BlessYourCottonSocks Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 When in a serious relationship, how often do you tell the other person you love them? Do they say it back when you do? And if they don't, how do you feel?
teee Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Countless times a day. And depending on the context we always respond. 1
d0nnivain Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 A lot. At a minimum: in the morning when leaving for work, at the end of every phone call; at night when we see each other again after work, & before falling asleep. 2
Shepp Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 When in a serious relationship, how often do you tell the other person you love them? A fair bit! No idea how many times. But always along with saying bye and goodnight. Do they say it back when you do? And if they don't, how do you feel? She would generally respond, unless like if I'm messing about, like If I put an empty box back in the cupboard she'll come and throw it at me and I'll be like "love you" and she'll be like "your a tw"t" to be honest it probably goes something like this is probably like 50% of the time we say I love you to each other
jphcbpa Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Agree with above on frequency. Sometimes I will text her "loving you" and just leave it. Sometimes I will say, "I love you" and she will respond "thank you" Thank you to us means more please. When I say "I love you" it is great to hear it back, but not the reason I say it. If I feel it, I say it. No response is necessary. I know she loves me. 1
Shepp Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Sometimes I will say, "I love you" and she will respond "thank you" Haha I do that to p!ss my girlfriend off, i'll be like "thanks" or "Well you are only human" its fine, she knows I love her!
Silly_Girl Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 Some days it doesn't happen (I don't consider bog standard 'love you' on end of text/call a genuine ILY). But it happens most days, generally in person, and sincerely.
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 I'm a very expressive guy so all the time among other things, I always share my feelings and touch base w my SO as well.
cocorico Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 When in a serious relationship, how often do you tell the other person you love them? Do they say it back when you do? And if they don't, how do you feel? We say it whenever we are within earshot of each other, because we spontaneously want to. Even if we just said it moments earlier. It's OTT and unnecessary I'm sure, but words of affirmation is one of his love languages and it's something I've come to enjoy, too.
regine_phalange Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 I say it relatively rarely. I mean, I feel this is a word with a lot of weight, every time I said it I felt like a was making a small confession. I guess I am a bit shy. Well, and when it is said to me and I feel the same, I always reprocitate. But I'd rather it would not be said to me very often, because I hate saying "me too", "love you too" all the time. Have received a lot of complains for saying all the time "me too"s. But it is not my fault that I have other frequency with this stuff, is it? 2
InnocentMan Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 Every day/text/phone call? How needy.... If you use it too often, it can lose all meaning and power. Then when you really need it, if you've ****ed up, you have nothing. I have no problem with people that feel the need to say it every 5 minutes, but those that need to always hear it have issues. 3
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted November 21, 2013 Author Posted November 21, 2013 (edited) I was hoping for answers to those who don't say it often... I don't say it often either, because IT DOES have a weight to it, it's not something that should just be thrown around or said because it's routine/habit. It sort of loses it's meaning. I tell my mom I love her everyday and I say it because I'm just so used to it. I mean, yes I love her, but when I say it, I don't really think about it. And it kind of means nothing, it's like when people say "How are you", not because they really want to know, but because they are so used to asking.. As far as in a relationship... My boyfriend says it at the most unexpected times and my heart sinks and I get a warming feeling that snuggles me and I almost turn into a cute little toddler that says, "AWW, I wuv wue toooooo". It's those times when I know it is the most sincere because he doesn't say it everyday. It's like a cherished surprise and a memory I can keep of that special moment. Edited November 21, 2013 by BlessYourCottonSocks 1
CherryT Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 (edited) Everyday. Multiple times a day. But not every hour. In the morning, and at night and sometimes in the middle of the day. My Fiance and I don't think because we say it often that we're just throwing it around. We both think it's important to put effort into expressing our love for one another both verbally and non-verbally. If I could tell him I love him all the time, I would. Because I do. Whether I say it in the morning or whether he sends me a midday text while I'm at work just to tell me "I love you"… the frequency doesn't make it less meaningful to us. My F is super funny and sometimes he'll do something ridiculous and i'll crack up and just say "god, i love you." I do and I appreciate him for who he is and how he adds so much love and happiness into my life. If you're with someone and you say i love you often and you feel it's losing it's meaning, I don't think it's the words... I rather be in a relationship that I'm in love with my partner wholeheartedly that I don't have to wait for special occasions in fear that it would lose it's meaning. I rather love it, enjoy it, realize everyday how lucky I am to be with my F. And yes, there are times that are unexpected, like when we're doing errands where he'll just stop me and take me aside, look me in the eyes and tell me how much he loves me. Those moments don't mean less because we say it often, in fact they mean a lot more. Edited November 21, 2013 by CherryT
Mascara Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 When I'm in a relationship that has reached the ILY stage, I say it often. I don't agree that it should be used sparingly. Once love exists, it's constant. It doesn't come and go. So why should the declarations. A reminder of love can be a daily thing without losing its power, and I wouldn't want to be with someone who felt they had to reserve it. 3
pteromom Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 Every day. I don't get the "use sparingly" mindset either. I *always* want my hubby to feel special and loved - I don't dole my love out as an infrequent treat. 4
todreaminblue Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 sigh..........one way i was able to tell my partner was cheating is he stopped saying he loved me.....he used to call so many times during the day just to hear my voice......i would be cheeky and make him laugh and he would say he loved me........and one day he just stopped......its how i knew something was up...i thought maybe because he says it first all the time he is sick of it..... so i started saying it first..........i would say luv ya...and there would be silence for a second......and he would say .....me too.......sad face inserted here...... i love you ....might be words that are said too much but when i say them i mean it .......i give my whole heart and i expect a heart back.......i dotn think the word love ever can have overkill it what you are comfortabel with that counts....... so every phone call.....at the start of the day ....so simple to say as a parting word kiss.....you never know what could happen........life is so fleeting...i at least know if some thing happens to me i have told people who i love....that i love them......at the end of the day .....you never let the sun go down on an argument or a harsh word........you tell the guy or girl next to you.......hey you know what...luv ya........and sleep with peace and comfort....if you dont wake or they dont wake the last word you ever shared with that very special person was love.......deb 1
nomadic_butterfly Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 When in a serious relationship, how often do you tell the other person you love them? Do they say it back when you do? And if they don't, how do you feel? Saying it too much in my opinion devalues it and a lot of people say it and don't mean it. I had an ex literally DEMAND I say it every day. Funny how quickly he "fell out of it." I don't calculate but we dated twice and I didn't mean it when I said it to the other guys. It's awful but I felt like dirt knowing these guys fell for me and I didn't feel the same and sometimes they would pressure me. I don't lie about this anymore and I haven't dated in ages. The second time the first love and I dated we didn't have to say it every day but said it enough to where it was special and tried to show it more in actions than words. 1
bentleychic Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 Multiple times a day, every day and yes, we always say it back when the other says it. 1
nomadic_butterfly Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 I was hoping for answers to those who don't say it often... I don't say it often either, because IT DOES have a weight to it, it's not something that should just be thrown around or said because it's routine/habit. It sort of loses it's meaning. I tell my mom I love her everyday and I say it because I'm just so used to it. I mean, yes I love her, but when I say it, I don't really think about it. And it kind of means nothing, it's like when people say "How are you", not because they really want to know, but because they are so used to asking.. As far as in a relationship... My boyfriend says it at the most unexpected times and my heart sinks and I get a warming feeling that snuggles me and I almost turn into a cute little toddler that says, "AWW, I wuv wue toooooo". It's those times when I know it is the most sincere because he doesn't say it everyday. It's like a cherished surprise and a memory I can keep of that special moment. Yea, to each his own really. I don;t NEED to hear it every day although I wouldn't object to it. Action is one of my core love languages so I'd rather you show me because it is waaayyy to easy to say it verbally and not have actions congruent to the speech. If my partner needed to hear it every day, I guess I would acquiesce but to me it screams insecurity if I SHOW HIM every day.
bentleychic Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 i love you ....might be words that are said too much but when i say them i mean it .......i give my whole heart and i expect a heart back.......i dotn think the word love ever can have overkill it what you are comfortabel with that counts....... so every phone call.....at the start of the day ....so simple to say as a parting word kiss.....you never know what could happen........life is so fleeting...i at least know if some thing happens to me i have told people who i love....that i love them......at the end of the day .....you never let the sun go down on an argument or a harsh word........you tell the guy or girl next to you.......hey you know what...luv ya........and sleep with peace and comfort....if you dont wake or they dont wake the last word you ever shared with that very special person was love.......deb Ditto. We say it at the end of every phone call, at the end of every text convo, when we're together, when we leave each other and sometimes just randomly if it hits me during the day I'll text or call to say I love him and vice versa. If I don't feel it, I don't say it. Never have. When I feel it (and I ALWAYS feel it, but sometimes stronger than others which is when I'll randomly text "I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and am so grateful to have you in my life." or something to that nature. 1
todreaminblue Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 Ditto. We say it at the end of every phone call, at the end of every text convo, when we're together, when we leave each other and sometimes just randomly if it hits me during the day I'll text or call to say I love him and vice versa. If I don't feel it, I don't say it. Never have. When I feel it (and I ALWAYS feel it, but sometimes stronger than others which is when I'll randomly text "I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and am so grateful to have you in my life." or something to that nature. too true......it doesnt have to be shakespearen odes of undying love and affection......let me count the ways i love thee.,......although that is pretty cool....smilin...... but a funny message sent off the cuff....with a just wanted to say you rock and i luv ya havea wonderful day....a see you soon with a smile attached......how can anyone not like that..makes you smile.....deb 1
Shepp Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 If you use it too often, it can lose all meaning and power. Then when you really need it, if you've ****ed up, you have nothing. I have no problem with people that feel the need to say it every 5 minutes, but those that need to always hear it have issues. I disagree, theres a difference between "Right i'm going to the track, love you babe" as I walk out the door and the more infrequent moments your like "God I am so in love with you". I mean it both times, thou the latter probably hits harder or has more 'power' as you say and id use the latter when I really want her to know it. But I mean it both times and it doesn't hurt me or cost me anything to say it, so why wouldn't I. We're partners, not housemates. Maybe you just mimic what your used to - I grew up with my mum & dad, nan & granddad, aunt & uncle, talking like that to each other - so maybe It seems normal and natural to me for that reason...Hell I tell my dog I love him when im going to work for the day/night.......is that just me?? I think, maybe especially because I see it so often in my work, but life can just blindside you out of no where. Obviously you cant live your life thinking like that (and I'm the one who spent a lot of time telling my girlfriend she shouldn't live life thinking like that) and for the most part I don't, I believe in fate, but the point stands that life's uncertain and the likelihood of me getting attacked by a escaped polar bear on my way to work - low, but fact of the matter is id rather of left the house with a "love you" than a "See ya"........to the girlfriend and the dog! 2
bentleychic Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 Maybe you just mimic what your used to - I grew up with my mum & dad, nan & granddad, aunt & uncle, talking like that to each other - so maybe It seems normal and natural to me for that reason...Hell I tell my dog I love him when im going to work for the day/night.......is that just me?? I think this can go the opposite as well. My family was NOT affectionate or loving once we were about 8 years old or so. I swore my family would never be like that. So now, if I love you, you're going to know it! Whether you're my kid, my significant other, my coworker, my friend, etc. And you're right. There's no time like the present to tell someone how you feel! Anything can happen to anyone at any time. (I have experiences in my life with that THIS past few weeks, actually. Young people passing away in my life that were taken way too young.)
CherryT Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 Maybe you just mimic what your used to - I grew up with my mum & dad, nan & granddad, aunt & uncle, talking like that to each other - so maybe It seems normal and natural to me for that reason...Hell I tell my dog I love him when im going to work for the day/night.......is that just me?? This got me cracking up because I do the same thing!! I love my dog and I talk her like she's a human and completely understands me! hahhaha You got a really good point. My family is very much the same. Even now, as my siblings and I are all grown… we always get off the phone with our parents with an I love you. And when we leave after seeing them it's always a hug and a kiss on the cheek with a "love you. Talk to you later". So perhaps it is what feels natural. 3
Shepp Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 I think this can go the opposite as well. My family was NOT affectionate or loving once we were about 8 years old or so. I swore my family would never be like that. So now, if I love you, you're going to know it! Whether you're my kid, my significant other, my coworker, my friend, etc. Yeah good point! And you're right. There's no time like the present to tell someone how you feel! Anything can happen to anyone at any time. (I have experiences in my life with that THIS past few weeks, actually. Young people passing away in my life that were taken way too young.) Totally! Me too - well not this week, but I have known people who've lost their lives way too soon. The thing ive seen a few times at work that always hits home is when your at a car collision with an unconscious victim and we're doing our thing to get the paramedics access to inside the car and you can hear the mobile phones ringing, people obviously wondering where there friend or boyfriend or daughter or whatever is - never fails to give me chills when that happens.....if thats not a reason to tell the people you love you love them then I don't know what is! ___________________ This got me cracking up because I do the same thing!! I love my dog and I talk her like she's a human and completely understands me! hahhaha hahah yeahhh totally!! My dog chats to me, I'll be like 'see you later mate, love you' and he'll do this little high pitched "mallllwwaa" noise that CLEARLY means "bye Alfie, have a really nice day at work. I'll just wait here for you" You got a really good point. My family is very much the same. Even now, as my siblings and I are all grown… we always get off the phone with our parents with an I love you. And when we leave after seeing them it's always a hug and a kiss on the cheek with a "love you. Talk to you later". So perhaps it is what feels natural. Yeah me too, and I'd of never said my family was over affectionate, just an average amount but I think it would feel weird not to say it!! Even like when I'm saying bye to my brother I'll be like "catch you later, love ya bro", it just kinda rolls off the tounge.
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