ComingInHot Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 Okay, so We just moved back home but to a new school district. Everything is going along rosey when I get a call from one of the two parents of whom my daughter is "besties" with. Now, I do Not know this woman at all. I've maybe had two possibly three conversations w/her at most where I really don't get to say much other than smile, nod and say "Oh? Wow." That's it. So, she calls saying she has a concern regarding the girls and her daughter being physically "hurt" by mine. Ooookaaay. I ask her to please explain what her daughter is saying, her daughters perseption and this mother's perception so I can take the information and question My daughter appropriately and gain my daughter's perspective to hopefully figure out the truth of it all and take corrective measures where needed, if needed. Ya know? This whole thing could just be a misunderstand in and/or too rough of play. Comes out that from this mother, her daughter (who is about Four sizes Smaller than her age & very slight/petite) has gone to the school office saying they were playing and mine hurt her. But she has told her step mother that mine "pushed" her then hurt her again a different way. This woman (who is EIGHT Months pregnant by the way) then claims her daughter had to be picked up early, Afraid my daughter would beat her up?!!? I explained these were very serious allegations and I really need to talk to her to get to the truth. Maybe I said it wrong but her voice went up an octave when she stated, "what are you talking about?! I just gave you the truth!" I tried to clarify but she wouldn't have it so I simply said, respectfully, that I was hanging up w/her to speak to my daughter and I would communicate via text so we could work together. In the meantime the step daughter was in the background Begging for a play date... So much more but that's it for now. Help??!!? CIH* Link to post Share on other sites
Author ComingInHot Posted November 15, 2013 Author Share Posted November 15, 2013 Here's more... Then this step mother proceeds to tell me she has been speaking w/the third little girl's mother (the three of them adore each other) telling her that my daughter assulted this other woman's daughter on the play ground !! I just OMG!!! WHY WASN'T I CALLED!! IF this is true, my daughter is in SERIOUS Dung AND she needs help.!.! This woman said to go ahead and call mom # Three. At this point, I turned it all to text. I spoke w/my Ten year old and she was Mortified that her BFF's thought this way. She asked me Why? Why would they even want to be my friend let alone play w/me if they thought I'd hurt them!! Well, my daughter explained to me that when the girls played, she played back the same way (w/the same "energy") . This little girl would smack mine on the butt. My daughter would chase her. The little girl stopped fast & mine ran into her... her daughter told Me this yesterday too! This step mother won't believe I guess. I've decided it best NOT to engage this woman unless a mediator or liasion is present so I'm not taking her calls or texts. Problem is, this Also seems to be building her animosity... Oh ya... there's more.. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Hormones have her going crazy!? Link to post Share on other sites
Janesays Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Just have your daughter call and apologize for the misunderstanding and promise to be less aggressive in the future. The two girls can just talk; no reason for Moms to be involved. Done deal. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mea_M Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Oh boy! I smell drama here. I have a boat load of kids and a few teenagers. I'll tell you this. I've seen it all when it comes to taking it up a notch with girls and their behavior. The other mother probably has a big ego. A very huge thing to remember is , girly girls sometimes gang up and distort facts. It can become an emotional nightmare for the parent dealing with this sorta thing. The truth most likely lies somewhere in between. I'd say have your daughter steer clear of this girl. If an apology is warranted, be sure that takes place. I feel ya here, know that. Mea :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author ComingInHot Posted November 15, 2013 Author Share Posted November 15, 2013 Apologies ALREADY done!! I explained that REGARDLESS of intent or how other girls are playing, when someone is hurt they are hurt. My daughter apologized right after it happened but on Monday, she apologized for not being more careful and that from now on they could all play together w/out being physical so everyone would be safe and happy. I was really proud of her and this whole week there has been ZERO incident. Parent/teach conf. today where all was confirmed INCLUDING the teacher not EVER seeing anything besides these three girls acting like be ties. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ComingInHot Posted November 15, 2013 Author Share Posted November 15, 2013 Oh my gosh you guys THANK YOU!! At first I thought I Was being my foolish self by not noticing something, then I thought this mother was like preggo/horome-crazed and wasn't you know... Then the fact that these allegations by the mother were NOT supported by her step daughter outside of their home w/the principle or my daughter and the third child's mother. So here's the kicker, my H bought like Forty dollars in candy for a holloween party game the girls created for school and my daughter took it over to their home to work on the game right, so then this woman takes all the candy and shows up at her CHURCH and gave it to the church's holloween party on behalf of herself. No notice, payback, thank, nothing, sent my daughter home in tears because she knew her daddy would be upset (like it was her fault...) . Her father was NOT mad at her by the way, which impressed the sh*t out of me But is that weird? Then to go on and do all of this?? I'm right Not to engage this woman right?? Link to post Share on other sites
mea_M Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Oh my gosh you guys THANK YOU!! At first I thought I Was being my foolish self by not noticing something, then I thought this mother was like preggo/horome-crazed and wasn't you know... Then the fact that these allegations by the mother were NOT supported by her step daughter outside of their home w/the principle or my daughter and the third child's mother. So here's the kicker, my H bought like Forty dollars in candy for a holloween party game the girls created for school and my daughter took it over to their home to work on the game right, so then this woman takes all the candy and shows up at her CHURCH and gave it to the church's holloween party on behalf of herself. No notice, payback, thank, nothing, sent my daughter home in tears because she knew her daddy would be upset (like it was her fault...) . Her father was NOT mad at her by the way, which impressed the sh*t out of me But is that weird? Then to go on and do all of this?? I'm right Not to engage this woman right?? Umm.. Yeah I'd stay away. Sounds a bit of her rocker. Lol Mea :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author ComingInHot Posted November 15, 2013 Author Share Posted November 15, 2013 at conferences today the teacher referred to her as "whack".! I kid you not. Link to post Share on other sites
Janesays Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Yeah, i'd dodge that woman like dog sh it in the yard. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sunrise24 Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 (edited) I'm right not to engage this woman right??Sound decision. Worst case scenario: your daughter can make new friends (though, it would be nice if the current friendships could be maintained anyway); crucial for her development is the love & support (based on what you've written) that you and your husband have displayed. Edited November 15, 2013 by sunrise24 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Maybe she could invite the girl over to your house so the mom isn't involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ComingInHot Posted November 15, 2013 Author Share Posted November 15, 2013 Turner a wrote, " Maybe she could invite the girl over to your house so the mom isn't involved." We really enjoy having this little girl over! She is really a sweet person However w/so much, "negative energy"??.. and possibly "false" communication by this little girl to her step mother for whatever reason, we are thinking about just taking a little "break" from play dates but remain friends and enjoy eachother's company at school in the presence of an educator. I've asked that all three girls be closely monitored for a couple of weeks to see if, what and whom is provoking or instigating what is being said, if anything... and that INCLUDES my daughter. Note: My daughter made the decision to play/hang w/others today so as not to put herself in ANY stitch that could be misconstrued to make her look bad**. The teacher said she handled herself beautifully (I'm beaming right now!) And still smiled and was kind to the other girl. Few! Tonight, this mother drove by our home. No other kids that age live on our street. It's a dead end street w/court. She actually made me uneasy w/that action. I Wish I KNEW who she was! Anything! Not knowing is so incredibly disturbing, like Freddy Kruger in the FIRST movie when he Didn't talk... Link to post Share on other sites
bentleychic Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Oh my gosh you guys THANK YOU!! At first I thought I Was being my foolish self by not noticing something, then I thought this mother was like preggo/horome-crazed and wasn't you know... Then the fact that these allegations by the mother were NOT supported by her step daughter outside of their home w/the principle or my daughter and the third child's mother. So here's the kicker, my H bought like Forty dollars in candy for a holloween party game the girls created for school and my daughter took it over to their home to work on the game right, so then this woman takes all the candy and shows up at her CHURCH and gave it to the church's holloween party on behalf of herself. No notice, payback, thank, nothing, sent my daughter home in tears because she knew her daddy would be upset (like it was her fault...) . Her father was NOT mad at her by the way, which impressed the sh*t out of me But is that weird? Then to go on and do all of this?? I'm right Not to engage this woman right?? Wow. She does sound off her rocker and like her daughter is a "precious little snowflake" that can do no wrong. I'd instruct your daughter to tread lightly or stay away from that little girl. What a shame that a parent can make us feel that way, but I really think it's for the best for your daughter's sake. If you talked to the third mom, did her story seem similar to "snowflake's" mom? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sunrise24 Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 (edited) Note: My daughter made the decision to play/hang w/others today so as not to put herself in ANY stitch that could be misconstrued to make her look bad**. The teacher said she handled herself beautifully (I'm beaming right now!) And still smiled and was kind to the other girl. Few!It sounds like your daughter has been handling this situation in a very mature fashion; major props to her for setting a healthy example for other children. From what you've written here thus far, I like your parenting style already. I've asked that all three girls be closely monitored for a couple of weeks to see if, what and whom is provoking or instigating what is being said, if anything... and that INCLUDES my daughter... ...Tonight, this mother drove by our home. No other kids that age live on our street. It's a dead end street w/court. She actually made me uneasy w/that action. I Wish I KNEW who she was! Anything! Not knowing is so incredibly disturbing, like Freddy Kruger in the FIRST movie when he Didn't talk... If anything, it sounds like this mother is the one who needs close monitoring. After all, perhaps her daughter wouldn't have been making such misguided allegations if she was living under a healthier parenting style... Isn't it interesting how children are capable of being more mature than adults? P.S. ComingInHot, ...crucial for her development is the love & support (based on what you've written) that you and your husband have displayed. Only after I made this comment did I read over some of that background information regarding your relationship with your H; my mistake... Edited November 16, 2013 by sunrise24 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ComingInHot Posted November 16, 2013 Author Share Posted November 16, 2013 sunset, Bentley, thanks chickas!! I wish there was a way to express how much your support means to me. I have to review snowglake's mom as it's not ringing a bell at the moment. Eh, funny how, just like in some of the threads here how, with limited knowledge, our minds go to work trying to fill in the blanks however we can... I'M doing it right now aren't I?! Oh yuck. I don't know this person. I don't know what she's been through. But honestly, I kind of want to give her what for, for being so mean to my daughter. Mama bear syndrome right? Normal to feel this way and wise to not engage and if she continues, address calmly w/a legal mediator(verbage lost on me). I hate remembering I'm No better than Anyone but my own self When I act the right way. For the sake of not becoming more of a b*tch by sharing a few more "obnoxiously juicy" incidents, I'm going to call it a night on this thread..... unless she does something more this weekend. Then I'm totally spilling to you guys! Bless your nights all!!* Link to post Share on other sites
bentleychic Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 She just sounds crazy to me. Do not engage the crazy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mea_M Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 (edited) Turner a wrote, " Maybe she could invite the girl over to your house so the mom isn't involved." We really enjoy having this little girl over! She is really a sweet person However w/so much, "negative energy"??.. and possibly "false" communication by this little girl to her step mother for whatever reason, we are thinking about just taking a little "break" from play dates but remain friends and enjoy eachother's company at school in the presence of an educator. I've asked that all three girls be closely monitored for a couple of weeks to see if, what and whom is provoking or instigating what is being said, if anything... and that INCLUDES my daughter. Note: My daughter made the decision to play/hang w/others today so as not to put herself in ANY stitch that could be misconstrued to make her look bad**. The teacher said she handled herself beautifully (I'm beaming right now!) And still smiled and was kind to the other girl. Few! Tonight, this mother drove by our home. No other kids that age live on our street. It's a dead end street w/court. She actually made me uneasy w/that action. I Wish I KNEW who she was! Anything! Not knowing is so incredibly disturbing, like Freddy Kruger in the FIRST movie when he Didn't talk... Let me share this with you. There is an issue in our neighborhood. We have theses two little girls who are sisters. And one little girl that lives across the way. From the sisters. K now, the oldest of the sisters I swear is satan. Fist of all you never see any other kids come to Their house. You never see bday parties , nothing. The father is a complete prick. Someone mentioned snowflake, that is a perfect word to describe this monster child. I call her a monster because I've seen how she bully's using the assumption tactic. She will assume some thing that's not true, turn around and tell her folks and they believe her. The girl is a sweet as pie to your face bully. So I instructed one of my girls that it's best to just not associate. Because no matter what my child does this girl will go back to the prick of a father and make up a boat load of bs. Talk about bad parenting? It's bad enough my kid has to deal with her in the neighborhood but she's on the same middle school team as my one girl for the next 3 years. This is what I did. I called the bus garage and got my kids seat changed. I called the school and asked if my kid was stuck in classes with the negative demon for the next 3 years? I explained behind the scenes and in confidence without my child knowing what I did the tactics of this snowfake.. Lol. The counselor told me she agrees about me not wanting them in class together it's taxing enough to deal with the bs in the hood. All I have to do is call back in late May and remind them to not put my daughter in any classes with her. That's awesome. I realize I can't protect my child for life this way, but on this case I can. The tween years are very important for self esteem and growth. My child is a bright girl who does not need drama bs dragging her down. Now the 3rd girl in the hood is just as bad. Her mom is the type of mom that's has had 4 husbands. Kid by each husband. Oldest kid killed himself recently. K.. Pretty much scum of the earth. Manipulative little snowfake here too. Since my daughter has so many friends staying away has been easy and not associating gives these people nothing to pin on my kid. Cause manipulative children are known to do that. Really ask yourself if this little girl is worth it? If the parent is as you say, the child will most likely turn out to emulate the mothers behavior. Quite seriously I'd simply stay the heck AWAY. Let your kid foster other healthy relationships. Much better for her long term personal growth. My apology for the babble. Lol. Good luck. Mea :-) Edited November 16, 2013 by mea_M 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyLeigh1967 Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 Yeah, it is not a good idea to have the child over to your house. Let them be friends at school, under supervision of the teachers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ComingInHot Posted November 17, 2013 Author Share Posted November 17, 2013 I'm going the route of not having any contact w/this little girl Or family outside of school. This mother IS hearing "something" from her step daughter and (gulp) it is a possibility, that this little one could be how mea M described. It's been a great, stress free weekend so far and today my H & I are taking the kids to "the largest Christmas store in the world"!! (It actually could say "country" but I forget.. Maybe, if... never mind. No speculating about the future yet.... I just like it when everything works out and we ALL live happily ever after. My incessant opptimism I guess* Link to post Share on other sites
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