Na na na na poo poo

[HokeyReligions]

Most of the most valuahle itms had been removed or given away. But we finally got a key to BatCrapCrazy MIL house. I tagged some of the larger pieces of furniture for us. We'll hire movers in a couple of weeks (I have to make room at home). I'll Craigs list the stuff I'm selling. We brought home a car full of stuff yesterday and went back today.

 

I found what they missed. I have the lalique! There are some other nice pieces of crystal too. I also hauled home - to be sold in a private sale - five boxes of booze. Some opened some not. Lots of imports and some cheap stuff but all together I should get at least $1200 for all of it. I have one unopened bottle of scotch that sells for $250. (I am SOOO tempted to keep it. I like good scotch and I've had this before)

 

I also filled 17 huge trash bags with towels. My gosh I've never seen s o many linnens outside of a retail store. I started washing then so I can divide them between the three animal shelters I support.

 

MIL also has been stocking up on cleaning stuff, lightbulbs, and soaps and shampoos for several years. She bought in bulk from Costco. That stuff will also he divided among the animal shelters.

 

I might not have the most expensive or valuable items but all together I should be able to sell what I am getting for $15, 000 and have a decent writeoff from the charitable contributions. I'm going back for the real alligator hand bag and the ostrich cowboy boots. There's a few hundred in those items especially the 3 pair of boots.

 

I'm keeping the Revereware. It was never used. Oooh and I have the lalique!

[Keenly]

If your husbands mother died, and your reaction is dollar signs in your eyes........

 

Is that what this is?

[HokeyReligions]

No. Not dead yet. But finally in a home. The woman should be in prison. Shes a violent abuser. Four years ago she killed her second husband. They had been married over 40 years. During the process of getting the crazy witch into a home we talked to her late husbands brother and doctors and police and adult protective services. When her husband had a mini stroke at home he soiled himself. He couldn't speak or move.

 

She was mad at him for soiling himself and as punishment she made him sit in it for one full hour while she screamed at him and hit him. Then she called 911. Had she got help for him right away he probably would not have suffered the massive stroke a few months later.

 

This is the woman that had 7 at-home abortions in the 1950s. After each one she would beat hubby and tell him how worthless and unloved and unwanted he was and that she should have got rid of him too.

 

This is the woman that beat hubby all the time. When he was sick if he coughed and it woke her she would beat him for it. One of the things that caused the scar tissue in hubbys brain now were the beatings with broom handles, iron skillet, and other items.

 

Her second husband, hubbys step dather tried to help hubby but wasn't able to. So he set up a trust fund and left him some items in his will. Well, the week after he died the wicked witch change everything and took the money. Then she started juet handing out her jewelry and other items to virtual strangers. Other distant relatives got into the house and took more. I've pulled hubby away a few times because the stress is hard on him. I worry about his health. He had several strokes last year and I almost list him.

 

Anyway we have a key to the house and discussed what we want from her house and will now get it. I told hubby we could just walk away and have no contact at all - nothing is worth his health. He thought about it and short of dancing on her grave for closure, getting what he can out of her house is the next best thing.

 

She used to have elaborate christmas parties and give lavish gifts to friends. At one party someone asked if she had a gift for her nephew (she introduced hubby as her much older sister's son) and she backpeddled and gave him a toaster and calendar she got from her bank!

 

The woman is evil and if I had my way she would be in a state sanitorium and everything she had would be sold and the money divided between hubby and his step-uncle.

 

I will never forget the first time I met her. We all met at a restaurant. Hubby and I got there first. We sat at a table. They had water and bread. We waited. We finally found then. They came in and sat on the othrr side of the restaurant. They wouldn't move to our table. Why? Because the restaurant had to let black people in and they all sat on our sode, whereas where they chose to sit was all white. Oh she hates black people and wii only tolerate Latinos as servants.

 

The home she chose to live in is in a predominantly white neighboorhood and costs over five grand a month. The one she wanted to go into wouldn't accept her because she is a violent racist. She visited then called and left dozens of messages over night and on Sunday. Messages where she screamed and threatened and swore thrn a minute later was pleasant then ten minutes later screamed about how rude they were to not call ger back.

 

No. We want to get as much out of her estate as we can. One because we can sure use the money and two because it would piss her off royally and it helps hubby get closure.

 

I already took the tragically beautiful giant tortoise shell from her wall and gave that to the museum. It was illegal for them to have but she didn't care and thought it a wonderful treat to have. She was so proud of it and wanted to get another.

 

The woman is HORRIBLE. She gave me an open bag of rotting potatoes for Christmas one year. She would hate knowing I actually got the lalique that she promised me - and promised her hairdresser, and promised anyone else she tried to manipulate.

 

Joan Crawford had nothing on the evil of this woman.

[TaraMaiden]

Keep the whisky, and enjoy it.

 

It may be illegal for you to sell alcohol given that you don't have a licence.

 

Other uses may be possible, but I'm sure they're illegal, not to say murderous, and I'm a bit PMT today, so don't pay me no 'ttention.....

[d0nnivain]

Be careful about taking & selling stuff. If she is still alive there are legal issues concerning Medicare / Medicaid, look backs & set offs regarding her money.

[carhill]

Be careful about taking & selling stuff. If she is still alive there are legal issues concerning Medicare / Medicaid, look backs & set offs regarding her money.

 

Good point. I had those kinds of concerns handling my mother's estate after she became mentally ill and paid for some competent legal advice on structuring her trust and my capacity as trustee properly. One phrase my lawyer used, in a cautionary way, was 'elder abuse'.

 

OP, I feel so sorry for your H, presuming this is his mother, that such a relationship existed that you would be venting in this manner about a family member. That's so sad.

 

Hopefully this will all be over soon.

[HokeyReligions]

Thank you for the advice. We are doing everything legally, including the private sale of the alcohol. In fact the attorney is who told us how to legally sell the stuff because he buys and sells wines and spirits and is a collector.

 

I know I sound like a greedy relative and part of me is, but I would give everything if I could turn back time and give hubby the mother he should have had. If hubby wanted to take the matetial things we have and destroy them in front of his mother to hurt her I would hand him the lalique. He's far too pragmatic to do that but we did take a painting of her for target practice then burning.

 

Believe me we are holding back and trying to do the Christian thing for her in spite of her. But doing what is right doesn't alleviate the pain from 60+ years of torment, lies and abuse. I'm trying to find the passage in the bible that says we should treat the child of satan with the restraint and respectful behavior (not actual respect) that we have shown already. I did an online bible search for "succubus" and "satan" and "beelzabub" and all I find are pictures of her. Not what to do about her.

[HokeyReligions]

Good point. I had those kinds of concerns handling my mother's estate after she became mentally ill and paid for some competent legal advice on structuring her trust and my capacity as trustee properly. One phrase my lawyer used, in a cautionary way, was 'elder abuse'.

 

OP, I feel so sorry for your H, presuming this is his mother, that such a relationship existed that you would be venting in this manner about a family member. That's so sad.

 

Hopefully this will all be over soon.

 

Thank you. It sounds like you love your mother and I'm eorry that it was so painful for you. I understand caring for a parent you love. I loved my mom and she lived with us for the last 8 years of her life.

 

My husband has never loved his mother. When his pain became overwhelming - after we'd been married 10 years - we got into counseling. Thats when I found out how deeply he was abused and hurt. Its also when the scar tissue from the physical abuse began to manifest into real actual neurological disability.

 

Hubbys childhood friends would not go to his house if his mother was ther because she would scream at and hurt them too plus even at five years old some kids were embarassed for hubby and how he was treated.

 

From four to fourteen hubbys mother had a maid. She was black. She was the only one who treated hubby well. Hubby loved her. I think she kept hubby sane. She used to put the medicine on hubbys head because at five he broke out in sores snd started losing his hair. It was the stress of his mothern venomous treatment of him. He had a bald spot bt the time he was 11.

 

When hubby contacted his mother after 20+ years of no contact, and in some conversations his mother would refer to the woman who was her house keeper as "hubbys mammey". She was serious. Thats how she thought of this woma n. She also accused her of being an "uppity thief" and said she was dirty and wouldn't have another black servant

Oh she went on her racist rants.

 

I tend to feel sorry for older people and have a lot of respect and curiosity for what they have seen in their lives and how society was when they were my age. Not so with this woman. She was never liked but she was feared.

[carhill]

Thanks, my mom passed after eight years of psychosis (paraphrenic dementia was the phrase they used) back in 2010. I remember some of what you're chronicling here well, except for the emotions. I was never angry with her behaviors because I knew she was mentally ill. However, my exW has a markedly different memory, since she knew little of my mom before she was psychotic, and vented a lot like you're doing here and we did have some marked 'discussions' where and when she was misappropriating assets from my mother's estate. Glad all that is in the past. Mom's dead, wife's gone. Life goes on.

 

My best advice, if it were sought, would be to wrap this all up as soon as practical and visit MIL seldom in the home. Sometimes it's healthier to let it go. My sympathies.

[HokeyReligions]

Yes. It is healthier to let it go. I gave hubby permission to never see his mother again. He contacted her again because his therapist thought he should. I did too. Not for closure but for understanding and learning how to cope. He thought he should do that agaij because APS said they thought it would help her settle in her new place if we called and sent her mail and visited. Hubbys anxiety got bad and I feared for his health. Then we talked about the things we discussed in therapy years ago and how and why I disagreed with.APS. when he realised that no conract was not only best but was also wife and self approved, it was like a weight lifted off his heart. The burning of her portrait and obtaining of some of her material items is cathartic. He's getting something from her and purging himself of her torment. And I am just as thrilled.

[Radu]

I thought the same as carhil, until i remembered the stuff you wrote about your hubby's interaction with her while growing up.

 

So ... NPD or BPD ?

 

PS: Keep the cheapest possible liquor and the most expensive liquor.

The latter is for drinking when she dies, and the former is for spraying it on her grave some thunderous night.