what should i do?

[tranz]

i've been in a new relationship with my colleague (whom i've known for a year). went steady with him for less than a month & still going of coz. the thing is, i was hesistant abt going into a relationship in the first place cos i was most worried about things which would normally happen in a relationship will happen. It is barely a month and i'm already in a dilemna. sometimes i asked myself if i was wrong in going steady with this guy??? people say the courting stage is always the sweetest stage. this is true and i've passed that stage, now i'm experiencing a kind of confusion and frustration. are all guys like dat? i mean, why r guys so 'sensitive' & nice to girls in the start of a relationship & yet become so insensitive later on?? he used to call me & give me pages everyday but now he doesn't. he seems to have a 'do not care' kind of attitude right now. & it's only less than a month. i'm already beginning to feel the strain. i feel f*** up. i try very hard not to show my anger cos i know if i do, we will end up quarrelling - & this is something which i do not wish to happen. there was this particular nite where i felt exceptionally sick, i can feel the anger inside me boiling, as well as loads of sadness. what should i do? should i leave him or should i continue? should i follow what my head says or should i follow my heart? i feel very terrible. very very very terrible. i do have my regrets now.

[Ryan]

You've only been with this guy for a month and you talk like it is a marriage on the rocks. If it's not working, pack up and move on! It's not like you have a huge investment here. You tried a relationship with this guy and it's simply not going well. That's how life works...you make attempts at relationships and learn from the mistakes and failures that result. If this guy isn't treating you the way you feel is right after only a month, then you are seeing the true colors coming through after the fake sugar coating. This doesn't make him representative for all men, it just means he isn't right for you.

[jackie ceaser]

I met this guy back in January, we hang together a lot, we talk to each other twice daily, on the weekends either he we spend most of our time together being that we both work week days. We go bowling out to dinner, watch movies, that type of stuff. I have had a plant delivered to his job, i've done everything I could possibly win him over. Last week the subject came up about relationships, he says that he doesn't want to be in a relationship because all of his relationships in the past were bad ones, I believe that he is afraid that I will hurt him. I really like him a lot, we announce ourselves as just friends. What can I do to gain his trust.

 

[tranz]

hi jackie, i'm sorry i can't help but i can give u some advice from my point of view. since this guy isn't ready for a relationship, don't force him. give him time & space - or u may end up losing him instead. as for you, take things one step at a time, i understand how it feels like to be waiting for a guy whom u like or love to accept u (i have a friend who has been waiting for 2 years & is still waiting). time will tell. but in the meantime, please keep your options open.

 

take care

 

ps : i wasn't ready for a relationship either cos i had bad experiences, now that i am into one again (it was a rather hasty decision), i'm having some kind of problems & perhaps regrets. so remember, don't rush things.