Why do I need to vent so much?

[SpiralOut]

I have a habit of venting about the rude things that others say to me. For some reason, I need someone to listen and to agree with me about how rude or annoying it was.

 

I don't like this. It makes me feel like I am dependent upon other people to make me feel better about something that shouldn't even be bothering me that badly anyway.

 

For example, I dealt with a hostile woman 3 months ago. I vented about it to a friend, but I still can't forget the incident. I feel the urge to recount it to more people to see what they think. But doing that won't help, because then I'll just want to complain about the next rude thing someone ELSE does.

 

Guess I'm just sick and tired of people who think they can talk to me however they hell they like. I don't know why, when given a choice between me or several other women, they choose ME to be hostile to. And most of the crap that I get is from women. Not ALL women give me problems; I belong to two women's groups where everyone likes me. Still, I feel safer talking to men since they are almost always nice to me (so long as I'm not dating them!!).

Edited November 13, 2013 by SpiralOut

[whichwayisup]

Maybe time to not let other people push your buttons so much that you react. Laugh it off and try not to think about it. The more you do and then complain it seems to fester and get worse.

 

Or, vent it out here instead of ranting to others about it.

[SerCay]

I know what you mean OP, I was like this..

 

I changed my ways by building (trying to build) slf esteem.

Still some days, I vent about a friend who tries to use me as a door mat or a jealousy act of a girl at uni or something, but I notice I now correct myself.

 

Try to teach yourself not to be vulnerable..read into how to create an energy of positivity and confidence in your personal space, so that people don't feel they can be rude to you. Helped for me anyway..

 

You'll be surprised how much it has to do with how you see yourself, and therefore present yourself to others..

It might be oversensitivity, inferiority complex, low self esteem among other things that cause you to see yourself (unconsciously) in a weaker position.

Edited November 13, 2013 by SerCay

[mea_M]

Spiral, Do you feel like a victim here? If so I'd say perhaps you have a victim mentality. I use to. I was a victim to an abusive spouse. I let myself be a victim. Not until I realized that his behavior was highly unacceptable did I see that. Victim no more once I said enough. Time to stand my ground and be free to be me. I'm not sure this helped, hope it did.

 

Mea:)

[devilish innocent]

I've been dealing with the same issue. I notice it's worse for me when it's that time of the month or when I haven't been sleeping well. So I think some of it is just a matter of being moody and needing to find other ways to be happier.

 

I also think it's a matter of learning how to feel secure in yourself. If we did, it wouldn't matter what other people thought. But there's a part of you that's vulnerable to the attacks. When you vent to other people, you get reassurance that you're better than the person who insulted you. When you really should be able to offer yourself that reassurance. Like somebody else said, it's a matter of building up your self-esteem.