JoburgFlame87 Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 (edited) Me (m/26) and my ex (f/27) were together for almost 8 years - our entire adult life... my first and only love and sexual partner. Our first few months after we met were magical but it all came to sudden end. She suddenly ditched me and humiliated me as I chased her. A few months later she shows interest again and I naively welcome her back. Over the next year the truth of her lying and cheating slowly unravels. By the time everything comes out I've moved in with her and established much stronger feelings, and my adolescent mind isn't strong enough to break up and move on. Over the following 6 years, she was faithful and committed etc etc and tried her utmost to atone for all the pain she caused me. We were long distance for many of those years, but grew extremely close. Our relationship flourished into something we both expected to last forever. We were the poster child of a happy couple. At the beginning of this year we moved in together again and it seemed like our love for one another was suddenly amplified even further. We wanted to spend every waking moment with each other. Our careers became an inconvenience for both of us. However, emotional immaturity and years of being apart meant I never truly addressed the trust issues and resentment caused at the beginning of our relationship. A few weeks after we moved in, I opened up like I never have done before... I had allowed it to slowly eaten away and poison my mind whilst we are apart. A part of me hated us and she saw it. Like a small blot on an otherwise immaculate sheet of paper. She was hurt for a few days but she picked herself up and we continued happily as we were and never discussed it again. I feel stupid for carrying this baggage for so long and letting it eat away at us. Over the following months leading up to our break-up, I had started to address and let go of these issues. I grew closer to her parents and we almost lazily settled into co-habitting life. Meanwhile she gets a new job and new (and happily single) friends. And then two weeks ago, without warning, she follows GIGS to the letter: - Partying/drinking all night - Extremely mixed signals - "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you" - Contradicting and insubstantial reasons to break-up The list goes on. I'm devastated but obviously cannot understand how it could all have gone wrong. Quizzing her for answers and closure didn't help. Among all the wishy-washyness and insubstantial reasoning she explained that the day I told her I still had trust issues was the day she started to pull away... and that after so many years she had hoped that she'd made up her mistakes. Did I screw things up or, in typical GIGS fashion is this just way of breaking away guilt-free? I've already explained that these issues could be worked out, that we are an amazing couple... but she is intent on being single and going on a journey of self-growth. She hopes that one day in the future we will get back together again. Right now I don't think that is possible, but the thought that I screwed things up is preventing me from moving on. Someone please give me an objective opinion. Edited November 16, 2013 by JoburgFlame87 Link to post Share on other sites
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