Is a F***Buddy/FWB the same as a Mistress/Lover? & if not - Why not?

[Grecian2000]

If woman is good friends with a MM, no more no less. They chill, chat, joke and care for each other no more nor less, and in just the same way you would do your friend/mate.

 

They don't want to spend the rest of their lives with each other as they have our own lives which they actively get on with. Theyve both had their fair share of relationships outside the ones they are both in at the moment over the years of their lives and have raised their children, celebrate their grandchildren and have no intentions of leaving their partner/wife. They do all the usual things people in relationships/marriages do with the one exception - as mates/friends they sleep with each other regularly. They accept their situation for whatever it has become to them over the years of them knowing each other.

 

With no emotional angst, jealousy, or the arguments that usually occurs when one sleeping partner wants something more than the other... they just get on with enjoying each others company, whenever they can enjoy each others company.

 

I know all of this sounds to good to be true... but it does happen..

 

What I want to know is... does this scenario/relationship describe f***buddies/fwb's OR lovers/a MM and his mistress or are these terms in the final analysis just one & the same...?

[carhill]

With lack of emotional angst, jealousy, hurt feelings, missing one another, etc, etc, it sounds like the type of mutually satisfying relationship two compartmentalized people can successfully engage in. When with each other, there is only items in that box to touch, then the box gets put away and remains separate from all other interactions and/or relationships. If either of the people is a serial/multiple/poly, then this is even more likely. To me it sounds more like a serial ONS with elements of familiarity and polite discourse. More comfortable than casual sex with strangers but less involved than even friends, who do care about each other and do have disagreements. Thus, I don't believe any of the labels in the title are applicable, as I define them anyway.

 

IMO, the most valuable and valid 'label' is the one the couple, or two people, assigns themselves. After all, it's their relationship.

[MissBee]

A mistress to me implies some idea of a relationship and emotional attachment on the part of one or both, where it's more than casual sex.

 

I have been with taken guys twice. In one situation it was more of a relationship and that I would consider an affair, the other was FWBs because I didn't have feelings for him, didn't really share with him or see any kind of future with him and basically we mostly spoke casually and usually as a prelude to hooking up. In fact that may be called a booty call which is less than FWB, as we weren't truly friends.

[underwater2010]

To me F*** buddies imply two single people who happen to have sex.

 

When the two people are married/committed, then it is considered an affair and that is where the term mistress comes into play.

[whichwayisup]

FWB is between two single people. It's not the same as having an affair with a MM or MW. Comparing the two is apples and oranges.

[violet1]

Of course it's an affair, but there are different types of affairs. There are affairs strictly based on the physical aspects. I guess that would be considered an F buddy type of deal. With my MOM, we call each other secret lovers. Our affair is much more emotional than physical. We've said the ILY's so I guess it's considered a love affair. I don't know...he and I haven't really put a label on it.

 

Back to your original question, if there's no emotional attachment than your situation sounds more like an FWB. I don't think FWB, F*ck buddy have anything to do with being single. I think it's more of a description of what type of relationship it is. Yes, an affair is still a relationship IMO. It's just not a normal one.

Edited November 13, 2013 by violet1

[PutARingOnIt]

i wish people would learn the difference between a f**k buddy and a fwb. fb-you only talk when you want sex. fwb-you have sex but you also discuss your life and go out from time to time.

 

anyway, it is not the same. mistresses are usually with the mm for long term. fb/fwb, not so much.

[dichotomy]

I could never figure what to call what type of relationship they had - FWB? mistress, daddy figure? In any case she was single for along while, had other lovers come and go, he had other mistress/FWB's...and they enjoyed each other as the main pairing - while they move in and around with others.

 

What a mess.

[Eggplant]

and care for each other no more nor less, and in just the same way you would do your friend/mate.

In what way do you care for your friend/mate? Is a mate a casual alliance? Some of my friends, I care for as though they were my sisters, others are just superficial hello's... A deep friendship with a man could not avoid spilling over into romantic territory.