RoxStar Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Hey I am new here and I need some advice... I have a "friend with benefits" situation and I have been ok with that for the last two years. Its a complicated scenario (arent they all complicated) but we both have feelings for each other and neither of us really want a real relationship but this situation seems to work for us. Lately it just seems that this has turned a little more "relationshipy" and I dont mind it but I dont want to get used to it. To complicate things more we had a threesome this weekend... we dont have all out sex - just lots of kissing and some other stuff but no sex. Its something that he and I have done in the past and we have developed a mutual respect for our boundaries and pretty much only do it every couple of months and the last two times have been with the same girl. Well for some reason this time I dont know if its that I feel jealous or what but something isnt sitting right with me. I dont think its jealousy though because he was very all about me and we even talked about it after but I still feel weird. So I guess I am in a very odd place right now. He is not my boyfriend but he is really one of my best friends but I wouldnt have this relationship with any of my other guy friends and I have feelings for him and I actually love him. We dont say I love you and we dont talk every day on the phone but every other day. I just dont know what I feel weird about this time. He and I have gotten a lot closer over the last six months. We see each other usually every Friday and Saturday night. All of our friends know that we have this sexual relationship but arent together and everyone tells us we should be. He has more relationship issues then I do but we have both said that this will be all that there ever will be with us. I guess (after I have read this entry over) I am falling even more in love with him now. Maybe I am afraid of getting hurt because I have become more vulnerable. Our friends with benefits isnt all about sex either. We have sexual intercourse maybe once a month - if that but there is always lots of making out and other stuff that goes on. We spend the night together often and some nights there is nothing but good old cuddling either. In so many ways we act like this is a relationship but in so many ways this situation is nothing like a conventional relationship. I guess I am turning here because it would be great to get an anonymous opinion or two about some stuff. I think both he and I need each other to a degree and we really care about each other and neither of us is interested in seeking out someone else or seeking out a deeper committed relationship. What is my problem though that I am feeling so whacked out over today? I can not for the life of me figure it out! HELP... Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 IMO, a friends with benefits situation doesn't work when emotions come into play. Clearly you are feeling things for him - even expressed it as love. That means you fish or cut bait. You tell him it is all or nothing - and then stick to it. And btw, I have heard horror stories about 3somes. From what I have heard the only times it works, is if you are the guest star and not a member of the couple. Link to post Share on other sites
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