either way. She might get mad for now, it will pass. Man up.... Link to post Share on other sites
lil hoodlum Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 My ex broke up with me nearly a year and a half ago. 4 months later I bought her a simple card and a Christian bracelet with a bible verse for her birthday. It was a nice gesture on my part. I thought no reason not to be polite and civil towards her. She thanked me. When my birthday rolled around some 3 months later, she told me 2 days after my Bday "sorry I was going to send you a text but I forgot." She didn't forget. Her moms Bday is the day before and her neices Bday is the same day as mine. I thought that was pretty lame. Her birthday was last month and I again pondered the same question. In the end, I decided not to say anything because I obviously didn't mean enough for her to acknowledge my Bday. I felt a little petty for acting like that as I do believe I am a better person than that. But I suppose you do have to draw a line somewhere. In the end, I really don't think our ex's really care if we acknowledge it or not. I doubt mine will think years later how I reached out to acknowledge her Bday with warm fuzzy feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Yah but Im not sold on this no contact for the rest of our lives some people like to do. I cant think of her never being in my life at all ever. Is texting her ruining the no contact? Or is not texting her making it harder to ever reconnect again if I dont show I care enough to wish her well? what will flip the switch or make her wonder more about me? Wondering if she ever meant anything to me cause I didnt wish her well and if I moved on? Or I still care enough to remember her birthday? Well, yes, texting would be breaking the no contact. And if she cares about reconnecting with you, she'll see you out. Wishing her a happy birthday has little to no upside (at best she'll send a short, polite thanks) and a lot of downside (she'll send nothing and you'll be heartbroken because you were hoping it'd lead to some communication). I sent my ex a birthday message after we broke up (it was about two months after the breakup and we had seen each other about 10 days before). She said "thanks" and then I responded to ask how she was celebrating and got nothing. Felt almost as bad as when we broke up initially. When my birthday came around eight months later (about six weeks after we resumed some communication), I got nothing. Wasn't expecting anything, but was a bit disappointed. So when her birthday came around again (we hadn't talked in about six weeks prior and I was healed by this point for a while) I didn't send her a thing. And I felt a hell of a lot better about it. What you don't seem to get is that if she wanted you in her life, she'd make the effort. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lil hoodlum Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Well, yes, texting would be breaking the no contact. And if she cares about reconnecting with you, she'll see you out. Wishing her a happy birthday has little to no upside (at best she'll send a short, polite thanks) and a lot of downside (she'll send nothing and you'll be heartbroken because you were hoping it'd lead to some communication). I sent my ex a birthday message after we broke up (it was about two months after the breakup and we had seen each other about 10 days before). She said "thanks" and then I responded to ask how she was celebrating and got nothing. Felt almost as bad as when we broke up initially. When my birthday came around eight months later (about six weeks after we resumed some communication), I got nothing. Wasn't expecting anything, but was a bit disappointed. So when her birthday came around again (we hadn't talked in about six weeks prior and I was healed by this point for a while) I didn't send her a thing. And I felt a hell of a lot better about it. What you don't seem to get is that if she wanted you in her life, she'd make the effort. Yep! Pretty much my story as well. You know we all pretty much would like to think that our ex's would treat us as we would treat them but in most cases THEY DON'T!!! Take it from mine and Simon Phoenix experience, and don't bother acknowledging. What are they going to do if you don't acknowledge their birthday, kick us to the curb? Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 I wouldn't even bother. I've never had a dumper wish me happy birthday. Link to post Share on other sites
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