What does he want to say??

[YssaBoo]

I keep coming back and asking for advice every month...men are so confusing It has been 9 months since we broke up and we went for 5 months without speaking and I being very angry with him and kinda trashing him to people...and he did the same...

 

2 weeks before my 18th b-day we started talking again...I have dated off and on the past few months and he knows this..he hasn't ..he told me that he was sick of dating and relationships. He was sweet to me and we contacted each other only by emails and about 2 weeks ago he was talking about xmas gifts and how he was choosing them and I told him about one I got a friend and by the price,he must have assumed it was for a guy..it was. He didn't talk to me for 10 days..I felt bad and took the gift back,knowing it was too much.

 

Now we are talking again and he says he thinks I am mature enough emotionally to handle the reasons for our b/u...We actually have fun talking on emails and I gave him a xmas card and he thanked me for it...never did that when we were together.. I saw him at work today and I was with another guy..he was with a friend(a girl...older and going through a b/u and trying to get back with him)when he saw me he got the biggest smile..I was busy and waved and smiled...

 

when he came home he emailed me and was so funny and said he saw me twice today and wanted to talk at work,but thought I looked busy...I finally feel really good about myself and am embarking on modeling and college...Does he want this second chance...I have changed and he says he reall notices it...please help..I know I ask this about every month...but it seems that he just gets more confusing...what does he want? and what does he want to say..??

[sean001]

Alright here's a better question -- what do YOU want?

 

I mean, you're getting ready to embark on some positive changes. You're feeling good, holding your head high, etc. Why screw it up by going back to an old relationship?

 

Do you even want this guy? I mean, I don't know the reasons for your breakup, but it sounds like his whole control thing with "being mad because you had a gift for a guy" is just compete ***t. He doesn't own you, but yet still wants to control who you date?

 

Ask yourself if this is the kind of a man you really want before you trying to figure out what HE wants. Once you figure out, let him know and see if he's got what it takes to be with YOU.

 

*s*

[baffled111]

OK, i'm kinda young and don't have alot of experience, but i would say that this guy definately had strong feelings for you when you broke up because afterwards he didn't want anything to do with relationships, he probably didn't want to have to deal with the loss again, even if he broke up with you. Some of those feelings stayed with him after the breakup and that's why he was supposedly jealous of you being with other guys.

 

I'm not exactly sure if he wants to get back together, I definately wouldn't talk about it with him, but you could see if he was free to do something some night if you're sure you want to get back with him. Maybe start by inviting him, along with other friends, to go out someplace. this should give you a better indication of how he feels without making it like your trying to date again. If your current relationship stays good or starts getting closer, maybe you could invite him someplace with just you.

 

After that, your kinda on your own, your going to have to assess how things went and, being that your the only one that sees how he acts, decide whether or not to bring up the subject of getting back together. Thats the best i can do with the limited information and my own limited experiance. I hope it helps some though. It's had for me to try to judge his feelings without seeing how he acts.

[YssaBoo]

I e-mailed him last night and invited him to a party that I'll be attending this week and he said that he was interested in coming. He asked me for all of the details tonight. If he wasn't interested would he come? That's the vibe that I get. He's been very nice lately in all of his letters and tells me what he's doing and pretty much his whole life story for the day. I've noticed when he's in a bad mood and chews me out in an email for no reason and I give it back to him, he doesn't talk to me. But then like a week later he emails me out of the blue, being all sweet and nice. I've learned that I can't have contact with his sister b/c she goes to his mother about a lot of stuff and blabs everything, and really I've been the only person that's close to him that has accepted his family and what they are...and it's not good. You name it, this guy has been through it. He is going to college and is the only one that is trying to better himself out of the family.

[baffled111]

I can sit here and tell you that he wouldn't come if he wasnt interested, but i could be completely wrong, he could be going because its a chance for him to met other people. However, im going to say theirs a decent chance he wants to go because of you.Honostly though, you can't tell just beacuse he's interested in going.

 

I would also like to say that you should make sure you dont get to hopeful about getting back together, if it tuns out he doesn't want to, you could just be setting yourself up for heart ache. Don't try to will him to want to get back together. If you hated this guy then everything he has done so far you would be able to come up with a different explanation for then if you really wanted to get back together.

 

maybe that didn't make a whole lot of sense, but im not making alot of sense tonight. I'm tired and not totally coherent. Hopefully you can catch my drift anyway. I say don't get to hopeful about a second chance to soon, but see how this party goes. I think you will get a much better insight as to how he feels. That will get you guys talking face to face in a loose, more sociable enviornment. Also i don't know what exactly you mean by he "chews you out" but if he was trying to get back together i don't think he would be tearing you down or making you feel bad. I'll try writing again when i know what im thinking in my head and can formulate sentances.