How to tell if a guy is interested - are there subtle signs?

[Phoe]

A few weeks ago there was an intense discussion regarding females who have male friends.

 

Mainly, people wanted to argue that men are never friends with a woman simply because they want to be friends with her, they only do it because they are interested, "orbiters" so to speak, waiting for an opportunity.

 

 

I steadfastly don't believe this. I have plenty of male friends who would never ever EVER be interested in me. They have said so, a completely lack of attraction has been established, and we both know the friendship is so very platonic and we just really like hanging out as we have a lot in common.

 

 

But then I started thinking about a handful of guys I know who aren't as close friends as the guys mentioned above. Guys I might not know too well, but am reasonably acquainted with, get along with, hang out with sometimes and have not yet made any sort of statement along the lines of "I could never date Phoe, she's like a sister!"

 

 

My question to men is - what signs should I look for? Are there subtle hints that I should pick up on?

 

 

There were 2 male friends over the past month who I thought maybe could be interested, or maybe would BECOME interested if they knew me better or spent more time around me.

 

 

I think I read things very wrong though... my attempts at flirting went nowhere. I mostly got polite disinterest back. So I went back to acting normal with them.

 

 

How can I tell the difference between a guy that really is just friends with me, and one who might actually be interested? I feel like the orbiter discussion got me thinking about things I shouldn't have thought about. I always believed my male friends were truly just my friends, and I think I was right all along, and just THINKING about things has caused me to start acting silly. I don't wanna botch up my friendships.

[HomanWater]

I can't speak for all guys, but I don't do any subtle signs. I just approach the women I want.

 

If a woman approached me, I'd be surprised - I would either like her and it would be like meeting half way because we were both approaching each other, or not, when I'd not approach be just passive and polite.

[Phoe]

I can't speak for all guys, but I don't do any subtle signs. I just approach the women I want.

 

I am assuming that, more often than not, if a guy is interested he won't be subtle about it.

 

 

But I would hate to miss out on a subtle sign if it was there and the guy was too shy to be forward with me.

[Imported]

Look really closely at his crotch area. You see anything moving there?

[TheBathWater]

#1 subtle and tell tale sign to see if any person likes any person (man-woman, woman-man, woman-woman, man-man, etc...).

 

Get a group of people together and wait until someone tells a joke. When everyone starts laughing, look around the group and see who is making eye contact with who. That is who likes each other

[Confusedguy81]

my tongue hangs out and I pant like a dog....

[Els]

I don't think most guys give 'signs', to be honest. They either conceal their feelings very closely or just straight up ask you out. At least, I've had lots of platonic friends and every. single. confession took me completely by surprise. The vast majority of them never confessed though, so I have no idea what they were thinking. There have been rumors of a few being interested, but I still don't know if it was true or not.

 

If you want to be open to a relationship with them, just be receptive and let the cards fall as they may.

[melell]

I don't know if this will help, but it has always been obvious to me in one way or another.

Like lots of staring, or giving more attention than they are giving to others, compliments etc.

[todreaminblue]

I pee on the girls I like.

 

 

i almost smiled.....smilin...yep smilin now.....thanks....needed to...deb

[vtran31]

polite disinterest could be a sign a guy likes you. we are told it drives women wild:bunny::bunny:

[todreaminblue]

polite disinterest could be a sign a guy likes you. we are told it drives women wild:bunny::bunny:

 

or insane...yep sounds cool..do that

[Phoe]

yeahhh all signs are pointing to NO right now. lol.

[Eternal Sunshine]

They look at you more

When in group setting, they give you more attention than others

They give you compliments

If you accidentally touch them, they don't move away

They go out of their way to be gentlemanly and helpful

[Imported]

Pro's like me can hide all those signs

 

Phoe, can I ask you why you want to know?

 

Why would you hide those signs?

 

I always give feedback if I am not already with someone and I think she is attractive enough even if I wasn't really thinking of her in that way. If you're flirting with me and get zero indication back, please stop.

[TintedChrome]

My question to men is - what signs should I look for? Are there subtle hints that I should pick up on?

 

Eternal's list is very good.

 

You'll notice he's looking at you. He'll do stuff to get your attention. He'll look for opportunities to be in your presence and communicate with you and do things for you. He'll ask questions about you. He'll compliment you.

 

He'll initiate communication with you. He'll ask for your email address or phone number. He'll email/text/call you. He'll invite you to participate in activities with him. He'll ask you for a date.

 

Bottom line is, if a man likes you and wants you, he'll come after you.

[Phoe]

Phoe, can I ask you why you want to know?

 

Kinda touched on it in the OP, just wondering if it's possible any of the guys I know might be interested in me but I'm not aware because I'm not picking up on their hints.

 

 

Most responses indicate that they wouldn't be hinting in the first place, so it seems I've found my answer

[Phoe]

If you're flirting with me and get zero indication back, please stop.

 

Yeah that's what I did. I flirted for a couple days, got no interest, so I stopped and went back to acting normal.

[Phoe]

Phoe, what I meant more was that it was not really clear to me whether you're attracted to some male friends of yours and hoped they were interested too, or that you just want to know whether they're attracted to you since it makes you uncomfortable?

 

Ohhhh, not uncomfortable at all. Most of my guy friends have made it clear, etched in stone, that they do not find me attractive, but there were 2 that HADN'T done that, so I figured maybe there was a chance that something could happen, tried my bit of flirting, but it wasn't well received.

[Phoe]

I could give you fashion tips, haha.

 

No thank you.

[Chris715]

I could give you fashion tips, haha.

 

You're cute, but you dress really badly.

 

Don't listen to them Phoe. Any girl I saw wearing a COD Ghosts shirt I would instantly love

[Phoe]

Yet she 0 guys lining up for her, so something is wrong.

 

I wonder what it is... hmm

 

You've seen all of maybe 5 photos that even remotely show clothing in them and you suddenly are an expert on the clothes I wear? LOL.

 

 

I sleep in the COD shirt. It's my pajamas. That photo was at 2 am getting ready for bed.

 

 

Any man who's got a problem with the shirt I wear while sleeping can GTFO.

[Imported]

OP, I checked out your photo's. You're safely in my, "I'd do her..." category. You look good.

 

 

 

 

 

Something else must be wrong with you. However, reading the postings from you that I have read, I think I'd enjoy hanging out with you, so I dunno what the problem is. Maybe there is no problem with you. Maybe the problem is all your guy friends are just little boys more concerned with video games than dating girls.

 

You don't turn into an ogre when the sun goes down right?

[Phoe]

Something else must be wrong with you. However, reading the postings from you that I have read, I think I'd enjoy hanging out with you, so I dunno what the problem is. Maybe there is no problem with you. Maybe the problem is all your guy friends are just little boys more concerned with video games than dating girls.

 

Yeah, trying to figure out what's wrong with me is the hard part, but it's why I'm here. Sometimes I think I'm too tall or maybe my nose is too sharp or my lips too small, but there's nothing I can do about those things.

 

 

This is the first time anyone's suggested that my clothes are stopping me from getting dates. I'm not apt to believe it considering that my photos are not really that indicative of what I wear while out and about, but the possibility of it has been duly noted and will be considered.

 

 

Not about to burn my closet though. lol.

[Phoe]

Can I ask for an example how you flirt?

 

It might (keyword: might) not be as obvious as you think it is.

 

It's definitely subtle enough that I can save myself embarrassment if it's not well received.

 

 

I may compliment how he looks, tell him he smells nice, stand close to him while talking, smile a lot, make a lot of eye contact, touch his arm or back while talking, then say something like I'm grabbing a drink and some food at a local restaurant and ask if he'd like to join. I got "ooh, sounds nice but I'm gonna stay behind, thanks Phoe, enjoy your food!"

 

 

I may not have been obvious enough with the flirting, but I think the invitation to join me at the restaurant was a bit clearer.

 

 

Later on after I left he said he kinda changed his mind and wished he'd gone along, but meh, he was probably just hungry. lol.

[Divasu]

How can I tell the difference between a guy that really is just friends with me, and one who might actually be interested? I feel like the orbiter discussion got me thinking about things I shouldn't have thought about. I always believed my male friends were truly just my friends, and I think I was right all along, and just THINKING about things has caused me to start acting silly. I don't wanna botch up my friendships.

 

I think a telltale sign is when he's calling you, asking you out, etc.

 

Granted, not all men operate that way, and wait to see signs first from a woman before he pursues, but in those cases, you're probably going to have to be the aggressor. Or, drive yourself crazy trying to interpret subtle signs. Don't pretzel yourself into figuring out what those subtle signs mean, and/or how to act upon them. That's the guys job. Of course, if you think he's a good guy and you're attracted to him, by all means, express that. Delicately over course. From past experience, when I've been the aggressor, it frazzled the hell out of me because I had a hard time finding a middle ground (if that makes sense) and I was not used to it so it did not come naturally for me.