bride2B Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 [font=arial][/font][color=violet][/color]I'm getting married in April 2005 and have a major problem! My fiance and I have decided to have a very small intimate wedding in myrtle beach - about 10hrs from home. We are only inviting immediate family, grandparents and the only friends are the bridal party which only consists of my two best friends (only because I couldn't choose between them) and his best friend as the best man. The delima is one of my friends has assumed that she and her husband is invited. I wouldn't have a problem with this if they got along with my fiance - but they don't. They make no attempt to talk to him when we are together, they don't even say hello. This infuriates my fiance - understandably. If I don't address this and they show I know it will cause major problems. My fiance has said point blank he's glad they are not comeing to the wedding! How do I address this problem without sounding rude and ending a very long friendship??? Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Plan a small event at your house or something at a cheap restaurant, so you're not spending a lot of money, for the friend's that won't be invited to the wedding. Explain that no gifts are to be brought and let them know this has been planned to share some time together. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 It sounds to me like the friendship is already on its way out. They don't get along with your husband-to-be, and sadly, that will mean you won't spend very much time with them. You won't be able to do couply things, and it will just be your 'friend' time - which as I know being a newlywed - is quite short! If you choose to have such a small wedding, both you and your fiance have to set the ground rules up front. You said something along the lines of if they did get along with your fiance it would be fine if they came. It can't be that way. You have to stick to your rules - immediate family, grandparents and wedding party. No exceptions - otherwise people will be hurt. Communicate with people who will not be invited that unfortunately it will be an intimate wedding and that you'll be pleased to celebrate with them at another date. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Let your friend know as soon as possible that you have a "very tiny" event planned with just family and the bridal party. Make sure you invite her to your home soon after you get back. But if they are so rude to your fiance - perhaos you are planning to drop them? Your future H and your current friends don't have to be best buddies - but if they can't be minimally civil to him, I don't see that they can have much future with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bride2B Posted December 23, 2004 Author Share Posted December 23, 2004 Thanks for the advice. You all said pretty much what I already knew deep down - the friendship is on it's way to it's demise. I just can't understand why they are so rude with him and it does strike a nerve with me. I've always been curtious and made small talk with her hubby even though there honestly are things that throw me off w/him. I'd just expect the same from a friend, especially knowing we're about to be married. Again, thanks for the advice, I guess there is just no real way to make this situation easier. . . . Link to post Share on other sites
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