Author Sweetz Posted March 10, 2005 Author Share Posted March 10, 2005 I am having a good day and I had to share the news here. Link to post Share on other sites
ecco Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 Hi Sweets A LITTLE TOUGH LOVE FOR YOU I can't quite figure how you came upon 110 % It sounds like you replied to his mail without any thought of possible consequences. Did you even think about your H as you pushed each key to type your reply to the OM ? No matter how short your reply was. How long did it take you to reply ? Sounds to me that it was instantaneous. (NO THOUGHT AT ALL) Or were you so happy to hear from the OM that you forgot the hurt you have put your H through ? As far as a "Moment Of Weakness" Why don't we call it what it really is "A MOMENT OF SELFISHNESS" It a lot more bitter and to the point when we don't sugar-coat our words. "A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS " Is when you cheat on a diet NOT when you play with peoples emotions. Now as for 110% 110 % would have been to have your H to open and reply to the OM e-mail for you (NOW THAT'S 110%) 100% Would have been not to reply at all, But let your H know that the OM is Fishing 75 % Would have been to reply the way you did with this extra line "PLEAS DON"T CONTACT ME ANY MORE" THANK YOU and let your H press send. Any thing below that is considered looking for trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
TruthHurts Posted March 12, 2005 Share Posted March 12, 2005 Yep I agree it isn't a moment of weakness, its a moment of selfishness. Describing it as a moment of weakness makes it sound like you are a victim to your own frailty and aren't completely responsible (which you are). Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetz Posted March 14, 2005 Author Share Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by ecco Hi Sweets A LITTLE TOUGH LOVE FOR YOU I can't quite figure how you came upon 110 % It sounds like you replied to his mail without any thought of possible consequences. Did you even think about your H as you pushed each key to type your reply to the OM ? No matter how short your reply was. How long did it take you to reply ? Sounds to me that it was instantaneous. (NO THOUGHT AT ALL) Or were you so happy to hear from the OM that you forgot the hurt you have put your H through ? As far as a "Moment Of Weakness" Why don't we call it what it really is "A MOMENT OF SELFISHNESS" It a lot more bitter and to the point when we don't sugar-coat our words. "A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS " Is when you cheat on a diet NOT when you play with peoples emotions. Now as for 110% 110 % would have been to have your H to open and reply to the OM e-mail for you (NOW THAT'S 110%) 100% Would have been not to reply at all, But let your H know that the OM is Fishing 75 % Would have been to reply the way you did with this extra line "PLEAS DON"T CONTACT ME ANY MORE" THANK YOU and let your H press send. Any thing below that is considered looking for trouble. No argument from me here. Thanks for the reply. I take full responsibility for my actions and have nobody to blame but myself. This is the old me that wrote that. The new me knows better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetz Posted March 14, 2005 Author Share Posted March 14, 2005 Originally posted by TruthHurts Yep I agree it isn't a moment of weakness, its a moment of selfishness. Describing it as a moment of weakness makes it sound like you are a victim to your own frailty and aren't completely responsible (which you are). I can't argue with you at all. I was selfish, I was wrong, I was stupid, I was not responsible, I was not thinking about anybody else but myself. It is my fault. I am responsible for what happened. I am glad to have learned all this now as it's not too late to save my marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
bubblez Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 Originally posted by ecco Hi Sweets A LITTLE TOUGH LOVE FOR YOU I can't quite figure how you came upon 110 % It sounds like you replied to his mail without any thought of possible consequences. Did you even think about your H as you pushed each key to type your reply to the OM ? No matter how short your reply was. How long did it take you to reply ? Sounds to me that it was instantaneous. (NO THOUGHT AT ALL) Or were you so happy to hear from the OM that you forgot the hurt you have put your H through ? As far as a "Moment Of Weakness" Why don't we call it what it really is "A MOMENT OF SELFISHNESS" It a lot more bitter and to the point when we don't sugar-coat our words. "A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS " Is when you cheat on a diet NOT when you play with peoples emotions. Now as for 110% 110 % would have been to have your H to open and reply to the OM e-mail for you (NOW THAT'S 110%) 100% Would have been not to reply at all, But let your H know that the OM is Fishing 75 % Would have been to reply the way you did with this extra line "PLEAS DON"T CONTACT ME ANY MORE" THANK YOU and let your H press send. Any thing below that is considered looking for trouble. You seem like a very reasonable person. Above all you seem to be a smart person. All this that you said makes a lot of sense and it sounds fair. But it was also very easy for you to judge sweets, for what I saw. However, you and others have not given sweets the credit she deserves for coming out clean on the situation with her husband before telling us all about it. That, I believe is something hard to do. For instance, I see all these posts and I wonder why in hell do all these people tell the world their problems before approaching the interested parties. They ask for advise and opinions from all but the person affected on the other end. Because there are ALWAYS two sides of a story. I truly hope that you practice what you preach. Because then it would be people like you who would make relationships work better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetz Posted March 16, 2005 Author Share Posted March 16, 2005 We're all human, none perfect. As long as we learn from what we've been through, then perhaps the experience served its purpose. Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 Originally posted by Sweetz We're all human, none perfect. As long as we learn from what we've been through, then perhaps the experience served its purpose. Thats the key isnt it?.....learn and grow PS...Sweetz, empty your PM IN box....so I cant reply to you Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweetz Posted March 16, 2005 Author Share Posted March 16, 2005 Emptied. Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 sent Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 Jump! Sorry, just being silly! Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 CONNECT FOUR!... hahaha Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 LMFAO!! Good one!! Time for that cold shower now....lol Link to post Share on other sites
ecco Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 bubblez you are correct, I should have given sweets the credit for coming out clean and I apologize to sweets for that and I give two thumbs and two big toes up to sweets As far as "practice what you preach" I have been married for 21 YEARS, Not bad for a 41 year old person I have never strayed because notches on my bed post wont make me a bigger man, they will only destroy my furniture. I am a strong believer of (Don't do to others what you wouldn't want done to you) I am also a man of morals. So by now you must be thinking, What is this person doing here? Well sorry to say my marriage is having it's problems and we are in the process of taking care of some issues. Non that I have created. You wondered "why in hell do all these people tell the world their problems before approaching the interested parties." I think they do that because they are not sure on how to approach the situation that they are in. Not everyone reacts the way we would want them to. We can learn a lot here reading how others handle the situation they are in and by the advise that others post. Similar to a MC but only we are communicating with people that are in or about the same position we might be in. We tend to speak the same language here. My hero WAS super-man until I read the post by (ThumbingMyWay) and the way he handled himself . I an currently designing a Hero's costume to send him. Thank you Bubblez for reminding to give sweets the credit she so truly deserves. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Originally posted by ecco Well sorry to say my marriage is having it's problems and we are in the process of taking care of some issues. Non that I have created. Why not start a thread and tell us about it, Ecco? Link to post Share on other sites
bubblez Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 I agree with Ladyjane14. Why don't you tell us more about it. I am interested because I have a theory about long-time relationships that go wrong. I think that people who say "it's not my fault" are simply on denial and in fact they have something, if not everything, to do with whatever is going wrong. Even if they don't think so. It's always easy to victimize oneself in order to cope better with a situation. We, as humans, find very difficult to accept our faults. Even if our faults are not major. Even when our only fault was to do nothing, or not question our partner when it could have made a difference. Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 ECCO this is a great support group....please share more... Link to post Share on other sites
ecco Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 I stand firmly by my words when I said "Non that I have created" As far as denial, I'm not in denial I clearly accept the fact that my one fault was to TRUST & TRUST & TRUST. I can't post it this time because like I stated I am currently in the process of taking care of some issues. I also have a theory about long-time relationships, There are not as many as there should be. bubblez, I know it may seem hard to believe But there are still some good decent men around. I have asked all my questions it's just the answers that I have a problem with. Lying is the most simple form of self defense. bubblez I am also from NY so don't make me get ghetto on you Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 Originally posted by ecco I also have a theory about long-time relationships, There are not as many as there should be. I agree. My wife and I just had a talk about that. We are both 34 and have been together for 17 years....half our life. She is all I know...she is all I want to know....and I told her, that is a good thing. Its a good thing....to me....my cant a couple be together till the end of thier time....I believe its a good thing if we cant be together from 17 yo to 97 yo....we should be honered and blessed if we cant reach that goal. Your right ecco....there are still some good men in this world.... Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 edit above post...last 2 "cant''s should be CAN.....thats what I get for typing in the dark... Link to post Share on other sites
bubblez Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Originally posted by ecco I stand firmly by my words when I said "Non that I have created" As far as denial, I'm not in denial I clearly accept the fact that my one fault was to TRUST & TRUST & TRUST. I can't post it this time because like I stated I am currently in the process of taking care of some issues. I also have a theory about long-time relationships, There are not as many as there should be. bubblez, I know it may seem hard to believe But there are still some good decent men around. I have asked all my questions it's just the answers that I have a problem with. Lying is the most simple form of self defense. bubblez I am also from NY so don't make me get ghetto on you Dear Ecco and Thumbingmyway, I don't doubt on your goodness. I know there are good men out there. My husband is one of them and I love him dearly for that. But I still believe Ecco is in some kind of denial. He doesn't even want to talk about it and that is a big sign of fault and confusion. However, I may be wrong and in fact the situation in which he is in may not have been created by him and what he is trying to do is fix it and then talk about it. If that is the case then I undestand. Although I would have to question his intentions of becoming a member of a site like this one. Here we talk about OUR concerns and ask for advise based on OUR experiences. We can never learn through other people's experiences by just looking and judging other people's situations. We can't never fully compare our situations with other peoples' (in this case, the members of this site). Not everyone reacts the same way. For example ecco, you said that "it is the answers that you have a problem with." Well, maybe it's because you are the type of person who will only accept the answers they want to hear (even if that is not the truth). You have to be careful about that. You have to take your reality and apply it first to common sense, which sometimes we loose when we are in a difficult situations. Make a full analisis of the situation OBJECTIVELY. This can be very tricky because you are being affected by the situation and can only see it in one angle. So, imagine the people in this situation is not you. And DON'T try to match the situation you have with the situations posted here. Our stories are always different, they have different components and different protagonists. By the way, I was browsing the site and I noticed you changed your signature and I have to tell you it was a poor choice. I totally loved the "taking chances" part. But I totally hated your last quote "Good husbands make unhappy wives." That is really awful. I think that real good husbands usually make extremely happy wifes. I believe that quote you chose projects denial on your part. Maybe that good husband you are refering to has not taken a good look at him-self and isn't as good after all. I wish you luck in your quest for answers and hope that your situation is resolved, especially 'cause it's a long-time relationship and if it's been that long it means it deserves to be saved! Good luck. I am rooting for your marriage and your happiness!! Link to post Share on other sites
ecco Posted April 2, 2005 Share Posted April 2, 2005 HI bubblez I will take this I see all these posts and I wonder why in hell do all these people tell the world their problems before approaching the interested parties. and counter it with your own words However, I may be wrong and in fact the situation in which he is in may not have been created by him and what he is trying to do is fix it and then talk about it. Very well said I will be posting my story. I haven't posted before because out of respect to my W She requested I don't post . Well you are right it is selfish of me, because as I sit here reading this Maybe that good husband you are refering to has not taken a good look at him-self and isn't as good after all. Makes me think, What if I didn't notice my W was taking her ring off at work, Then I wouldn't have had to ask her, Why?. But what came next really shocked me. Can you guess? Yep She denied it. I guess being there seeing it with my own two eyes was not enough proof for her. After denying it for a while she admitted that she took it off. So I asked her, Why? Can you guess what happened next ? SHE DENIED IT AGAIN I swore it was raining BRICKS and I had no cover. My brain took a pounding. This is only a small chapter of many. I share this site with my W, So anything I post she will see. I hide nothing Living with someone who lies about almost everything can reek havoc on our souls. I find myself taking deep breath of air lately filling my lungs to its fullest almost like it was my last one. About the signature that you referred to Good husbands make unhappy wives Was not to offend anyone and I apologize if I have It is only the way I feel Link to post Share on other sites
ecco Posted April 2, 2005 Share Posted April 2, 2005 REPOST Quote error Im Having a bad QUOTE day HI bubblez I will take this "I see all these posts and I wonder why in hell do all these people tell the world their problems before approaching the interested parties." and counter it with your own words "However, I may be wrong and in fact the situation in which he is in may not have been created by him and what he is trying to do is fix it and then talk about it." Very well said I will be posting my story. I haven't posted before because out of respect to my W She requested I don't post . Well you are right it is selfish of me because as I sit here reading this "Maybe that good husband you are referring to has not taken a good look at him-self and isn't as good after all." Makes me think, What if I didn't notice my W was taking her ring off at work, Then I wouldn't have had to ask her, Why?. But what came next really shocked me. Can you guess? Yep She denied it. I guess being there seeing it with my own two eyes was not enough proof for her. After denying it for a while she admitted that she took it off. So I asked her, Why? Can you guess what happened next ? SHE DENIED IT AGAIN I swore it was raining BRICKS and I had no cover. My brain took a pounding. This is only a small chapter of many. I share this site with my W, So anything I post she will see. I hide nothing Living with someone who lies about almost everything can reek havoc on our souls. I find myself taking deep breath of air lately filling my lungs to its fullest almost like it was my last one. About the signature that you referred to Good husbands make unhappy wives . Was not to offend anyone and I apologize if I have It is only the way I feel Link to post Share on other sites
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