ACrazyWorld Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 So I'm a 33 year old male. I have an average paying job and did graduate from college (although late). I was married young but my wife passed and I have maybe dated 2 people since. I spent most of my 20s in isolation due to severe bipolar and social anxiety. I also binge ate and got up to 360 pounds. In other words, I missed out a bunch of years after my wife passed. I basically build my own prison. I feel like there is no way for me to connect due to basicially 8 years or so of having noone around basically. I feel like a loser basiically. I have lost about 150 pounds and I am back on medication for the bipolar. My social skills are better but how does one connect when years have been spent avoiding connection. I guess I'm looking for some hope because I don't see much of it in my future. Thanks for listening. Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 (edited) So I'm a 33 year old male. I have an average paying job and did graduate from college (although late). I was married young but my wife passed and I have maybe dated 2 people since. I spent most of my 20s in isolation due to severe bipolar and social anxiety. I also binge ate and got up to 360 pounds. In other words, I missed out a bunch of years after my wife passed. I basically build my own prison. I feel like there is no way for me to connect due to basicially 8 years or so of having noone around basically. I feel like a loser basiically. I have lost about 150 pounds and I am back on medication for the bipolar. My social skills are better but how does one connect when years have been spent avoiding connection. I guess I'm looking for some hope because I don't see much of it in my future. Thanks for listening. Please don't give up. I can identify with much of this. I had an undiagnosed gluten intolerance for years (until just about 3 or so years ago) and lost years of my life due to that. First of all. Stop. Breathe. And give yourself credit for losing 150 pounds. That is an incredible accomplishment. I've lost 50 from where my baseline returned to after I went gluten free, and 100 from my very heaviest due to the gluten issues. Someone with the discipline to lose 150 pounds, is a person with incredible perseverance and discipline! Never call yourself that name that you called yourself again. It is not true. There are several of us here who also have social anxiety, or other disorders. I have a particularly "fun" case of Avoidant Personality Disorder myself. There is a book that I highly recommend you read called, "Love 2.0." And it really changed my whole approach with people (sounds too good to be true, but she uses a science based approach centering around the brain's response to even short moments of social contact with good eye-contact. Please, give it a shot. It does actually make the idea of approaching people a little less difficult. Perhaps see a counselor to help you with your social anxiety. The prison you have set yourself to try to keep yourself safe, is one that is penetrable What small social steps could you take in the next week? Edited November 16, 2013 by AnyaNova Link to post Share on other sites
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