mr314man Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Greetings everybody, Collateral damage means the loss of regular contact with in-laws, step-in-laws, neighbors, etc. I'm recently divorced and chose to remain and restart in the city where my girls are. It turns out that the EX and all her family are in this area and, of course, around this time of the year we'd be seeing them all. I have terrific alternative plans this year for Christmas this year and will have my girls Christmas Day. My question is this: I'm thinking of contacting one of them, an ex-bro-in-law, to say hello, everything is OK, etc. I'm sure there's enough awkwardenss to spread all around regarding the divorce, her new live-in BF, the kid exchange, the schedule, etc... BTW, my Ex-Father-in Law is my boss. I'm thinking of carefully e-mailing one ex-in-law a very short well written note. I know this person will "spread the word." I also ponder if she were to contact my family, what would she say? How would I feel? How would they accept the communication? (They'd probably Fed-Ex her a lump o' coal) I'm sure there are more than a few people on this board perplexed about contact and collateral damage. If you want to read my rant, its on another post, something about MW and MM questions... search my name. Merry Christmas to everybody. If that means nothing to you, it should. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 my thought is that no matter how badly things went with your spouse/SO, you shouldn't let any negative feelings run over into your relationship with others you are connected to through that person. ESPECIALLY if there are little ones involved. I think a short sincere Christmas greeting is just the thing to let your former in-laws know you are thinking of them and that you don't hold them accountable for your failed relationship with their daughter/sister/niece. In fact, I think that'd be a wonderful opportunity to be an example to your children in how to graciously deal with their relatives you're no longer related to. It also has an added bonus of calming their fears that they shouldn't still love or care for their family just because of what went on between you and their mom. take the high road on this one: everyone wins. you have a wonderful Christmas, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts