kanga Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 Despite overanalyzing the sitution and looking at it straight forward -- I have decided that i gotta have "the talk." I've been putting it off for too long, and I'm at the point where I'm starting to not enjoy spending time with him. The lingering questions and confusion just get in the way. So here's the thought I have -- if someone feels the need to have the talk, then that means the answer is already out there. Two people who want to move to that next level -- they don't need to have the talk. They're on the same page. They want the same thing right then and right there. Or is this just me being pessimistic?
tattoomytoe Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 i do not understand? you do not enjoy his company, but you want to be a lover , not just a friend?
Author kanga Posted December 23, 2004 Author Posted December 23, 2004 no. no. no. i DO enjoy his company. A LOT. BUT ... not knowing what the future will be (if he wants to be in a relationship), i just feel so confused that when I am with him, that issue is just always there and it keeps me from being really open and having more fun. I want us to be more than friends. I want us to be bf/gf.
tattoomytoe Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 that was what i was thinking, the whole conflicting thing....just making sure.
Author kanga Posted December 23, 2004 Author Posted December 23, 2004 sooo .... am i right in my take about this need to find out from him about the status of our friendship/future (or not) relationship? OR Instead of saying to him, "where do you want this to go?" Maybe I should take the lead and say, "I want a relationship with you. Etc. Etc." Could all this confusion and conflict be a part of him waiting for me to initate the subject? Anyone have stories or tales about having the relationship conversation? What was the result? I'd love to hear personal anecdotes.
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 Originally posted by kanga Could all this confusion and conflict be a part of him waiting for me to initate the subject? I would wager it is. Sometimes love comes with 'wishful thinking' attached. You are hoping that he will want the same thing you do, and will tell you so without you having to bring it up. You never know - he may very well feel that way, but there is no need to second guess stuff like that where relationships are concerned. If you want to know where the relationship is going, ask him. Tell him how you feel and you want to know if there is a chance to move it up to the next level. If he hedges, or gives you the "I"m confused" line - or any number of things to make sure your relationship stays in this state of inertia, then it will be up to you to break that inertia. If you aren't comfortable with continuing the relationship the way that it is, then you'll need to be clear about that with him. No beating around the bush.
Recommended Posts