Bohdi10 Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 I'm very bitter right now. I am so bothered that I run into this kind of crap. I basically go out and am very nice to people and joke around alot. I usually am the entertainment of the crowd. But I seemed to get burned alot with no explanation. I am usually laid back but this is one thing that always bothers me. I wouldn't be so mad if it wasn't for the fact of not getting the respect of I just want to be friends. Or I'm not looking for anything right now? Or even I'm seeing someone else, it isn't going to work right now. I get nothing...no phone call....just silence. That's bull....I want to so bad just be like. "I don't get it..what is your deal? I didn't do anything wrong for you to ignore me. I'm going to run into you obviously at the bar. Why just ignore? Do I deserve that?" Obviously people tell you to go watch a movie...have fun...do whatever..but how can that happen when you keep thinking about how you have been burnt? My problem is I'm a curious guy. I give truthful answers and expect to have the truth given to me. I am at the age where it isn't worth it to play around but apparently people still do this. Link to post Share on other sites
RichieScott1 Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Different people react differently to all types of personalities. Maybe you are just looking in the wrong crowd. Try to find someone who shares your sense of humor and can respect what you have to offer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bohdi10 Posted December 22, 2004 Author Share Posted December 22, 2004 That's the problem man. We sat at a bar talking about absolutely nothing, we had the same exact humor. That's why we got along so well. and then we hung out together at the mall. We laughed at the same stuff and basically jinxed each other in our conversation. It is so fun it was scary. That is why I don't get it and why I'm pissed off. If it was a typical, drunken night at the bar and i got a number and the girl never called back then that is fine. but this wasn't that. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Well you can't read her mind. Maybe you wouldn't feel so bad if you knew how she really felt about it. You only know your side. You allowed yourself to have high expectations after a short time together, which makes you prone to disappointment. Also, it's possible that you got so charged up by the idea of making a connection with her that you started forcing it. Who knows? Try not to analyze it too much, because you'll never know anyway. I've had this happen, too. I know EXACTLY how you feel. It's really hard to read the situation sometimes, when you think you have a great connection only to find out the other person didn't really feel it. It makes you stronger in the end because it trains you to remember you have to keep relying on yourself to supply your happiness no matter how things are going with someone else. People say that "you'll find someone when you stop looking". Then you pretend you aren't looking and get bummed out when nothing happens. What people should say is that you'll find someone when you stop caring so much and start really enjoying yourself no matter what's going on with women. At that point you become much more open and fun and THEN you start really making connections you can trust. Link to post Share on other sites
RichieScott1 Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Maybe she isn't ready for the type of relationship you are. Maybe you should discuss with her the idea of just staying close friends for awhile then let it develop from there. It's not your fault. Some people just aren't sure what they want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bohdi10 Posted December 22, 2004 Author Share Posted December 22, 2004 the big problem is she has disappeared. i mean, it is different if something happened like she was like i don't want to talk to you or i'm not ready for anything. She is basically just ignoring me outright. that is what is pissing me off. the mystery. if I wanted a mystery I would solve a puzzle or watch a drama. I mean i freakin texted her and was like hey did i do something to cause you to ignore me or what? because it's weird. it seemed like nothing was wrong on thursday.it's not like i was an a**h***. what's going on? and u would think that you would at least get a response saying leave me alone, i don't want to talk to you, bye!, but nothing! Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 I'd say try to let it go then. If that's how she wants to be. You won't achieve anything by forcing her an explanation out of her. Some mysteries you just have to accept as mysteries. Most of the truly unexplainable ones come from women. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bohdi10 Posted December 22, 2004 Author Share Posted December 22, 2004 Well yeah, I know, I considered the text as a last resort to a respectable response. Since nothing has been returned then I have given up. I mean at this point it would make me be the psycho stalker guy if I were to contact her again, if she wouldnt' consider me that already. Can't wait for the next time I go to the local bar. To me if you are told to call someone and you attempt to reach them a few times over like 5 days and then ask what's the deal.... that is curiousity to the question why? What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 I agree it's curious. I guess an explanation would be nice, because then you could know for sure whether it was something you did or something you could control or fix. Some ideas: 1) She knows what happened as well as you do. If she wanted to discuss it, she'd contact you. 2) If you run into her somewhere, she'll feel uncomfortable even if you don't say anything to her. 3) If you try to talk to her, it will make her feel even weirder. 4) She knows you're interested, and she has to figure you'll start trying to solve the "problem" if she tells you what it is. 5) She is choosing this method hoping you'll just move on and forget about it. Instead of being honest and up front with you. 6) That kind of honesty is required in a relationship, but is optional in an "encounter" like you had. 7) She feels guilty about it, I'm sure. 8) Whatever is up with her most likely happened while you weren't around. So it's most likely because she has something going on with someone else and came to her senses after she left you. 9) Whatever it is, it's best to respect the "message" she's sending. You aren't in a position to expect anything from her. 10) If you bombard her with expecations, you are going to come off like a psycho stalker. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bohdi10 Posted December 22, 2004 Author Share Posted December 22, 2004 You make a very good point and I agree with you. I am not planning on further contact as I said. I just want to know that what I have already done isn't considered wrong, stupid, crazy, etc. She told me to call her on Friday so I did. She told me that her cell phone doesnt' really get good service at her house, so when I left a message I said that I would text her as well in case she was at home. No response that day. We planned on maybe going to the mall on saturday depending on when she was going somewhere with her brother(this was part of our conversation on thursday night when we hung out, so saturday I texted her in the afternoon and asked her if she figured out when she was going with her brother, no response. I text alot of my friends during football games and i did this with her last week, I sent a yeah eagles message. no response. and i called today to see what she was doing tonight? and then text her at night saying it seemed like she was ignoring me, what's going on? was that too much or are those justified contacts. I don't want to be perceived as something I'm not. Let me know? Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 I think what you did was fine. I don't detect any signs of craziness. Seems like you just had the impression that you and she would have more contact. A few tries over a few days is justified. As long as none of your text messages was angry or bitter. But even if they were, who cares? She seems kind of wacko herself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bohdi10 Posted December 22, 2004 Author Share Posted December 22, 2004 She just text me back and said Hey...I'm not ignorin u just been christmas shopping and watching football, sorry if ur taking it personal but I wasn't aware of the rules. ****, how do i take that? it doesn't sound pretty. what should be my next move? Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Just forget about it. Maybe someday she'll come up with something nice to say. Otherwise, no loss. Kind of hard on the ego, but it happens. Link to post Share on other sites
RichieScott1 Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 The whole "i wasn't aware of the rules" thing kinda catches my eye. Sounds like she thinks she has you in the palm of her hand. I believe now she thinks that you have tried to contact her on a regular basis that you can't live without her. I see this developing into something that will hurt you in the long run. I believe the next move would be to walk away from this woman, or show her somehow that your life doesn't revolve around her and maybe she will back off a little bit on the "rules". Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Dude, you should be my bro. I think we have a similar outlook on people and the lack of civility they show (or in these type of cases don't show) others. I also am not into trying to figure out mysteries with human beings. I say let this broad come to you and if she doesnt then fug it, she wasnt worth your time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bohdi10 Posted December 23, 2004 Author Share Posted December 23, 2004 Hey, I had that issue of her not calling me back and then me texting her and being like what happened to you? I told her I didn't want things to be awkward or whatever and that i wasn't trying to be pushy. I had fun hanging out with her and said that I wanted her to call me to clear things up. She called me today and left a message. She said that nothing was awkward or weird. She was just has been busy. She said that she would talk to me soon What would be your next move?? Link to post Share on other sites
RichieScott1 Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 The next move is really up to you. It sounds like she wants to work things out, but like I said that decision is yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 give her space and let her contact you when she isn't as busy assuming she is telling you the truth about being real busy. Link to post Share on other sites
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