Naive Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 I am sure everyone has heard the phrase, "I forgave him/her because I love him/her". I really do not think this is possible. In my opinion the one person that is hard to forgive when they have deceived you is someone who you love. It hurts too much to know that the person you love so deeply has caused you pain. In the other hand when it's someone you are just used to having in your life or are infatuated with, it's easier to forgive because your lust and/or obsession (or whatever it's called) is too big to let you care. Sure you might be hurt but you will go through the pain as long as they are with you. Does anyone else think like this or am I the only one? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 what exactly is your question or point here? I'm a little confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 it is hard to forgive those you love whe they let you down but if you truly love then forgiveness should be something you can do. Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 I think that when you have built a life together, it is possible. When you have a home, children, families, friends in common, your love becomes more unconditional, and forgiveness is easier than throwing all of this away to start new. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naive Posted December 21, 2004 Author Share Posted December 21, 2004 Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama I think that when you have built a life together, it is possible. When you have a home, children, families, friends in common, your love becomes more unconditional, and forgiveness is easier than throwing all of this away to start new. But does it not hurt more because you already have all of this established? Does it not make you feel worse that not even because you have all of this together they still managed to deceive you? I think that's exactly what would not let me forgive. It would be too hard to get such a low blow from someone I love and have shared so many things with. Link to post Share on other sites
jangle04 Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 Wow this is a tough question I'm debating myself. My wife left me for another man and it now hasn't been that long and he has left her to return to his wife. We have two kids together and I keep them. She put me through total hell but for some reason I still want her back and be able to work it out. It's hard to put all the good memories and times out of my head and hard to comprehend that they will never be again, but I just know I can't do it and have to fight the urge to mend as much as I want. I'll never be able to get over the bad memories and the pain I suffered and that is why. Love is blind and it's not worth the pain sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Chris_T. Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Originally posted by Weird it is hard to forgive those you love whe they let you down but if you truly love then forgiveness should be something you can do. I agree. Link to post Share on other sites
Clancy Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 You can forgive I suppose in order to let life go on relationship. But trust me,. it's been about 15 years and I still think about her affair evry single F****day. The pain is gone okay, and our kids are grown now and we have a pretty happy family with no major dysfunctions. But that's not really forgiveness is it? Link to post Share on other sites
swtbonita Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 I think Forgiveness depends on the event. if its a one time thing and that person realizes it was a mistake and learned something from it. I think you can forgive. But if it is a reoccuring event then that means that that person did not learn, they did not realize it was a mistake. So it is harder to forgive.. Personally i think it is easy to forgive. And people need to learn to forgive so that they don't live in anger with the other person. and all because someone forgives does not mean that they can forget, put it past them and act as if nothing has happened. Forgiveness is only the first step. then there is trust and respect that must be earned back. Link to post Share on other sites
ollydolly Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Naive, I see your point and I think it is a fair one. Forgiveness is a strange concept - and for those of us who are not christians, it seems a ridiculous one. If someone blatantly acts destructively within a relationship it is not a matter of can you forgive but should you forgive. Trust, love and respect are all earned not freely given, I do not buy the concept of unconditional love at all. Love has to have conditions to be love. Love is a human being's highest value and greatest gift, it is not wise to bestow it on an undeserving person. That is what usually leads to hurt. There are things that I will not forgive, not because I am a hard bitch, but simply because they are not right. Link to post Share on other sites
strange love Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Hi Im not sure what exactly happened to you ie: bad memories... But I will say this, I had women do allsorts of things to me. I was able to forgive them..hmm ok well theres a few I draw the line at like stealing. I never had one run off with someone else either. And on the flipside I have done hurtful things myself. And so I think in this case its up to you to look within yourself to forgive this person, or move on. There is no real question of morality here, the answer is totally up to you to you. strangelove Link to post Share on other sites
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