Is it me? Maybe so xD.

[FrostBlaze]

There was this topic about "nice guy" syndrome soo i figured i would make this topic, a question has puzzled me for some time.

All of my (3) relationships have ended the same, i am in my mid twenty'z, the blows to my self esteem make me think that maybe it is just me, or i atract the wrong people.

 

Soo, if i could get some sort of feedback it would be great, i will start by talking about myself and general behavior in relationships i suppose.

 

Soo i am in my mid twenty'z/europe, curently working and sustaining my parents, because they are ill. I never got to go to university because of the financial problems, so i obviously don't have a very well paid job.

I am rather a introvert i just don't like talking to people much, i keep to myself and am extremely hard to piss of, very calm nature. All my co-workers complain that i got no stress in the world and i'm a hit the 100 year mark xD.(are they wrong).

Also hardkworking, all of my jobs i ever got is because people knew i worked hard and don't talk behind people's back's, i get recommended by ex co-workers/bosses.

From what people tell me, it seems i have a habbit of self-pitying myself, i never notice that and it get's me angry when someone says they feel pitty for me. It's not where I AM GOING at when i talk about my past or day to day events, i don't intend to self-pitty myself but i don't have much "happy' things to talk about, because i go/have went through a lot of s*** in life.

So it's pretty automated, if u wanna know me and talk about my past, u will hear sad stuff xD. Some of them aren't even that sad, i find them funny...but i guess maybe it's just the WAY i say it.

The only great things in my life are my brother/his wife and niece.(generally, my familly)

I've got few GOOD friend left, by choice i had to break ties with most of them. I always helped them when they had problems(suicidal even), they never helped me, i learned who trully where my friends.

 

Relationship wise:

We communicate a lot, we laugh, i treat them good and try not to argue.

I give them space i am not some controlling freak or clingy.

When i get dumped, it's always something like this " you are to good for me/to nice with me/ i don't deserve you". <---wich i know is bs excuses.

My most recent girl said she felt pity for me, when we broke up, really infuriated me.

My relationships begin smooth, they are interested, most of the time madly in love and contact me 24/7(clingy), making sure i ain't doing someone else, oh mysterious me...then they want to know more about me.

 

I tell them eventually because they insist, i try not to,...

I am a very lovable person(i like giving love XD, lol), so if i like you i will LET YOU KNOW full well, by being all lovey dovey n stuff, probably a turn-off.

They feel to secure around me, maybe boored? But romantically/sexually boored, not otherwise, i was fun otherwise.(pretty sure about that one)

So they lost interest rather quick and just wanted to be friends. "i loved you then, but you are so not the "*******" i thought you we're" xD <--something like that.

 

They liked it when i argued with THEm instead of being calm, and generallly demanded that i be rougher. I am just a calm person (not eh pusseh) just calm. They felt love when i was angry and rough, i always believed they confuse fear with love.

Quote:Nice guys are faithful, interesting, kind, loyal & polite. They also have self confidence & know who they are as people.

^--pretty much like that. Loyal yeah, i had eyes for noone else when i loved my girl, i was slightly jealous when she was teasing me. "oh that guy is soooo hot". She knew that irked me.

Either way i put my foot down, i wasn't no doormat.

Sometimes i think i just dated immature girls, they wanted the bad-boy kind, that cheats on them or shows how great he is by having hundreds of girls fall for him etc.

 

Well idk what else to say really.

Awaiting imput...if any, ty for your time. Peace .

[mikei880]

So my 2 cents on this... so you have had relationships with women that eventually leave you by saying "you are too good for me". Lets looks at their character traits spelled out in this post : clingy (SHE lacks self confidence). She says "you are too good for me" (SHE lacks self confidence). She wants you to be rougher with her, she wants you to have big time arguements with her, maybe she equates this to "passion". Maybe she is going through a bad boy phase, because those dbag's will home in on girls like that. But more likely she doesn't know what a proper modern day relationship should be. Maybe she just doesn't know what she wants.Or she has not fully matured yet. Whatever the case you control you. Be the most awesome person you can. Most importantly learn from your experience and choose better women. Good luck!

[Philosoraptor]

You need to take care of yourself better it seems. Put more positive things into your life. Find new hobbies, join a club, take trips... give yourself more positive things to talk about so that these depressing things don't keep coming up and make people think you're some miserable unhappy person.

 

But it sounds like you've attracted some real clingers and nutters. If you find that being calm and concise during an argument upsets your partner then you've got someone with issues. So they're clingy, demand you be rough, and attempt to bring jealousy out of you? You've simply been attracting mates that just aren't a good fit for who you are. Just have to be patient and keep looking.