i'm lost

[jamie]

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. Recently he confessed to me that his feelings for me are not that strong anymore. I have been quite down these days and it made him real unhappy. I'm not sure if it's because I am too absorbed with wallowing in self pity that made him unhappy. I may not have been taking care of the relationship during this period, thus neglecting him. How can I spice things up again? When I made a fuss out of his comment, he got quite annoyed and told me it meant what it meant. He did not say anything else. Is he trying to make me do something? Because I don't want to dwell on his statement anymore .. I really want to do something about it. He means a lot to me ... I don't want to put pressure on him anymore because I keep loading my problems onto him. Am I being to touchy towards that statement? Pls give me some suggestions. Thanks

[Tony T]

No, you're not being too sensitive here. Your boyfriend has told you straight, honestly, and to your face that his feelings for you aren't what they once were.

 

I would take that pretty seriously. You need to have a good talk with him and see just where his feelings are. He may have been trying to tell you in a nice way that you would be better off moving on down the road.

 

You can't control people's feelings. You can't "work" to get his feelings to become strong again. You can only be yourself. Now, if you were neglecting the relationship, you need to find out if it's too late to get the it back on track. Sometimes, once feelings are lost it's very difficult to get them back.

 

So, if you remain with him, do what you can to nurture things back to good health. But if he can't resurrect his stronger feelings for you, I wouldn't waste a lot more time with him.

 

I know you have learned something here. You can't take love for granted. It needs nurturing or it can sure fade. This happens a lot but now you know the consquences and I know you won't let this happen again.

 

You should never make a big fuss out of someone's very honest comment. Getting that kind of information is critically important to a relationship. Much better he should tell you...maybe should have said something sooner...than to spring a break up on you all of a sudden, out of nowhere.