aquablue32 Posted December 24, 2004 Share Posted December 24, 2004 Well, its Christmas Eve. I just got in yet another vicious fight with my husband. What if it's not bad enough to leave and not good enough to stay?? We have 2 kids under 4 years old. A nice house. blah blah blah. We cant afford to separate and lord knows, I dont want to be a single parent, but I am beginning to HATE this man!! He's immature, he doesnt listen to me - ever, he's lazy. He is a good father, but he drives me insane because he would be happy to sit on the couch all day and do nothing. His idea of bonding with our son is to watch TV together. I am so sick of this man, I have zero romantic feelings for him. I cringe when he touches me. We cant separate right now, even if we wanted to. If the kids werent here I'd have been long gone. Oh my god Im so miserable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted December 24, 2004 Share Posted December 24, 2004 Been there and done that. It's miserable to be in an unhappy marriage. Good news is that the happiness quotient is sometimes adjustable. Meaning, you can find the happiness again in some cases. First, I would suggest to you that you and your husband consider marriage counseling together. If that is not feasible at this time, there are still things you can do to improve your situation. Try http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3000_intro.html for some good information on strengthening the marriage. Also, consider reading some books on the marital relationship. Whatever it takes to get you thinking about putting some positive energy to work is a good thing. One of the most important things I've learned after spending nearly a decade in an emotionally dead relationship is that I could not control my partner. But I could control my expectations of what he should be doing and saying. I've been married over 20 years now, and I can tell you that you won't find the original guy you married unless you adopt an attitude that allows him to be himself. Just himself, not what you want him to be. So, these days, if the grass grows while he's taking a nap, I could care less what the neighbors think. Because he'll be a happier man when he wakes up. Sooner or later he'll get around to the lawnwork, and he won't be resenting and hating me while he's doing it. Maybe it's okay if your husband and your son do their bonding in front of the TV, just so long as they're getting the bonding part down. The trick is in finding what's good about each situation, and maybe applying the "Serenity Prayer" to the rest. Link to post Share on other sites
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