UAGIRL13 Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 Hello... need some help. So I have been working for my current boss for about 8 months now. He is the best ever! He is confident, smart, intelligent, and nice looking. I have noticed that since I have been on board, he is non-stop complimenting my work, out of the blue saying thank you and what a great job I am doing. He has also gone out for a business meeting with a client with me and the first time, we toured his house and the second time he asked if I needed to come in before the long drive back and I said no but then he insisted I come in for a little bit and he gave me another tour of the house. This time upstairs. Of course, nothing happened but it just seemed odd. We also had lunch that he has paid for. He is about 10 years older than I am and he is married but the marriage I believe was "mail order"... don't know a lot about this. Any way, he also asks me to come to his office to just to talk and he confides in me about other employees and our company with upcoming changes. One time he called he was checking on something for work and asked if I still liked the change and then he proceeded to say, "so what are you doing"... I just said on the way home. Then we proceeded to get off the phone ... awkward Also, in the last couple of weeks he has done a lot more complimenting me to other people, reached out and grabbed my hand as if it were in a professional manner but it was just out of the blue, weird again. He has also been standing right next to me when I sit at my desk when he talks to me and put his arm around my shoulder when complimenting me to another person. Last but not least, the company had made an error in my check and he came to the office to let me know that they would be sending it but he then asked "do you need me to front you the money until your check gets here"... I am just confused as to whether he is REALLY nice to me or is attracted to me or my personality. He has said that I have a great personality. He does try to talk about hobbies, etc. with me as well. We do text sometimes and he texts me compliments too. Another thing is, not very many people like him at all and I do mean about 90% of the people I have come in contact with simply do not like him as a boss. I think he is great. Can someone help me read these signals??? Looking for answers or if I am reading too much into this and yes, I am finding myself attracted to his personality as well. Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 I think it seems like he likes you. But he is married. Don't believe him if he says about being unhappy in his marriage. This is a common "pickup" line actually. Careful, because you are the vulnerable one in this interaction (single as i understand, and also lower than him in the hierarchy). Also, I am curious, why people don't like him? 90% is a big percentage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UAGIRL13 Posted November 17, 2013 Author Share Posted November 17, 2013 Its because he is very direct and a lot of people tale this for being rude. Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 I'm sorry but I got a really skeevy and creeped out vibe after reading this. He sounds like a sleeze. First of all he's your boss, and he's MARRIED. The fact that he's so blatantly open about his interest with you, touching you, it just creeps me out. And I'm sure other people can see this in the office as well. It's not professional that he singles you out like this, it's even more unprofessional that he talks about other employees with you. The only thing that went through my head after reading this was, "sexual harassment suit." Link to post Share on other sites
90s kid Posted November 28, 2013 Share Posted November 28, 2013 Inviting you to take a "tour" of his house, touching you, and offering you money is not normal behavior for a boss. It sounds like he's looking for more from you. If you're not interested in pursuing anything, I would suggest that you distance yourself from him at work. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamila Posted November 29, 2013 Share Posted November 29, 2013 Yes, he's attracted to you. Act more coldly and run. Link to post Share on other sites
elbe Posted November 29, 2013 Share Posted November 29, 2013 Things to remember: 1.) He is married. 2.) He is your boss. 3.) You are in a vulnerable position. The minute things go sour it could mean your job. If you aren't uncomfortable with his closeness then treat it as a close friend. This guy might just be lonely. Alternatively, if his advances are making you feel uncomfortable you will need to draw boundaries for him and be clear. Link to post Share on other sites
OnlyHonesty Posted December 1, 2013 Share Posted December 1, 2013 You attempt to justify your potential actions by stating that the marriage he has is mail order. You know he is attracted to you, you know what it is about you that has attracted him to you and you know all of this is wrong. This is an opportunity to learn about restraint, self respect, morals, inner values, boundaries and looking at the bigger picture. It is always, and always will be extremely unwise to mix business with pleasure. Perhaps you should ask yourself why you are entertaining thoughts of a married man as opposed to one who is single. It is likely one who is single would mean you were more vulnerable, would have no excuses to avoid intimacy etc. Also your self esteem is in question since this man so easily has your attention from mere ego stroking and attention born out of lust and a potential unsatisfied marriage situation. Please split up what you write a bit next time, it would have made it easier to read / follow. Link to post Share on other sites
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