ssslide Posted December 24, 2004 Share Posted December 24, 2004 After falling for my bestfriend and thinking i would never get the chance to date her, something changed and we dated for the last three months. It was a blast, we were both really happy. Then all of a sudden around two weeks ago she started to seem a little distant. She still called me everyday but she seemed stressed and complained about how she has too much on her plate and she doesnt know what to do. So, i let her be, didnt really want to make her think she had any obligations to spending time with me instead of finishing her work and sorting things out. I went over to her and surprised her one night when she seemed really down, and she just seemed extremely exhausted. Then last thursday night she calls me and says that she hasnt been happy recently and she doesnt know why. She said she still loves me, but maybe we should breakup and then she can see if she misses me. Well I was shocked and heartbroken, we had literally been a couple for the last two years, doing everything together, talking on the phone for hours at a time, but had decided to make it official three months ago. Since last week i haven't talked to her at all, and she hasnt made any attempts either. I'm pretty sure her mom told her not to call me. I love her with all my heart, and she is my best friend. She was the closest thing to a soul mate and consequently also my first true love. I am a mess without her and I'd do anything to have her back. Is all lost? Do I need to just suck it up and move on? It's too painful for me to be just a friend to her so that option is ruled out. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted December 24, 2004 Share Posted December 24, 2004 I say give her some time...I can't say if you should or shouldn't contact her. I'm sure that some people will say go with "no contact" while others will disagree... I think you should maybe email her, tell her you miss her and hope she's okay but don't get mushy or too long or personal... Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 24, 2004 Share Posted December 24, 2004 Originally posted by ssslide It's too painful for me to be just a friend to her so that option is ruled out. Your only other option is to move on. She broke up with you. It doesn't matter why - she made it clear that she doesn't want to be with you regardless of what past you had together. Its unfortunate and sad when that happens. Particularly when there doesn't seem to be any good reason for it. I am quite sure she has her reasons, but would probably prefer not to share them with you in order to spare your feelings. If you want, you can try to contact her to let her know that you are thinking about her, and hope she is well and all that. I wouldn't push it any further than friendly concern at this point though. Once a person gives you the "we need to break up because I'm confused" talk, then pretty much any attempts you make at getting them back are bound to fail. The more emotional you are about it, the further you will push them away. Give it time. She may very well contact you after a time - when she has had some time away from you to think things over. Don't wait around for this to happen though - there is a good chance she won't be back. Try to get your heart back together in the meantime. Sorry that happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssslide Posted December 24, 2004 Author Share Posted December 24, 2004 Is that really the case? this relationship has already defied all odds as i was stuck in the friendzone for about a year and then all of a sudden it just happened. When she told me that night she was crying, or so it sounded like. She told me there wasnt anyone else, just maybe she moved too fast? Why couldnt she just talk to me about it instead of breaking up first? oh whatever its not even worth my time anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssslide Posted December 24, 2004 Author Share Posted December 24, 2004 thanks for the replies Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted December 24, 2004 Share Posted December 24, 2004 Oh, give me a break. You think you got problems? Try being me for a day. Then you'll see real problems, not this stupid artificial crap, "does she like me? or no?" My life = welcome to hell, not this petty crap. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted December 24, 2004 Share Posted December 24, 2004 You're very welcome... You say it's not worth your time and you can't figure out why she didn't talk to you instead of break up with you... I have to ask (if you don't mind) how old are the two of you... Now to address why she didn't just talk to you, honestly she is the only one who can give you the truth on that. Obviously it is something that she decided that she needed to do so she did it. I'm sorry she is leaving you without explanation and I'm sure that you really want to know but I agree the pain isn't worth your time but most of the time it isn't as easy to escape as all that. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted December 24, 2004 Share Posted December 24, 2004 Originally posted by VirginiaBob Oh, give me a break. You think you got problems? Try being me for a day. Then you'll see real problems, not this stupid artificial crap, "does she like me? or no?" My life = welcome to hell, not this petty crap. Dude if you can't be constructive then maybe you shouldn't respond. This guy didn't do anything to warrant flaming! Please try and be helpful instead of being rude! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssslide Posted December 24, 2004 Author Share Posted December 24, 2004 thanks buddy that was helpful! how about you roast down there with ur "real" problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssslide Posted December 24, 2004 Author Share Posted December 24, 2004 and thanks again barby. and yah we are young. Only 18. I know i got the rest of my life, but I miss my bestfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted December 24, 2004 Share Posted December 24, 2004 Yes you're young but obviously that doesn't take away the pain....maybe she feels that she needs to get out and experience new people/things...I know that isn't what you want to hear but maybe she was feeling trapped like she was missing out on something.... But once she comes to her senses if you two had a good relationship then she will probably be kicking herself in the a$$ realizing what she threw away. I still say email her a friendly email and leave it at that, allow her to contact you if that is what she wants to do, if not then you'll know. And ignore that dumb as$ poster seems like he has something stuck up his butt, your post isn't the only one he's been rude on! Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted December 24, 2004 Share Posted December 24, 2004 Barby, Yes, you life is so fricken' hunky dory and wonderfull that you don't know what it's like to have a woman turn you into a cold-hearted son of a you know what. So if you don't like my attitude, take it up with her. Link to post Share on other sites
qklrnr2233 Posted December 24, 2004 Share Posted December 24, 2004 seriously, virginiabob, are you some 14 year old punk, who has nothing better to do with his time??? I can see why you have serious problems in your life, you can't even keep your mouth shut...theres probably tons of people that are pissed off at you for that attitude... grow up as for your situation...I would say leave her an email or a call, and tell her you miss her, and let her call you back. If she doesnt, then she doesnt, and you know whats up, if she does, talk to her and see how things feel. (im basically restating what someone else said) Link to post Share on other sites
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