gf cheated with best friend, I'm I a loser?

[fixing]

Yes, people who are cheated on often (if not almost always) have a part in relationship failure.

 

Read any "infidelity" story here. It is not frequent that you see perfect relationship then BOOM, cheating. Usually reasons for cheating are stated outright (lack of attention, lack of sex, less time together due to work, arguments, toxic atmosphere in a relationship) and even if they are not, usually some poking around the story would reveal some other holes.

 

That is good imo, because other person can learn from it and have less risk of it to happen again.

 

LOL, WHAT!?!? Biggest pile of horse **** i have read in a long time.

 

If the would-be cheater is not happy in the relationship he or she has two options A, talk to their partner about it, B, leave the partner. PERIOD.

 

Cheaters are nothing other then selfish, immoral, shallow, weak people. And if you/they have cheated once, 99% of the time you will have done it before and you will do it again.

 

So the only thing Dan (OP) learns from this is that he got burned by a no good filthy whore.

OP, try to think back in the relationship, were there any red flags there that you ignored/missed? Because those are the things you need to look out for in future relationships.

Try to get as much information as possible about your future Gf's past (Without being intrusive or stalkerish) and pay attention to to the little things that suggest she wants/likes alot of other mens attention/affection.

 

And OP, your not a loser, the only losers in this sad tale are your ex best friend who turned out to be a scumbag who thought first with his penis, and your slag of an ex. And they deserve eachother.

 

Dont ever let anybody tell you that BS 'You kinda contributed to her whorish ways cuz you were neglectful, didnt show her enough attention' and bla bla bla. ITS A COMPLETE COP OUT.

 

You'll be alright in the end kid. Just dont ever talk to her and that twat again.

Edited December 11, 2013 by fixing

[ThatMan]

I'm glad, because I favor forgiveness if possible. But I do want to point out something. From a relationship point of view you were closer to your friend than you were to your gf. And yet while you threw her away like a piece of garbage, you have at least partially reconciled with your friend. Think on this.

 

You can forgive and not be a doormat.

[Dinozzo925]

Just started talking to him a couple days ago but don't think I'll ever see him in the same way again. He'll just be an occasional friend I'll keep my eyes open when I start dating again. I think it's the fact that he's a member in the family and my parents being friends with his parents that makes it possible to work it out. If he was only an acquaintance then I would cut contact with him too.

 

DUDE NO!

 

Ok, well let me back up.

 

The same, exact same, thing happened to me. My girlfriend of two years and fiancé had a one night stand with my roommate/best friend in my house while I was away in Florida. She had all the best excuses (black-out drunk, only happened once, I was never home, we were fighting (since she almost got me charged with possession of her drugs out of carelessness), etc) and at one point she even claimed assault to try and get me back. I'm a Junior in college too. I found out at the beginning of THIS school year and was absolutely devastated.

 

First I fooled around with a couple of friends (and her friends), then I found someone awesome and got serious with them. I healed, processed what had happened to me, and now I feel SO much better than just a month or so ago. The girl I'm seeing is actually leaving tomorrow to head back to China, so I'm single I guess, but that's ok.

 

That's what I want to say, is that you will feel ok, there is light at the end of the tunnel. It's going to be bad for a while but once you get comfortable in a new life, with new friends and maybe even a new girl you will look back and see that your ex, and this jackass, have nothing for you anymore. There is a tinge of sadness, regret over lost opportunities and time, but you'll realize that you've learned, grown and become stronger. You will be more careful, but you will trust again. You will be more picky, but you will love again. You will hate that someone you loved betrayed you, but you'll be thankful you found out and that it happened before vows were exchanged.

 

But the biggest thing you will realize is that you are in college and being single is an opportunity, not a curse.

 

However,

 

If you keep in contact with this old friend, if you keep in contact with this ex, you won't be where I am. I know this because of all the times I broke NC, because of how I felt about it. Because of where I was before I went back to her bed and how I felt after I left it. But after keeping solid NC and taking a vacation, I played a show and she showed up, and when I saw her that time I knew I wanted to sleep with anyone that night but her. You need to stay away from your old life and build a new one, without her, its the only way you can really move forward.

 

I'm so sorry this happened to you. You will feel ok. Trust me. Look at my old posts and see the progression.

 

Now I have to get back to the dating section to ask for tips.

[FrankieFrank]

I'm glad, because I favor forgiveness if possible. But I do want to point out something. From a relationship point of view you were closer to your friend than you were to your gf. And yet while you threw her away like a piece of garbage, you have at least partially reconciled with your friend. Think on this.

 

Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing. You can have one without the other.

[sidney2718]

Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing. You can have one without the other.

 

You are right. I should have written "forgiveness" for "reconcilliation".

[yankees51988]

It's the worst thing your "best friend" and girl could do to you aside from your girl screwing a family member. Completely unacceptable, I'd hate them both for life.