Where did I go wrong?

[Uncle Cthulhu]

A few months ago I began my degree program at The Art Institute of Las Vegas and right away I began making alot of friends, one in particular has become quite dear to me and it happened so fast. I've done nothing more than to be there for her, to show that I really care about her. I've asked her if she felt I was doing too much, if I was calling too much, if she felt I was being too pushy, and she really didn't seem to think so. You see, I can understand if she feels that she needs her time apart from me because we have been around eachother an awful lot, but if she had only been honest with me and communicated clearly with me exactly how she felt then I wouldn't be in this position now. I'm just completely utterly flabbergasted because we were getting along so well, and then all of the sudden she doesn't want to talk to me, she doesn't want me even emailing her or anything - for a while anyway. And for some completely unknown reason she keeps saying that I am so "insisting" and I've never demanded a single thing from her, I've only asked some very minimal things from her and expected nothing. It was only a week ago that I gave so much to her, myself, my time, my money - everything. I just don't get it. Why did she have to do this right at this time of the year? Especially when I'm already so alone and broken. She just said the words and made it so much worse.

 

What's the deal? Can I get a little help here?

[tattoomytoe]

treat her like a piece of s*** and she will turn back to you.

 

my theory: if your normal aproach fails, do the opposite.

[LucreziaBorgia]

if she had only been honest with me and communicated clearly

 

Unfortunately, her communication was clear:

 

all of the sudden she doesn't want to talk to me, she doesn't want me even emailing her or anything - for a while anyway. And for some completely unknown reason she keeps saying that I am so "insisting"

 

Its too bad that she just didn't get to the honest part and tell you why she was communicating with you in this way. The least she could have done was to tell you the truth - but like I've said before, people are more willing to chew off their own arm or leg before they'll look you in the face and tell you the truth about not wanting to be with you. No one wants to be the jerk in a situation, so instead of telling the truth you get lame excuses in the hopes that you won't think that they are jerks for turning you down or hurting you.

[Uncle Cthulhu]

Originally posted by tattoomytoe

treat her like a piece of s*** and she will turn back to you.

I don't think I want to go too far with it, but I definitely want her to understand that she is as much to blame here as I am, if not even more.

 

Basically I was giving as much as I could possibly give, and I was alright with that because I figured eventually she will return the favor, but instead she has the gull to say that I was demanding too much out of her.

 

Oh and off-topic but she likes to eat subway sandwiches with salami, pepperoni, and crab salad.

[Uncle Cthulhu]

Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia

Unfortunately, her communication was clear

Oh it was now, but what I mean is it should've been before. She could've said earlier on that I needed to back off a bit. And she didn't need to be mean about it. She could've just said that she needed some time to herself.

 

Its too bad that she just didn't get to the honest part and tell you why she was communicating with you in this way.

Nah, I don't think that's the issue at all. She was being honest, she told me pretty clearly what the deal was, but I don't understand exactly why she feels that way I just don't think she's judging the situation very fairly and I feel she's being very selfish. So I'm having trouble understanding precisely why she needs her distance, what exactly it was that I did, because this happened really sudden. It was completely unexpected. At the time I was just calling her to see if she might have a little free time sometime this week because I had a gift to deliver to her, but of course I couldn't tell her that.

 

I geuss what I need is a mediator, someone to communicate back and forth between us.

[tattoomytoe]

Originally posted by Uncle Cthulhu

Oh and off-topic but she likes to eat subway sandwiches with salami, pepperoni, and crab salad.

 

Ahhhh, get rid of this freak now!

[LucreziaBorgia]

Originally posted by Uncle Cthulhu

She was being honest, she told me pretty clearly what the deal was

 

Did she come right out and say that she didn't want to date you or be your girlfriend? Maybe she thinks that is what you are trying to push for and is trying to discourage that - I know that if some guy starts getting really insistent on being my friend - or being needy about it, then something weird is going on. Friendships can't be forced. If you reach a point where you are having to make a serious effort to keep someone as a friend, you may want to consider that there is probably a reason for it and pushing it is not a good idea.

[Uncle Cthulhu]

Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia

Did she come right out and say that she didn't want to date you or be your girlfriend? Maybe she thinks that is what you are trying to push for and is trying to discourage that - I know that if some guy starts getting really insistent on being my friend - or being needy about it, then something weird is going on. Friendships can't be forced. If you reach a point where you are having to make a serious effort to keep someone as a friend, you may want to consider that there is probably a reason for it and pushing it is not a good idea.

Ya know, I think you could very well be right about this.

[Uncle Cthulhu]

Originally posted by tattoomytoe

Ahhhh, get rid of this freak now!

Well she only did it once. She is a wierd one though I'll tell you that. But hey, what do you expect, she's a really geeky gothic chic from Greece.

[Uncle Cthulhu]

Originally posted by Uncle Cthulhu

Ya know, I think you could very well be right about this.

You are right about that. That thought hadn't even crossed my mind. Thank you. I suppose she was right to do what she did, and hopefully our friendship will be all the better for it.

[RowanRavyn]

Ok, not at all on subject.

 

But I love your user name!

 

My honey is going to the Expression College of Digital Arts (Formerly the E'xpression Center for New Media) what are you studying?

[Uncle Cthulhu]

Originally posted by RowanRavyn

Ok, not at all on subject.

 

But I love your user name!

Oh thank you, credit belongs to the artist who made the fantastic render that is my avatar.

 

My honey is going to the Expression College of Digital Arts (Formerly the E'xpression Center for New Media) what are you studying?

I am studying Fine Art and Animation. After I'm done with this degree I'll probably be going further into art, do more painting classes, sculpting, etc. And then after I've done all of that for a while I'd like to further into filmmaking, I would like to write and direct, I figure this animation degree will give me the tools necessary to put exactly what I want to see on the screen. There's just so much I want to do and I want to be very best at everything.

[Uncle Cthulhu]

Well I've talked with her now and I think we have an understanding of eachother. Things aren't perfect between us yet, but far from unsalvageable.

 

It's that time of the year when I really feel I shouldn't be selfish, a time when I don't feel comfortable asking for much of anything even though I do feel very needy, it's a time when I should be giving but all I have to give is myself and it seems that nobody I care about wants me around. But I geuss my friends shouldn't have to worry about me right now, they should be with their families...I wish I had family that cared about me but instead I have a sister who wants to be away from me all the time and I have a mother that's constantly beating me down emotionally, and sometimes physically.

 

Not that she can really hurt me physically but she really makes me feel like hitting back and it's very hard to restrain myself sometimes, but I do it. In fact just about an hour ago I asked for a simple ride to see my father and on the way there we began to talk about how I feel that she's draining me and that I can't afford to give anything more to her, that she's been moping around the house for too long and it's time for her to quit depending so much on other people. And she hit me in the face as hard as she could, giving me a slight bloody nose and then threatened to throw me out on the street tonight, and I didn't even get an apology, which I wouldn't want anyway because it wouldn't be sincere.

 

I really could use someone to talk to right about now, but instead I find myself so alone. But at least I'm alive, at least my friends havn't abandoned me completely, at least I can't be dumped because I'm not romantically involved with anyone right now.

 

I wish I could feel really happy right now, but maybe being alone and emotionally numb for awhile will suffice. Or I could just drink the rest of my Captain Morgan's and play Halo 2 all night long.