Reesa Posted January 20, 2001 Share Posted January 20, 2001 Is it possible to find your soulmate online? I've have been fighting my feelings, but its a battle I can't win. My heart has totally taken over! I have never heard his voice and the only thing I have is his picture....Could this develop into something more or am I just wasting my time and emotions on a love that can never be? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 20, 2001 Share Posted January 20, 2001 What you think you're in love with is an image in your mind...an idea...an intangible notion of who you think this person is typing at the other end. Could be a woman for all you know. Yes, you have a picture...but how do you know it's a picture of the person you've been chatting with online? People online are infamous for sending pictures of other people as themselves. And why haven't the two of you talked on the phone? How could you possibly give such an important aspect of your being, the very core of you, the most precious thing you could ever bestow on another human being...to a cluster of gray type on the face of a computer screen??? You certainly may be in love, but it is of your creation for something that is of your creation. I think you can find your soulmate online but if you don't get to talk to him on the phone very soon thereafter and if you don't get to meet within a month or so of first talking on the net, then there can be a serious suspicion of dishonesty. The only exception is if the person lives overseas. Domestic flights are very inexpensive and certainly $100-$350 is a small price to pay for meeting your soulmate. If this guy lives overseas, pursuing the matter is highly impractical. I wouldn't waste another week with this crap. You are simply addicted now to those chemicals in your brain which you have created. Either meet this guy in person within a week or two or stop wasting your time. This is bizarre. But don't feel bad, people do it everyday. Life is amazing. Link to post Share on other sites
Reesa Posted January 20, 2001 Share Posted January 20, 2001 Thank you Tony for knocking me back to reality! I had my head so far up in the clouds that i didn't realize how ridiuclous my thoughts about love oline are. I guess sometimes we get so wrapped up in the fear of being lonely that we latch on to the first thing that seems like going to bring us out of the loneliness. Thank you for being frank with me. Link to post Share on other sites
MaGz Posted January 20, 2001 Share Posted January 20, 2001 yeh it is possible to meet your sole mate online...i did! me and my bf went out as a net fling thingy for almost 8 months just e-mail and letters and msn messageing b4 we talked on the phone and then we decided to talk on the phone for a couple more months b4 we met just cuz u hear o many dan stories about physcos but we took cations cuz i wanted the space...and we were both in real life relationships...but we both loved eachother at the time and still do love eachother in person in out own house to this day...im just saying dont let lil things like u met him in chat discourage you from finding out if hes the one from you...thats just my opinion but hey u can take it or leave it!! Is it possible to find your soulmate online? I've have been fighting my feelings, but its a battle I can't win. My heart has totally taken over! I have never heard his voice and the only thing I have is his picture....Could this develop into something more or am I just wasting my time and emotions on a love that can never be? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 20, 2001 Share Posted January 20, 2001 Hey, MaGz: Your story is terrific...congratulations. There are certainly some success stories out there. And people win the lottery too. What happened to you was far better than winning millions of dollars. However, despite the successes, I think people are really flirting with screwing themselves up emotionally to create all kinds of things in their head about what's going on in front of them on the computer screen. From everything I have seen and read on the net, magazines, TV, psychology papers, newspaper reports, etc., your expeerience seems unusual. It is a major major gamble to carry on an online relationship for any length of time without a phone conversation and an early-on meeting. While you are absolutely luckier than most, finding that in-person chemistry that is an essential ingredient of any relationship is critically important. The greatest majority (say 90 percent) of the people I talk to on and offline who end up meeting their online honeys in person are indifferent to disappointed upon the first in person meeting or soon after. Of the others, I have no idea how many felt a great pressure or obligation...or just an incredible desire...to make something out of the situation because of the previous time spent talking to that person online or on the phone. Yes, you can for sure meet your soulmate on the Internet...or even by accidentally walking into the men's room at Dennys. I also think you were a lot more realistic in your online courting. Your expectations may have been far more realistic. While you called yours a "net fling thingy," Reesa is out of her mind in love...and that's setting herself up for some real emotional problems if this deal takes a dump at first meeting...if there ever is one. Until you met this guy in person, everything you felt about him was in your mind and nowhere else. If Reesa can bring herself back to earth, where I think she is returning, this could possibly work out for her. But she shouldn't judge those possibilities from other people's experiences. Any way you look at it, it's a serious gamble. Hell, in-person love is quite a risk. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 20, 2001 Share Posted January 20, 2001 Reesa: If you have a problem with being lonely...and nobody likes that feeling...take your life away from the computer and move it outdoors into the real world. Get your friends to introduce you to people. Go to the malls and flirt. Do things to bring you face to face with guys you can get interested in. You need to get this online friend of yours to meet you in person very soon. Maybe he is somebody you will be attracted to and will be worth pursuing. I'm real glad you're bringing your emotions back to ground level here...until you get to know the guy in person. Link to post Share on other sites
Yumi Posted January 20, 2001 Share Posted January 20, 2001 Be warned that most online relationships, like many real life relationships, don't work out. And yes there is a potential for danger and all that. BUT there are happy people who met online! I recently met MY online love, and loved him even more in person! BUT... you have to be careful... in my case, this was someone who started as a friend and we talked for a long time with no romantic thoughts... for about 6 months we were casual "if we're online together we'll say hi" kind of friends, before we started talking more... it developed naturally, and as soon as he admitted his feelings ot me and I accpeted, we planned ot meet from the beginning. International calls are expensive, but we splurged a few times and sent each other MP3 voice messages. He got his friends to come on ICQ and talk to me too, and what they said about him and what he said about himself matched even in insignificant details... that made me feel a LOT more confident. And on our first meeting we just clicked. MaGz had a similar experince... sounds like she also took it slow and that is the key! Give this guy a chance, but as you would with any guy, pay attention to things that he says and does... does he make you fel comfortable? Wantd appreciated? OR do you get a creepy-vibe? Honestly, as with any other guy, trust your inner judgement... chances are you already know if this guy is anything CLOSE to what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
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