Weird question

[Monica]

What is you had recently started seeing a guy and he had always been extremely attentive, cute and sexy. You seemed to be getting along just fine. Then one night he was completely different.

 

Then he works non stop with many shifts consecutively for about 10 days, no days off very very little sleep.

 

So you invite him over for dinner, then you're sitting on the couch and you say a movie would be fun, and he says well if it was "porn". I said what? he says repeats it.

 

I got upset. I know he's been exhausted and as they say "punchy", he said he was just joking.

 

I said I can't believe you would say that while I'm sitting here(meaning am I not attractive enough that we have to watch porn). He said he didn't mean it at all like that and he was sorry.

 

He meant he was bored and it would be funny. Porn isn't funny. And I don't think we even have dated long enough to share an experience like that (which I have done before and dont' care either way) And I don't think the joke was either.

 

I am not a guy friend. I am a girlfriend.

 

What do you all think? I know he was tired to the point of exhaustion and wasn't himself that whole night. But am I blowing this out of proportion?

[ashesmum]

Let it be this time. He obviously knows how you feel. If it happens again then you'll know. As for you guys barely doing anything all the time, get used to it. Relationships change when the "comfortable" stage comes to mind.

What is you had recently started seeing a guy and he had always been extremely attentive, cute and sexy. You seemed to be getting along just fine. Then one night he was completely different.

 

Then he works non stop with many shifts consecutively for about 10 days, no days off very very little sleep. So you invite him over for dinner, then you're sitting on the couch and you say a movie would be fun, and he says well if it was "porn". I said what? he says repeats it. I got upset. I know he's been exhausted and as they say "punchy", he said he was just joking. I said I can't believe you would say that while I'm sitting here(meaning am I not attractive enough that we have to watch porn). He said he didn't mean it at all like that and he was sorry.

 

He meant he was bored and it would be funny. Porn isn't funny. And I don't think we even have dated long enough to share an experience like that (which I have done before and dont' care either way) And I don't think the joke was either.

 

I am not a guy friend. I am a girlfriend.

 

What do you all think? I know he was tired to the point of exhaustion and wasn't himself that whole night. But am I blowing this out of proportion?

[Beesting]

Well, guys have a different attitude towards porn than most women. It's not exploitative to them, it's just entertaining adn arousing. I think he was just making a joke.

 

I'm a woman and I don't mind porn. I think it's fine. The women who work in that industry are consenting adults and they have made the choice to make money by using their bodies - it's the oldest trick in the book.

 

Just relax. His distance may have more to do with money woes than you. Try to talk to him about it in a relaxed setting - if you overreact to little situations like this when he's already stressed, he may be apt to stop trying to communicate at all (another very male trait). So try to make it so that you're easy to talk to, especially in times of stress. It can open up your relationship and bring you closer together.

[Tony T]

It sounds like he was a bit tired. He probably did not think before he spoke. He may feel very comfortable around you, maybe too much considering the short time you have been dating.

 

Looking at adult movies, or porn, is something that many couples do together to get excited. That usually comes later on in the relationship. But he may have mentioned it to see what your reaction would be...or he may have meant it as a flirtatious remark.

 

You are reacting a little much about this first indiscretion. However, if he does this again and it is offensive, let him know you are not amused and you won't have it. A third time should be your cue to be out the door.

[strawberry]

 

i think you are just a little...but if you dont want to watch porn he should respect that and not mention it until you are ready or you want to, if at all. Sometimes men like to watch porn with thier girlfriends because they feel it makes their girlfriend "hornier" or whatever. Maybe he used to watch it with his ex and they both really enjoyed it..You should ask him about that.