Feeling down again...

[sinkerswim]

I havent posted in quite awhile about my ex fiance (he left me last Feb)....I was starting to feel a little better about things and all. Met a great new guy here on the internet we totally clicked ..but after awhile...he didnt care for me much anymore. Which made me feel blue.

 

ANYWAY...about my ex fiance...

of course this is my first Christmas without him. It really hit me the other night while wrapping gifts. Because they were not gifts for him like they usually were.... I always bought so much.

and I knew that this Xmas was going to be so different. He always showered me with soooo many gifts during Xmas.

Of course I have my wonderful family (parents, brothers, nieces nephews..)

and I spent it with them...

But my sadness was overwhelming on Christmas Eve. I couldnt help but cry.

My fiance and I always had our traditions, and I truly, truly miss that. It made me wonder what he was doing for the night.

When I went to church last night, I prayed soo hard after I recieved communion when the choir was singing a solemn carol. (Catholics know what I mean) Anyway... I wanted to weep. Then my mom whispered in my ear that this next year was going to be a good year for me. Well, that made me cry... I can only hope and pray.

 

I am always going to love and miss my ex fiance Edward sooo very much.

There is so much I miss...we were together 8 years.

So...Im feeling blue and have a yukky feeling in my stomach.

Im very lonely.

Im wondering what he did this Chrismtas....I wonder if he even thought about me at all...

I forgive him for what he has done to me and I pray that he had a nice christmas....

 

I sure hope life gets better for me. I hope everythng gets better for all of us.

I guess I will always be "up and down" over this.

[greenhorn]

sinkerswim ,

 

I can really understand your situation.Though after the break-up however strong we make ourselves there are times when we have relapses and trust me it happens with everyone.

 

There are moments and occasions which brings back old memories but these are the times when we require utmost strength to belive that may be this was our destiny and we have to live up with this.

 

There is really no way to erase out everything.

 

I really appreciate the fact that you still feel good about your ex and wish him all the best.

 

Have faith in God you are going to have a good future.

 

I hope by now you are feeling a bit better.

 

Good Luck

[UnicornGirl]

Originally posted by sinkerswim

I am always going to love and miss my ex fiance Edward sooo very much.

There is so much I miss...we were together 8 years.

 

I sure hope life gets better for me. I hope everythng gets better for all of us.

I guess I will always be "up and down" over this.

 

You will not always be "up and down," but you will most likely always feel love for him. That is something beautiful inside of you, this capability to care and love no matter what happens. Many wonderful things will come your way if you can deal with your negative thoughts and sad feelings effectively, and I am sure you can. We all can.

 

"That which does not kill us can only make us stronger."

[moon]

Sinkerswim,

 

That is a sad story about you and your ex. I think it will take you a while to get over him. I don't know what is the right formula for getting over somebody. I have had two relationships in my life (I've had others but shorter term) one lasted for a year (plus discussions of getting back together and lots of contact for another nine months) and another one that was on and off for three years, but I knew the guy four. I can't decide which one is harder to get over. It should have been the year one, because it was shorter. But I do think the longer relationships are harder to get over because you become so accustomed to person being in your life. I think I was more in love with the first boyfriend, but the second one was more apart of my mind and life. Both guys ended the relationship with me. I think I feel sad that I've had two bad break ups and both the guy dumped me. The first guy was more right for me and it was a slow, slow ending to the relationship. The second guy and I had lots of break ups, he wasn't right for me, yet dumped me for somebody else in the end. I think I am feeling sorry for myself because I've had two bad breaks ups in my life. I guess there is always something to be sad about in life.

[sinkerswim]

Thanks for the responses guys...Ive always liked the fact that I could come here and cry a bit.

I keep thinking though, that I am 32, and I dont want to end up all alone in my life.

I never, ever DREAMED that I would be where I am at at this age...I was supposed to be married to my ex by now.

 

Im scared of everything. But I have to be OK...the more time goes on here...it feels like the more further away I am getting from my ex fiance.

For some reason that REALLY bothers me..

But I have to remember that he is still on this earth...still lives a few towns over...and is always a phone call away. Even though I know I CANT call him.

 

But it just feels like a death to me since hes been gone.

[Urban Rubble01]

sinkerswim:

 

I'm only 22. My and ex and I were together for 3.5 years. Eventhough we're younger and weren't together as long, I've got to tell you, I feel the exact same way. There was no doubt in my mind (I don't think there was in her's either) that this was it, that this was my soulmate and nothing could ever break us apart. But here I am, we're "on a break" and no matter how much she continues to tell me she loves me, it looks more and more like she's moving on.

 

I'm scared too. We're from the same hometown, but her parents are moving away soon and when that happens, there is no chance of accidentally bumping into her, I can't go down to her mom's house and find out how she's doing sometime down the line. All she would have to do to be out of my life forever is change her cell phone number. That is without a doubt the most terrifying thought in the world.

 

I don't know why I wrote this. It made me cry and wasn't helpful to anyone.

[sinkerswim]

Urban....

Im sorry to hear that...being together for 3 years IS a long time...

The way my fiance left me was saying he needed "space" for a few days..

It was total hell after that...

Ive been through the worst of my depression....I feel better. But things are just really bothering me right now.

I often wonder if he is thinking about me...I still do not understand how you can be with somene that many years, and all of a sudden things change.

 

We could have worked on things...he says my problem was I was too obsessive/controlling.

It kills me.

 

Anyway..if you ever want to talk feel free to message me.

Im very sorry you are feeling sad.

[Urban Rubble01]

Yeah, at my age 3 years is a significant part of my life. I mean, I love/d this girl more than anything on this earth, bur a HUGE part of the depression is just having the routine changed.

 

I don't understand it either, how people just change one day. What hurts the most is that she said she was feeling like that for 2 months, why didn't she talk to me about it that whole time ? Why did she continue to talk about marriage and tell me she loved me like everything was fine right up until the day before we broke up ? The fact is, people don't just change, our exes knew these things for awhile and they didn't try and talk to us.

 

Yeah, I'm sorry I'm feeling sad too. I'm sorry we're ALL feeling sad. I really thought I was alot better, but I've realized most of that is just because she keeps telling me she loves me and that she wants it to work one day. The thought of really being without her for good still puts me in tears. I've got a LONG way to go before I'm any better.

[sinkerswim]

awww....well its been since February 3rd for me....and Ive come a long way since then. Honestly things DO get better. I just think the holidays are making a big impact on me right now.

New Years is going to be tough.

But I have to remember that I can get through this. You can get through this.

 

I wish for you that she can give you a straight answer. She is stringing you along right now and that sucks. I know you love her sooo much.

 

We were together 8 solid years...no breaks.

 

And...things also seemed fine with me and my ex all the way until the very end.

In fact, 2 days before he did this..I asked if he was leaving me because we got into a minor argument and he said 'Of course not...Im not leaving you. You blow things out of proportion.'

Then BAM...he did it.

Wow... the most horrible time in my life. 8 years and now nothing.

Ive gotten a lot of help and Im on anti depressants because of this.

 

Remember you always have someone here to talk to.

I hope things truly work out for you.

[ddindc]

Originally posted by sinkerswim

I havent posted in quite awhile about my ex fiance (he left me last Feb)....I was starting to feel a little better about things and all. Met a great new guy here on the internet we totally clicked ..but after awhile...he didnt care for me much anymore. Which made me feel blue.

 

ANYWAY...about my ex fiance...

of course this is my first Christmas without him. It really hit me the other night while wrapping gifts. Because they were not gifts for him like they usually were.... I always bought so much.

and I knew that this Xmas was going to be so different. He always showered me with soooo many gifts during Xmas.

Of course I have my wonderful family (parents, brothers, nieces nephews..)

and I spent it with them...

But my sadness was overwhelming on Christmas Eve. I couldnt help but cry.

My fiance and I always had our traditions, and I truly, truly miss that. It made me wonder what he was doing for the night.

When I went to church last night, I prayed soo hard after I recieved communion when the choir was singing a solemn carol. (Catholics know what I mean) Anyway... I wanted to weep. Then my mom whispered in my ear that this next year was going to be a good year for me. Well, that made me cry... I can only hope and pray.

 

I am always going to love and miss my ex fiance Edward sooo very much.

There is so much I miss...we were together 8 years.

So...Im feeling blue and have a yukky feeling in my stomach.

Im very lonely.

Im wondering what he did this Chrismtas....I wonder if he even thought about me at all...

I forgive him for what he has done to me and I pray that he had a nice christmas....

 

I sure hope life gets better for me. I hope everythng gets better for all of us.

I guess I will always be "up and down" over this.

 

What can one say? My fiance left me three weeks ago, only days after she had moved in and we had purchased our Christmas tree. Ours, too, was a long relationship (over five years), and I was shocked - am still shocked - by what has occured. How can one feel so alone, when apparently so many others have suffered the same? But no matter how many of us have had to endure this, its always personal; the pain can never be shared or relieved. I wonder how she is, whether she still cares for me, or thinks of me. I did so much for that I am sorry for, and I regret every missed opportunity. Everything counts, every little thing, no matter how insignificant. Sometimes, its the small things that matter most.

 

I, too miss our rituals, our names, our habbits. She haunts every moment of my day, everytime I see a duck (don't ask), or pass our favourite restuarant, or think of the beach. How do you let go of someone who was so much a part of you? Who was so entwined in your life in everyway?

[DCLR]

What can i say... Iam just 20 but when i was 18 i met the gurl i always dreamnt of and last yr on valentines she left me , i was with her for about 1.5yrs but i spent 24/7 with her and i did everything with her. so no matter what i do i can never forget her i even try to think i hate her when i see her walkin but i cant even swear at her. I still love her so much and to think that 3 months ago she got in contact with me to say she was sorry and she even came for a spin in my car and we talked and talked and decided we shud try well shortly after that she was texting me and calling me etc etc then all of the sudden her mobile was off always and i didnt see her around until i saw her on the 31st of December with another guy kissing :'( and that killed me. But you know wats wierd that wen she sees me she looks at me in a way like if she still loved me. And once wen she was seeing another guy well i went to her house to basically take some of her stuff back to her and we ended up.... from like argueging to ... like hm iam sorry i love you and getting it on.. . I know that if we are alone together theres no chance we can keep apart. And for some reason iam 100% sure will meet again.

[sinkerswim]

Im so sorry you guys...believe me, I know the pain.

It is best to take things one day at a time.

I dont know what they think after they leave us. I would love to know if he has ever gotten depressed over the situation.

 

Anyway....keep letting your feelings out and talking about it with others (like here)

Best of luck you...