Fwb Help

[Divinfeline]

Hey all! I am new to this forum and I was hoping if anyone could help.

This is in regards to FWB (friends with Benefits).

Well, I am 26, just recently broke with my Ex and very lonely. My best friend only friend here where I live also dumped me for her man. I've been delaing but it has been getting to me. In my life, I only had two partners. I thought about sleepinhg with ppl whom I'm attracted to but can never do so. I'm not sure if it is b/c I am actually venturing out to the unknown that scares me or what..but when I was with my bfs I just did not want to cheat.

Well, now that i am single and lonely, I figured, dating casually won't hurt. I spend alot of time being disciplined and anal abut somehow its not helping me out, at least emotionally. So, since its the new year, I decided to do something new, I started to work out to feel good, and now, i want to travel alittle more. Just let loose and have a good time.

Well, i have a friedn whom i've been friends with for about 8 years now. I met him in college. Apparently, he's been dropping hints through the yeasr that he wants to be with me. I'm not sure if it is only chemistry (sexual) but all i know is just that. Between him and I, there is definite chemistry. We try to suppress it but it's hard sometimes. After a few years of talking and talking and talking about it on the phone we fianlly did it. He also just recently got out of a long term relationship as well. About the same time as I. We are both however still sleeping with our Exs. We live about 3 hours away. Last wekend I came down to his town adn hung out with my other friends as well as him as well. That night he came on to me and I said okay. It was short but very weird. I kept on talking and I think it ruined the moment. I told him to finish up early. We try talking about it afterwards but had a hard time finding words to say. He went home and I fell alseep in my room. I woke up confused. I kept on monitoring my phone to see if he would call me to atl east talk about it. As it turns out, he woke up late the next day and had to run off to work. He called me but we never spoke about it.

I feel this weird attachment now. I never had before.

He's appears to be a sweet guy the years that I did know him. But I feel like he's not really trying his hardest to be attentive to my feelings. We spoke about doing it before we actually did it and it was all agreed upon. I will eventually talk to him but I'm not sure if this is what is suppose to happen?

All in all, I'm alittle confused. Do you think he has ever had real feelings for me? At least with that, he may be better to me; it's only been a day. Just want to have an idea.

What are the rules to this kind of stuff? I had asked a friend and she told me that I am just new to this and so, I will eventually get used to it.

I believe that the sex part will imporve, the first time was weird b/c of all of my questions but the chemistry has been there and hopefully remains. I want to continue it but do you think it is way to risky?

Thank you all so much for reading this. Whatever advice I could get will help at this point.

Thanks again!

[SoleMate]

Let's see:

 

* Poor quality sex

* No enjoyable conversation (and if you're like many women, snuggling in bed and talking before and after is one of the best parts)

* He doesn't care much about your feelings

* Your talking ruined sex (??!! not even sure how you would have sex with a new partner without talking. What were you saying, anyhow? )

* You're unsure about the whole thing

 

...I feel this weird attachment now...

Yes, that often happens. Just one more good reason not to jump into bed unless the man is right for you in many other ways already, and uses his ACTIONS to demonstrate that.

 

You can throw off some no-longer-useful notions, travel, work out, become more relaxed, and try new things, while still maintaining some of the scruples and inhibitions that have a protective function for your feelings. I recommend not getting into bed again with Mr. Short and Weird, and making sure that any future man you meet must demonstrate that he is willing and able to meetsome/most of your needs before you take this step again.

 

...a friend...told me that I am just new to this and so, I will eventually get used to it...

I hope not.