Barely hanging in there...

[jc63]

My W left about 3 weeks ago. She said she was not in love with me anymore and that she did not find me attractive and hasn't found me attractive for a long time. I am a musician who plays all the time for little money and over the past year, I became very unhappy doing that but I did nothing about it. Also, I gained a stupid amount of weight and stopped taking care of myself. She used to think that me playing music in front of people was sexy, but when I stopped enjoying it, so did she. (can't blame her)

 

Since she left, she and I have been going to counseling separately to work on personal issues before we start going together (turns out, we each have some issues). I have announced that I will be leaving my band Jan. 1st, and I have lost over 20 pounds and quit smoking. For the most part, I am trying to give her all the space she needs so that when she sees me, she'll notice the difference. Unless she calls or texts me, I don't call her. I just don't know if that's the right thing to do.

 

I've told her that she's the love of my life and my soulmate and I've apologized for being so angry and bitter to and around her. But I know she doesn't want to her it, she wants to see it. I just don't know if I'm going down the right path to get her back. I'm doing everything I know how to do. I know this takes time but I'm going crazy without her.

 

Any advice is appreciated.

[d0nnivain]

I'm sorry you are going through this. She said some pretty hateful things.

 

 

I'm glad you are going through counseling. Continue working with that professional for the best assistance. Keep up your weight loss & no smoking. Both are good for you.

 

 

Hang in there.

[RightThere]

Focus on yourself and improving your life. Sounds like you are doing the right things.

 

Giving her space is great, but don't be afraid to throw her a lifeline once in a while to see if she's willing to work on things together. Women like to feel desired.