moved away now im back. 2nd chance possible? why she act like this?

[mixwell]

Here is the deal. I was with my ex girlfriend for 7 years. im going to break down what has happened kind of quick.

 

I moved out of state in September away from my ex. She said after 2 weeks that she couldn't handle it so she dumped me. Things were okay but then I really missed her and wanted to move back or have her move where i was but she wouldn't. So i decided that i liked it better where i was before and i moved back the beginning of December. Total i was gone about 2 months. Well when i was back there she started hanging out with some guy and all that and she seemed too busy for me all the time and got mad when i would talk about a relationship..

 

I thought that moving back here might solve things between us but it seems as though things are getting worse. I know she is still hurt and pissed off at me for moving away. So here are some weird actions shes done when we have hung out.

 

One day we went to the mall and went shopping in Fredricks of Hollywood (like Victoria's Secret),and she was trying on bras. She told me to come to the dressing room and see if I liked it. I said it looks fine and she then jiggled her breasts and looked at me and then went back into the dressing room. Later that day we went to eat and we were sitting there and I decided to hold her hand. I held her hand and she had a firm grip also unlike the weak uninterested grip I would have pictured. She had a weird look on her face though. So after we ate we decided to get some coffee. While I was driving I decided again to hold her hand but this time she asked why i was. I asked her if it bothered her and she said yes it does.

 

This is a different day now.... We went to get some coffee and we were chatting. She then started talking about how I didn't even give her any action the night before I had moved away. She was saying that if it were her how she would have banged one out as much as possible and all that. I was confused on why she would bring this to my attention. She had mentioned it before but I think it might be in a teasing manner. I dont think that she is mad because of that. So thats another weird thing.

 

Yet another day of hanging out with her... We went to eat at a fast food place. We were sitting there eating and i pulled a receipt out of my pocket and crumbled it up and threw it on the tray. (it was the receipt from the food) She asked me what it was and I said a receipt. She grabbed it and was looking at it. She acted though like we were going out and it was some secret or some girls number or whatever. I also was telling her that the night before i was hanging out with my other friend. (female) while we were eating she kept saying. you hooked up with her didn't you? I said no I didn't. So that was weird.

 

So I dont know what anyone things about the above actions but to me its weird. She said that she didn't want anything right now and that she is hurt still by me moving away. She says she doesnt care but then other times will admit to it and joke around sort of saying how she has no heart anymore and all that. Ive plead my case to her and said i was sorry for moving away and that i did move back because i wanted to see if we could maybe work things out. It seems though like now whenever I call her wont answer or return my calls. She hangs out with her other friends all the time and when I was her if she wants to hang out she always says I dont know or maybe. Then when i call her to see she says no or shes busy. She says that she doesnt like to hang out with me because I always talk about us and I told her that I wouldn't do that anymore.

 

She just seems to make excuses though to not hang out with me all the sudden. this has happened within like a week. When i first got back we'd go eat and what not, but now this week she's all busy and all that. I know i should respect her decisions but I dont see how 2 people that were that close for 7 years could be like that. I dont know if when we hung out if she thought she could handle it but found out now she can't or what but she's been blowing me off this whole week when i want to hang out.

 

Do you think she just wants her space or what ? I know she is hurt but she never opens up to me or lets me know 100% how she feels. Its hard to decipher whats going on with her because I get hardly any feedback from her when i ask her things. Her favorite answer is "I dont know" I think she's just hiding her feelings because she doesn't want to get hurt again. The thing that gets me though is if she would have waited 3 more weeks then I would have moved back. At the time of the breakup I hadn't decided to move back. Then once I decided too at that point she more or less said that she didn't want a boyfriend. However when we first broke up I had asked her if i moved back then what and she said that we could continue and pick things back up. That isn't the case though. I can understand that she is hurt but shes being a real a**h*** to me about it. I would've thought she would be happy with me moving back, but she just seems even more avoiding.

 

So I'm not going to call her except for xmas and new years. Im going to back off and give her space. I call her a lot and I guess I haven't really given her a chance to miss me. I know she does though and cares because I had went to the movies last night with 5 of my guy friends and she asked who i went with. So shes still jealous and it makes me angry because were not together because of her and she doesn't want to be together but she still acts jealous. Im confused.

 

So let me know what you all think about it ! Thanks !

[Barby]

Honestly maybe she could have been hanging out with you because she missed you and wanted to see if she still felt the same. Maybe her blowing you off is a sign that she isn't interested anymore. Maybe she just isn't feeling the same as she used to?!!

 

 

I think giving her space and letting her contact you is the best thing to do in this situation.

[mixwell]

thanks for the advice barby.. do you really think that 7 years she coulda just lost it??? i mean we grew up together !! im only 21... she was way into me also. she was actually going to move back with me but i decided that she should stay and keep her job because she had some money issues... i dont know you could be right though maybe she just doesnt want anything but im just going to try and feel it out !

 

Thanks

[head/heels]

here is the end all to end all of the post you need///

 

she still loves you she is hurt by what you did..she will hold it against you for a long time...she may even sleep around to hurt you back......

 

so here is what you do to her jealous rear.....

 

you move on

 

 

thats right....no contact, no calling, no gifts no texts no emails no stop bys , no drive bys, no talking to mutual friends about her, no nothing................... and be prepared for her to ring you in a coulple of days or weeks....when she does she is gonna either

a. ask why you havent called

b. say "i know that you arent calling me on purpose"

 

so you have to reply and this is what you say with your straightest face (even though you are on the phone....) ok i mean with your stongest believable voice

 

i can tell by your actions that you have moved on from me and so i decided to move on also...i dont want to be with someone that doesnt want to be with me....i think you were right when you broke up with me and i take my end of the responsibility for it and i am enjoying the single life...then tell her thanks for calling but you have a busy night ( or day) to get ready for and wish her well.......thats it let her go

 

and then go out with your buds, or a girl and dont look back! she will either

a. believe you and take a week or a month to come around and start wondering how it was so easy for you to be done with her.

(in which case you will need to make it hard for her to come back to you so that she knows how close she was to losing you ---even though you were the one who left the area---if you dont she will see you as a pushover and wont respect you)

b. not believe you and if she wants to come back bad she will call you out and say you want her back and you know it...if this happens you must insist that she is wrong and brush her off strongly for the next few weeks and/or months...and then watch and let her work her way back into your life...i.e. let her believe she single handedly won you back when you were confused...because if you give in easily when she tries to get back with you (read: in the first 3 weeks to month) then she will think you are a pushover and will get back with you and become disinterested since it was so easy to come back to....

c. she will not believe you and she will hang up and play the game back at you...i.e. not call , not email ...NC....this is where is will be tough since you will have to let her go and still make her make the first move....you have an advantage here because you know that she still thinks about you even though you are not calling...she however will be wondering if she read you right when you said you thought she did the right thing and you want to be single at this point....she will hear that you are out with so and so and went to this with so and so and if you go out with a girl and she finds out then rest assured she will be wanting to kill the girl and get back with you...play it cool (as in i have accepted we are over since you wouldnt get back with me and this girl is cool and i enjoy her company!)

d. finally she could care less either way and she never wants to hear from you again and she is moving on...sadly if this is the case you still have to do no contact as it wont help to try to win her back as she has made up her mind...if you do succedd in changing it shewill resent you and later cheat or leave you for someone else....so i will only hurt you toget back with her...

 

there you go, a battle plan that if you stick with, i guarantee will work and she will start calling you

if you dont stick to it i am sure that she will not be going out with you but instead dogging you to her frineds, both girls and guys

 

hope you understand

good luck and post on here when you want to call her

d

[mixwell]

wow !! i think your right on the $$ heels. well as tough as it may be i promise that i will try my hardest to do NC and go by your "battle plan" it seems like a good plan and i really appreciate you taking the time to give me some insight and knowledge. I will post on here whenever i feel like calling her. (might be a lot of posts !! ) haha.. j/k i think what you say though is right. i get the vibes from her and all that and know she cares and is basically pissed off. Sometimes however i think she might be seeing someone else but I would be willing to bet on it that she isn't.. You know how our minds wander though with stuipd thoughts !! so anyways thanks a lot !!