lulu1 Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 I was with my ex bf for a little over 3 yrs. After about 6 months he moved in with me and my 3 boys. Life was going well. We all seem to ajust to each other. He feel in love with the boys. He treated them like they were his own kids, and the boys treated them like he was there dad. I was with my kids dad for many years, it was a bad relationship. He was physical and mentaly abusive and so i develpoed a lot of trust issues. THing were going good and when he would do something i would get paroind. Well after time, it took it's toll on him. He told me that he was going to move out and he would return when i get the help that i needed to let go of my past. I love him with all my heart and i went ahead and got counsling. When he moved out he said that he would stay in contact with me and the boys and he told the boys that he would still be a big part of there life.we'll when he moved he did not tell me where he was, he said he wanted me to trust him so i did. THan i found out that he moved again; he was also e-mailing his ex in brazil ( he is from Brazil) and he left if on the e-mail and i got his cell phone number. He never gave it to me. HE told me that he does not want a relationshiop he wants to be single. He never comes over often. He has been over in the last 4 months like 5 times. At first he said he does want to have a friend ship than he didnt than he did. SO we have been in contact the whole time that he has been gone. (4) months. I love him with all my heart and soul. I would do anything to get him back. Last Friday was my sons b-day and he came over to see him, and got him a gift and took him for lunch. Today i sent him an email with some photos of him me and the boys doing different things. I hope he will recondicer. I found out by my friend, that one of his friends at work tried to hook him up with a girl but he declined, so thay asked him if he was gay. DO you think he maybe confused or if he really wants to be single? pls help with any advice. i just got off the phone with him, my heart is with him and his heart he says is not with me. something is not letting my let him go, it's been 4 months and i cant. i love him. pls help Link to post Share on other sites
bicyclejunk Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 [color=darkred]He's probably dealing with some selfish feelings right now. Personally, No offense to you, But I wouldn't have let him move in and have the boys be SO close to him. That's a big deal to a young kid. I have no doubt that he loves you and loves the boys and liked what he was experiencing with you: A Wife and Kids. But I also think he may have been scared off, things may have gotten to heavy. He may like what you guys had, but may not be ready to be responsible and make it his life. Yet he still feels obligated to be there for the boys since he already invested some time in them. I say, keep the kids out of it for a while. Don;t let them see the two of you going back and forth. Figure out your relationship with this man and have a sit-down with him....Talk about "You and HIM" and where you're at. Leave the boys out of it until you know where the two of you stand. Because if he's not ready to commit, then he may just have to become an Uncle to the boys and you may have to drop your feelings for him.[/color] Link to post Share on other sites
Amulet Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 I am in a similar position to you right now as far as my heart is concerned. All I can say to you is that maybe if you sat down and talked to him about how things have changed and how that would positively affect your lives he may feel hope. I also want to send you my compassion over this wire. Maybe by supporting eachother we can get through this! Link to post Share on other sites
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