Question for Tony

[Dwayne]

Hey, Tony, I've got a question for you. I work in a retail outlet and I've got a crush on a girl who works up front as a cashier. I work in the electronics department so I don't get much of a chance to talk to her. I'm really attracted to her, I'm not sure how to ask her out. I'm worried about the thought that she might be seeing someone else, or just plain not interested . . . which wouldn't be a big deal but I would be afraid if she told some of our co-workers and it got around. Do you have any good advice for that? Thank you.

[Tony T]

First of all, this is a big forum with lots of people who enjoy giving advice. A lot of the advice is much better than mine or from perspectives I don't think of. You are best advised to seek the opinions of all who care to post and not just from me. I am not the ultimate authority on love...I have probably made more mistakes than most.

 

Now, to your situation. First of all, no matter what, your co-workers will find out. You sound a bit young so you may as well learn now...the workplace is a badplace to strike up a relationship. Whether it's successful or a failure, not only will everyone find out but there will be awkward moments and days when you have to face the co-worker after some conflict or a breakup, etc.

 

So just forget about your co-workers finding out. I recommend you go for this because this job doesn't sound like something you'll be doing forever. Your best bet is to catch her outside, before or after work, or during a lunch break. Strike up a conversation and get to know her a bit. You don't need to ask her out right off the bat. Ladies are really impressed when a guy takes the time to get to know them first...and, if they like the guy, it heightens their anticipation that he will ask her out eventually.

 

You could let her know you are going to grab a bite to eat after work...and see if she'd like to join you at a place nearby.

 

Me, I never had to think much about this. I always did the photo contest routine. I would find some local or national photo contest and then ask a lady if she would like to pose for me for my entry in the contest. It's very non-threatening, it flatters the hell out of them, they always say yes...they can even bring along their mom and dad...they get to know you better...you get their phone number...you get to take the copies of the pictures...and then you have your in right there. There are lots of contests to choose from...or you could just tell her you'd like to post them on your website if you have one. If you don't have a camera, borrow one from a friend.

 

But do ask her out, not at the cash register, but when you find her elsewhere in the store. And try to take some time to get to know her a bit before you ask her out.

 

Now, I hope you will wait and see what others have to say. There are lots of ideas on doing this I probably haven't thought of.

[Paulie]

Yeah, Tony probably does give the best advice on the forum...he probably hates hearing that, but too bad. :-)

 

He would much rather be seen as just another person who stops by here; which he is.

 

Now, as for your situation,

 

I sense a bit of fear of rejection. The only thing that I would add to Tony's post is that there's absolutely nothing worth making juicy rumors of by you being FRIENDLY. If you approach her on lunch brak or somthing, act COOL, and do it non-flirtaciously...just friendly, then if she's anything but friendly to you, then she's a b*tch.

 

Now, a few friendly conversations about absolutely WHATEVER (perhaps the two of you could get some little thing going where you privatly dislike/make fun of some fellow co-worker).

 

After a few friendly conversations, you'll be in a better position than you are in now.

 

Good luck,

 

Paulie

[Dwayne]

I apologize. I merely assumed that tony was the webmaster or site administrator. This was my first time here. I wanna thank both you and Tony for your advice. I appreciate it and I'll let you know what happens. Thanks Paulie and Tony!

 

Dwayne

Yeah, Tony probably does give the best advice on the forum...he probably hates hearing that, but too bad. :-) He would much rather be seen as just another person who stops by here; which he is. Now, as for your situation, I sense a bit of fear of rejection. The only thing that I would add to Tony's post is that there's absolutely nothing worth making juicy rumors of by you being FRIENDLY. If you approach her on lunch brak or somthing, act COOL, and do it non-flirtaciously...just friendly, then if she's anything but friendly to you, then she's a b*tch. Now, a few friendly conversations about absolutely WHATEVER (perhaps the two of you could get some little thing going where you privatly dislike/make fun of some fellow co-worker). After a few friendly conversations, you'll be in a better position than you are in now. Good luck, Paulie

[Tony T]

I have reviewed this site backwards and forwards, inside and out. I cannot detect any indication whatsoever that I could be the site webmaster or administrator. How do people get this impression? This is not the first time. Am I missing something? Is something happening here I don't see or know about?

 

Everything here indicates I am just another person who posts and, in fact, I have no affiliation with LoveShack other than being a regular visitor.

[Don]

Hey guy, my suggestion is start out slow. First talk with her about a movie that you're interested in seeing. Then in the conversation, ask if by the way she would be interested in coming along and seeing it with you too. If she says no, just figure it's her loss and tell her you're going to see it anyway. If she says yes, then you're in buisness.

 

Oh by the way, I don't suggest an X rated movie or something really violent.

 

Good Luck

Hey, Tony, I've got a question for you. I work in a retail outlet and I've got a crush on a girl who works up front as a cashier. I work in the electronics department so I don't get much of a chance to talk to her. I'm really attracted to her, I'm not sure how to ask her out. I'm worried about the thought that she might be seeing someone else, or just plain not interested . . . which wouldn't be a big deal but I would be afraid if she told some of our co-workers and it got around. Do you have any good advice for that? Thank you.

[Paulie]

I think it just has to do with the fact that you probably post here the most. First time visitors might initially think that you're somehow associated with the site, just based on the frequency of your posts.

 

I, however, know better...(you're a clown just like the rest of us!!)

[Rachel]

Actually, at first I thought you were a jerk. I guess because the very first time I read the response to a post someone had written, you were in one of your sarcastic moods.

 

However, I actually laugh now, and enjoy your sense of humor as well as your insight.

 

Well, webmaster, I think that the reason people think you are the WEBMASTER(I didnt' even know that was a word, did you? sounds pretty professional to me!), is that you post a lot.

 

I like most of your advice. However what you don't give a lot of advice about is how to take a more casual relationship to the "next" level.

 

What are your thoughts webmaster?

[Paulie]

If he knew the answer to that question, he'd have had relations with Salma Hayek by now!!

 

(Tony loves Salma Hayek)

[Rachel]

Bad Paulie! :-)