confused about Dr...

[strawberry]

ive been dating this man for a year. He is a doctor. He is moving away in about 6 mths. I love him, and want to go with him. Every time i bring up the subject of what we are going to do, he says he isnt sure, he is too busy with work.

 

Ive already told him that he needs to make a decision soon because i dont need to be heartbroken and waste the next six months to be disappointed. I know he loves me, and he says we should just wait till the time comes to see where we're at, but i dont think that is fair to me. What should i do?

[MegaB]

dump him.

[Laurynn]

Geez..you've been together for a year..that's a significant amount of time. He's moving away in 6 months but can't be bothered discussing your 'future'......something's up there.

 

That's rude. I'd be hurt too, if I was you. How much time does it take to sit down and discuss this? I mean....if his work is so time consuming that he can't take time to discuss this, can you imagine what being married to him/having kids with him one day would be like? You'd all take the backseat to his career.

 

Personally though, I think he's using his busy work schedule as an excuse.

 

If it was me, I'd tell him if he can't make the time to discuss your future, after spending a year together....that you see no point continuing the relationship...that he needs to be straight and get his freakin' priorities straight.

 

Laurynn (an RN who never ever liked doctors LOL)

[taughtmepatience]

BLaming work for not communicating with you is the biggest bunch of bull s***. He clearly does not know what he wants. And after one year, I'm not sure if he will ever know what he wants. Relationships that are one sided, in that one person does not display the same level of love and commitment as the other can be extremely frustrating. I wouldn't put all my faith in the fact that this a$$ hole will come around.

[Deejette]

Having been married to a doctor in the past, I can tell you that if he isn't making time for you now and isn't showing some commitment to the relationship, he won't have more time to devote to you later. In fact, being a doctor's wife means you thrive on neglect and the patients needs are more important than yours.

 

If you are willing to put yourself second in line, then wait for him. Personally, I would not wait for him to make up his mind. I would get on with my life and if he wants you back, he knows where to find you.

BLaming work for not communicating with you is the biggest bunch of bull s***. He clearly does not know what he wants. And after one year, I'm not sure if he will ever know what he wants. Relationships that are one sided, in that one person does not display the same level of love and commitment as the other can be extremely frustrating. I wouldn't put all my faith in the fact that this a$$ hole will come around.

[Hope]

do you really love this guy? does this guy really love you?

 

i think these are a couple of questions you need to be asking yourself.

 

sometimes people love the way they feel when they are with someone else and confuse that with actually loving the other person.

 

For example: Mike is eating some really good chicken and he says "i love this chicken." Now, let's consider this situation, does Mike really love THE chicken or does he just love the way chicken in general makes HIM feel? obviously Mike loves the way chicken makes him feel, if he really loved the chicken then he wouldn't eat it, insead he would take care of the chicken and try to bring it enjoyment.

 

do you get it? when you really love someone then you don't find yourself asking "what have you done for me lately?" instead you ask "what can i do for you?"

 

you need to figure out if you really love this guy and if he really loves you, i think after that a lot of things will be much clearer.

 

Good Luck.